Forcing to be SM
Hello, first of all I am sorry for my English, I am not native speaker. So hopefully you gonna understand me.
I am 30 and with my boyfriend 1 and half year. I lived before in England, where I was finally independant, travel a lot, but quite alone, missing my homeland and chosing bad partners. On vacation to see my family I fall in love with my boyfriend and come back home, although he has 4 years old son in 50/50 custody and I never was "kids person" or looking for their presents. I thought he is the right one and I more likely wont have my own childern (i never want and i thought I am infertile) so its good he have him. He promised me that if I come back he starts travel with me and try to keep my life fullfill as before.
From beggining everything was quite fine (we just coudnt travel bcs of covid). I saw that small one is quite brat, but I thought its bcs of splitting the parents and its gonna get better. I cared for him only few times a month bcs I took a shitty job and I was working a lot. So it could be quite OK, but small one is nightmare, whiney all the time, hyperacrive, evil (trying what he could, what I could hold). Wake uping almost everyday we have him in the midle of the night screaming for his dad till he come and stayed there. He even had to go to psychologist and got assistent to kindergarden. All the time ill, ussually when he coming back after week from his BM. My partner ussually had to stayed home with him even so he love his job a lot and small one makes him angry as well(my BF is really calm and kind person).
Everything changed, when I got unplanned pregnant (5months now) i had to stayed home from work bcs it was hard job and I coudnt handle it with pregnancy. Kindergarden is closed during holidays and my boyfriend pushing me to staying all day with her son. He leaving before he waking up and coming back home around 7pm. Small one going to sleep 8, lately at 9pm. I start to hate small one 
coudnt stand him and dont know what to do :(.
This week the kindergarden is open again, but BM return him ill again with starting pneumonia and high temperatures. I had to take him to doctor which told me its virological and I have to be carefull with my baby. My boyfriend is busy at work and seems to dont care it could hurt the unborn or me. We even start to urguing more often. It was rare before and ussually bcs of small one or BM. Now he forcing me to care of his son and blaming me that he doing so much for me and I couldnt do this little for him.
sorry for long story, but I am desperate. I read here many story and maybe i shouldnt fall in love with man with baby, but now ww gonna have our one so its late...
thank you for your advice, help and maybe support.
The kid shouldn’t be returned to you sick and needs to
Stay with the bio mum everytime she tries to do this visitation should be refused.
if your man cares for you, he'd care about your health and wellbeing instead of treating you as an unpaid maid/nanny.
that kid has 2 parents (which doesn't include you), if the dad can't care for his kid, then bio mum needs to keep him. She doesn't get to palm off skid to you and have you care for him because she wants time out from parenting
It isnt too late if you don't
It isnt too late if you don't want it to be. Just because you are pregnant does not mean you are stuck in this relationship. You did not sign up to be a parent to someone else's kid while the actual parents are off living their lives.
If BF is at work, then he needs to arrange his own childcare or BM needs to keep this kid. You cannot be expected to watch him. And if this kid is sick, BM just doesn't get to dump him off - she is his parent too, which means, she is also responsible when he is sick.
Have you considered leaving? Starting a new life for you and your unborn child? One where you aren't treated like garbage?
What country are you living
What country are you living in now?
He needs to realize that he is hurting you and pushing you away from him. His actions are not matching his promises to you when you gave up your life to live with him.
If his other child is sick, he needs to stay with BM. Covid is too big of a risk while you are pregnant and when your baby is little. Maybe she will start taking more precautions if she is being held responsible.
Is school starting back soon for him or does he have to do school virtual this year too?
Why is DH letting a sick SS come over?
Your main problem is DH. He wants a big happy Family. Where you act as SS mother. Doing those mother happy family things.
He must learn that that not going to happen with SS. DH didn't get his happy family with BM. Now he has a second chance with you and future BC . He should be told not to blow his second chance. At a happy family. Or he will be divorced again.
either send that kid to BM or tell DH to take the kid somewhere, and stay with him. You are NOT SS babysitter
I live in Czech Republic now,
I live in Czech Republic now, where I coming from.
Me and my BF has serious talk yesterday after I put the post. He taking day off tomorow and I gonna see if its gonna get better in future...
Big problem is his BM as all you said. I didnt know the "rules", but its true I dont know anyone who have problem as us, that we get small one everytime ill. We made him feel better during our week and next time it is same.
I think my BF is scared he coudnt see his son, if he had to wait till he is healthy, she spoiling him also a lot. I can see the different, when he is back from his mum. She even try to get my BF back, when she heard he is not alone anymore - so maybe she trying to splitt us - She know I am pregnant and how dificult is to raise her son especially when he is sick and we had to stay home. His behaviour getting worse every week. He is more tense, miserable :/
He just have hour long tantrum and I am scared I coudnt stand him.
The kindergarden starts already (here in Czech its till 6 years old), but he is half time sick ussually.
This man is showing his true
This man is showing his true nature now that you are in his spider web. Can you return to the UK easily? Preferably before your baby is born so you can get back into your quality life and give your baby the same rather than sacrfice yourself and your baby to this man of no quality or character?
If you can, get it done now.