SD disappointed SO again
Yes my saga never ends. Every year SO takes SKs to mass on Christmas Eve. SD let SO know she wasn't going . Her new boyfriends family is having a get together. Mass is at 4pm to put it in context. SO is so upset but said of course he wants her to enjoy time with her boyfriend. He thought he had one more time with her to do this. I know he isn't always as nice as he can be to me. But I guess this is a lot when your kids are getting older and you are losing them.
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Unfortunately this is
This is a special thing that only happens in the SP world. Bio parents understand what it’s like, but sometimes they come back or start their own families. You can still be a part of their traditions and celebrate their lives.
I disagree that this only
I disagree that this only happens in steplife. What is typical in steplife is that traditions sometimes have to be flexible to accomodate custody schedules.. but things get more complicated when people marry anyway since there are two families minimum that may have interest in carving out time.
What he is seeing in this case is not unique to steplife. Kids get older.. they want to do things as individuals.. not as part of their family unit, especially as teens.. and especially when they are dating. I'm quite certain that a party her BF's family is hosting is something she feels is socially important for her to participate in. She has been declining custody visits as it is.. so she is cutting the apron strings.. and this isn't really new.
It may be sentimental.. but what she wants to do is probably complletely normal and understandable... even if some of her other behaviors are a bit extreme (refusing visitation)
But in an
intact family, a religious observance or a traditional visit to grandparents on Christmas Eve would probably take precedence over a boyfriend's family event while the kid is still in high school at least and possibly continuing through college if the kid comes home for winter break. So I can understand his disappointment that this last time isn't going to happen. But also in an intact family the traditional events are probably more enjoyable because it is the whole family with buy in from both parents. And Christmas Eve events can be as important as Christmas morning in some families.
This is how I feel about it,
This is how I feel about it, if it was an intact family SD would be made to go. This is like the last thing he had with both kids. It is an early mass and I think she could take the time and then to go her boyfriends.I know that teenagers are all about themselves but since this family is full of lies she probably just doesn't want to go. I am sure her boyfriends family is having something. But this is another get out of dad time for her. These are all my opinions not SO. He didn't question her he just said okay. And who knows what SS will do now. But whatever, I go to my family's house so it doesn't involve me. I just get the sadness from SO.
In my family,.... we would
In my family,.... we would have been allowed to go to the other party.. lots of families are different.. and with older teens and young adults.. its not terrible for them to try to do their own thing socially..
I don't get it
She's doing what any young lady would be doing. Your DH seems to be thinking of her as a child rather than as a young adult. It's a sign we've done our job when the kids branch out.
Maybe try to get him to see that it would be worse if he had a daughter with no friends or outside interests who was still clinging on.
I know it is normal at her
I know it is normal at her age. I just fell bad that he wanted one more time especially that she rarely sees him. He just missed out on a lot and now it seems too late. He did not give her a hard time and he said that was it was fine.
SF. trying to buy ‘’’buy’’’
There kids attention. Yes , the SK get away with more. They also had there life effective by there parents divorce.||. There '' Happy Family'' is now EWE visitation. 1/2 a holiday at Amon's the other 1/2 at Dads. Odd years mom first. What a way to enjoy a childhood. I feel parents should suck it up until the kid reaches 18 And give them a real childhood.