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The Worst Part

SloaneMichael's picture

Submitted by SloaneMichael on Wed, 08/26/2020 - 8:06pm

The worst part of all of this is that it makes me feel differently about my spouse. His endless need for attention that interferes with him setting boundaries, his inability or unwillingness to protect or prioritize our relationship, all create tiny fissures in our relationship that undermine it.  It makes me sad. 

Comments

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Wed, 08/26/2020 - 11:20pm

I always thought a woman doesn't know who she really married until she has a baby.  But now that I'm a SM, I think you don't really know who you married until you live with a dad and his bio kids.

surprisestepmother's picture

Submitted by surprisestepmother on Thu, 08/27/2020 - 2:23am

Yeah it grinds my gears when SD is here and my husband miraculously has time to play pretend father to her, but my baby is glued to me 24/7. Hmm....

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Thu, 08/27/2020 - 7:12am

Childhood to set them up to be this way?

Both my therapist and I think there's some event or way he is family functioned that's he's not talking about but is affecting his whole way of handling life. Sometimes we get close to that something but DH won't take the next step. I have no idea what it is but there's always a shield up when talking about childhood feelings and experiences. 

SloaneMichael's picture

Submitted by SloaneMichael on Thu, 08/27/2020 - 6:06pm

I've heard the phrase, "that's how my parents were and I didn't want to be like that", more than a few times with respect to discipline.  Strangely he doesn't credit that upbringing with his own success, he credits his "exceptionalism".