T-giving
So, I made three pies, and a whole delicious thanksgiving feast (because I'm a boss). SD15 proceeds to pick the crusts off of all of the pies. So I sat down and said, "who did this?" DH says, "is it that big of a deal?" I said, "yes, as a matter of fact, it is, who did it?" Of course SD15 denies doing it. So I said, "oh, guess it was the dogs...these aren't fit for human consumption. I threw away the pies and will never make another one while I'm living in this shithole.
Love,
"Towanda"
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well
F that kid
Read my blog
And see how fun it is to be a boss yet have SD decide they wanted to be vegan...as you're pulling dishes out of the oven.
My advice is to stop over-functooning for holidays. Let DH device if SD is there and what the menu should be; then you can prepare but if SD complains then DH should displicne.
Exactly
If he wants his life to be run by teenagers, I will let him have that.
Dang, sorry about the vegan SD! So annoying. My youngest SD is a vegetarian (read: carb/junk-etarian) but she switched to eating meat for Thanksgiving week. Ugh!!!
"is it that big of a deal?"
"is it that big of a deal?"
How effing insulting. You spent time and a lot of work making those pies, of COURSE it's a big deal if somebody picks them to pieces! What kind of an ignorant barbarian does that?
I cancelled our couples therapist soon after
Perpetual gaslighting/minimizing/devaluing/lack of support is not a marriage. It is a source of stress and anxiety and "I can do bad all by myself."
I don't like pie crust either
I don't like pie crust either, but my solution is just to not take a piece of pie. If your DH won't insist on manners from his kid, stop cooking the entire meal for them.
ETA: I just reread it and she picked the crust off all of the pies? The whole pie?! I thought she just picked it off her piece. WTF? That's insane. Your DH is ridiculous.
You got it…
She LIKES crust, so she ate the entire ring of crust off of each pie. But, it's not like it's a big deal...hahahaha.
DH is scared of his children and has a heavy dose of GPS (guilty parent syndrome). So he wants to convince me that it's normal to let his teenage daughter ruin something I made. This is a microcosm of a larger issue but the final straw.
This relationship is not for
This relationship is not for you - this relationship is not for ANYONE if the children are allowed to be that disrespectful.
Right!
My couples therapist said, well if you go for a divorce, you have to be fine with him moving on with someone else. I said, "honestly, I'm fine with him moving on, but I hope I get a phone call with the new girl, so I can warn her." She laughed. I was partially serious.
Well, she has learned from
Well, she has learned from her father that she should just do whatever the hell she wants, who cares if it's disrespectful or flat out wrong.
I wouldn't do a thing for either of them, ever.
Do you want to stay with him or are working on getting out of this one sided relationship?
Exactly.
This is the problem. Thank you, hereiam. It's one thing to deal with disrespect in my relationship with my husband, but another to deal with him teaching the children it is okay to disrespect me. That never ends, even after they have moved out of the house.
Edit (pressed "save" too soon): I am biding my time but ready to move on from this "non-marriage".
Yes, you handled it great.
Yes, you handled it great. Exactly what I would have done too. In fact I had a cookie making situation years ago in which I ended up throwing away all the dough and an entire batch of cookies ready to go into the oven. Right in front of everyone.
I tried cookie making one more time with YSD but after that I gave up and haven't done it since. I make cookies entirely by myself, then give most of them away to friends and neighbors.
The holidays when the SDs are (only YSD now) here I don't make the holiday meal.
That child has been raised
That child has been raised very poorly and your DH shows no interest in making her behave even remotely decently. They are both disrespecting you.
I would have lost my mind.
I would have lost my mind. Destroying something that a) you worked hard on, and b) was intended for the whole family is just beyond the pale. And the fact that making pie crust is an enormous amount of effort is insult to injury. I love that you threw them all away - honestly that was the perfect response. If your husband really didn't see anything wrong with it, he's a moron. If he knew it was effed up and pretended otherwise, he's an asshole.
I wouldn't lift a finger for either of those people again. Ever.