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Birthday gift

Mschmid02's picture

Submitted by Mschmid02 on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 1:47pm

My boyfriend had his son build me a birdhouse for my birthday gift and excluded my own bio son in the process. I just wasn't that excited about it because it felt coerced by my boyfriend. We have only been together a year and I don't really expect his son to have a strong bond with me. My boyfriend wants me to take on the "mom" role with his son because he doesn't like the way his ex-wife parents. I'm not comfortable with it because I feel like I'm overstepping boundaries. I have my opinions on things, but I don't expect my boyfriend to go along with them when it comes to his child. Recently my boyfriend decided that the gift giving would stop between his kid and ex-wife. Last year he was okay with it despite me disagreeing with this holiday exchange. Now, it's like he is trying to make me take the place of mom when it comes to gift giving. I would rather have his son come up with the idea himself to build me a gift rather than the idea being put in his head. 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 1:53pm

Wait, so your BF has decided it's in his son's best interest to try to cut out his mother and replace her with you? That's called Parental Alienation.  Don't participate in that. 

Mschmid02's picture

Submitted by Mschmid02 on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 1:57pm

Not exactly, they have 50/50 joint custody. In the protection order that was just dropped she tried to say that the Christmas gifts that she received last year were inappropriate and he was trying to harass her when he dropped them off at her front door unexpectedly. Since then he doesn't want to give her any gifts. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 3:07pm

I was referring more to him wanting you to "take the mom role" because he doesn't like how she parents.  The time for him to choose a mother for his children was BEFORE they were born. Now he's stuck with the mother he chose for them. 

As for the gifts, that makes sense. 

Mschmid02's picture

Submitted by Mschmid02 on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 9:22pm

I agree, he has to live with his decisions. I'm not about to take the title of mother away from another woman child. I strongly respect biological ties. If two people came together to create a child then they should respect that child's relationship with each parent. 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 2:01pm

RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!  This is a set up for failure.   Do it at least for the sake of your own bioson.