OT narcissism
Life has been better without the narc, and I am glad I divorced him - I just wanted to say it is not ‘yet’ what i imagined it to be. It certainly isn’t the easy option but I’m free of all the ‘stepkid’ issues - such smart but ‘brainwashed’ (grown up) kids. I hope one day they lead a life that isn’t solely focused on their parents.
The ex is still bumming on other people’s sofas (can’t afford anywhere that meets his expectations) so tries to make me feel guilty.
The problem is, I try not to show it but it does cause me pain if I know someone ‘appears’ to be unhappy. I am going to look into ‘online’ counselling tomorrow. It’s taken a while to accept Covid has changed the way professionals work for the foreseeable future (I will research it first - ‘relate’ in the U.K. seems to be a reputable organisation even for broken up people).
My early Christmas present was this morning my 4 year old daughter saying ‘look,look’ at the snow through the window (she has non verbal autism and this time last year wasn’t saying much at all). So it was a magical moment (I cried) and things are ever so slowly changing for the better.
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It takes awhile
It takes awhile to heal from a break-up. You are wise to persue counseling. I smiled when I read about your daughters response to the snow. Best wishes and I believe next year will be better for you.
It takes time to heal. You
It takes time to heal. You feeling guilty is because you are a caring person. Good on you to realize you need some help. {{{hugs}}}
The magic of snow - what a lovely moment! *give_rose*
Sending you peace and hope
Healing may be slow, let it work and be kind to yourself. Your daughter's progress is a beautiful thing to remind us about what's truly important. Hugs to you both.
I am a mental health
I am a mental health professional, and yes, most of us are doing telehealth instead of in-person visits, but that doesn't mean you can't find a reputable therapist that you can work with (and some are still doing it in person, depending on your region and their office space size).
May I ask why you are still in contact with him? If it's for kids, then keep it to co-parenting only, don't listen to his woes about not being able to find a place to live. If it's not for mutual kids, go no contact with him. Leaving people with narcissistic traits is harder than the usual break-up, since they are so good at love-bombing and playing the victim, both of which make you feel guilty.
My ex did the same thing. He
My ex did the same thing. He tried to blame all of his bad life choices on me. He didn't have a good place to live.. my fault. The kids didn't see him... my fault. Everything is my fault. Don't let it bother you, at all. It is all on him.