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PB's picture

Submitted by PB on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 2:36am

After all the fight my partner had with his sister, and he had with me also, he took his messy princess to BM's home and he is looking after her when BM is at work, which is all day from 10 Am until midnight. He is not spending any minute for me, he is not coming home, he took my car and he is watching her princess who is not even close to be a princess 24/7. All i asked from him was find a job and go to work. Or ask BM to ask her mom to watch that girl a few days a week, or teach her to stay home a few hours, so we can spend a few hours alone. But nope, what he chose? Look after SD at BMs place? 

Comments

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 4:12am

So pack your bags and leave while he's gone. Grab this opportunity to escape. Whether it be to friends or family, just go!

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 5:45am

Get YOUR car.. take YOUR  cat and dog and leave.  If they were his pets also.. and you think he would still care for them? and you don't want to take them.. let him do that?  Find a pet boarding facility? find a place that will let you take them with you.  

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 11:07am

You take them with you! Why does it always seem as if you're looking for excuses to stay? Are you scared of him?

AgedOut's picture

Submitted by AgedOut on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 6:45am

 

 

  • he treats you badly
  • he ignores your wishes and does the opposite of what you ask
  • he stole your car
  • he refuses to work
  • he caters to everyone but you
  • he is not a good person and you know it
  • he lies to you
  • even his family know the stress is making you sick but HE. DOES. NOT. CARE.

He stole your car. How many red flags are needed w/ him? if you can't go now, or kick him out now, make a plan and do it as soon as possible. You're making excuses instead of plans.

 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 8:44am

This is crazy...  You must show some self respect and leave.  He in bed with the ex and you are not out the door.  He screwing BM in your car and you are thinking about ?   Go ASAP 

PB's picture

Submitted by PB on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 10:26am

Harry please show respect, he is not in bed with ex. There is nothing between him and ex, all the family know this. 

And i know it. What do u mean of screwing? Why your comments are not helpful and you always hurt me more?

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 9:30am

Report the car as stolen if you haven't already and change the locks. You pay the bills! Evict him!

Sadielady's picture

Submitted by Sadielady on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 11:09am

I feel for you. You're obviously in love with this man and you're holding on for a resolution that just isn't coming. The BM's work schedule leaves your SO as the only option for caring for SD in the evenings. It's understandable that you want to be with someone who makes time for you, but it doesn't look that that could happen right now, even if SO wanted it. This child needs to be taken care of so if you can't tolerate having the child in your home then what choice does he have? Don't get me wrong, it sounds like you've put a lot into this relationship and maybe SO has made some bad decisions along the way, but taking care of his daughter isn't one of them. You can't change the situation, you can choose how you respond to it. I know it isn't easy, but this child isn't going anywhere, so you have to either stay and accept the situation as it is, or go. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 11:47am

He is not your DH. He is still enmeshed with his X and their spawn while you support them all.  Go get your car, drop off the pets, get the divorce, and get on with your life.

Do not continue to do this to yourself.

Be kind to you.

Give rose

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 12:09pm

PB should keep the pets. It certainly doesn't sound like her H will care for them.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 2:15pm

They aren't married... This could be much easier than she thinks. Yes, she might lose her job but she'd gain a life.

Felicity0224's picture

Submitted by Felicity0224 on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 2:07pm

I'm so sad for you; in a lot of ways I've been where you are and I know that when you can't see yourself for how wonderful you are, it's impossible to believe no matter what anyone else tells you. But I hope you'll at least consider the fact that you ARE better than how you're being treated. You deserve so much more. And not just from a partner; from yourself too! You have the capacity to be happy on your own. It may not seem like it because you love your husband, but I suspect that after a while, you would be so happy that you left him. I know it is not easy.

I recommend you read a bit about the sunk cost fallacy, and trauma bonding. You are not the first woman to be disappointed by a man who was not what he seemed in the beginning. You're not the first woman to love a man who isn't worthy of her. Nor are you the first woman to cling to hope that her partner will change or go back to the way he was in the beginning. No one could rightfully fault you for not trying. How much more of your life do you want to give to waiting for this man to be a halfway decent partner? I'm assuming you're fairly young? You have a lifetime ahead of you; please don't look back in 10 years and wish that you'd made a change sooner. 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 4:43pm

We know you are a good person.  Better person then myself.  But you are being used.  There are other ways to care for his DD then  moving in with the ex.