Has anyone been through a divorce trial? How long does it last? Do they start on time? From begining to the final divorce decree what is the time frame.
Seems like a waste of money and a very,very long process.
DH had to go through 2. One to get an illegal divorce thrown out and then one for his actual divorce.
Both of them lasted about 3-4 hrs. The judge took a lot of info and testimony and then came back with his decision a few days later to both attorney's, then we were notified. The lawyer should have a full day on the docket for a trial.
Not sure what you mean from beginning to final decree time frame- there are state statues that you have to meet- for example in my state for no kids you have to be separated for 6 months before you can file, with kids it is one year. After you file it can take 4-6 months for a non-contested divorce. For contested expect a year.
My husband was divorced in another state but from start to finish took just shy of 6 years.
Wow - 6 years? this divorce is in new Jersey, tried mediation 2 times and have a trial date in September. So from our trial date you think another 6 years? Thank you for advising.
We are in NJ too. Where you happy with the outcome or do you regret going to trial? What were the issues that you could not settle in mediation? I heard many couples settles as they head to trial not in this situation.
It all depends on what she fights and how good her lawyer is at clogging up the system. Our BM found an excellent lawyer who just won't DO anything. He winds up pushing everything down the line for MONTHS every single time.
For example- we were in court 5 weeks ago. BM was told to turn over her tax information within 10 days. She STILL hasn't done it. Her lawyer hasn't responded to any of the multiple attempts to get the info. He just won't. He get's away with it every time. It is disturbing.
When children are involved---"the overall case" can last beyond 20 years depending on circumstances. Sooner or later a divorce on paper is granted. But but but,,, The divorce 'case' is just the beginning...
Depends if the ex is a dog on a bone or not. And/or if your bf wants to fight until he is broke.
Your bm cant make it thru mediation. I am so sorry. My dh's could not either. It was a joke.
. IF your bf's ex is hell bent on making her ex pay emotionally and pay financially ---trust me you are in for a very expensive long term battle.
My xdh and I finalized ours approx 2 years from beginning to end. That included child custody with NO child support exchanged.
You will find some people can not stop litigating. It is a window into deeper mental health issues.
I hope your situation comes to a fair and reasonable conclusion sooner than later. Hang in here ok?
During our divorce from before my XW and I first met with an attorney until the court hearing and the divorce being final took about 6mos. We decided to do an uncontested single attorney divorce. She wanted the divorce but balked at being the one to file because of her families long term established position in the community and their Church. She is Catholic, I am not. She wanted me to be the one to file though she was the one to initiate the demise of that marriage and she was the one who wanted the divorce. I refused to file. So... when she went into tears in front of our lawyer I pulled a Quarter out of my pocket, told her to call it in the air and flipped the coin. I won. She divorced me. The attorney advised that I not attend the divorce hearing in front of the Judge. That did not pass my smell test so I was sitting in the gallery when my XW and the attorney walked in front of the Judge. The Judge asked me who I was then asked me to join the proceedings at the front of the court room.
An hour later we walked out with a divorce order that our attorney got the Judge to sign the next day. It is a good thing that I attended. There was some hinky shit going on between the lawyer and my XW that likely would have screwed me if I had not attended. Two months later... the divorce was final and in the books.
There was a lot of drama during the entire course of the divorce period. My XW attempted to go back on the financial offer she had initiated and we had agreed upon. She had told me that all she wanted was the money from a CD she had cashed when we bought our home together. I agreed, immediately went to our bank, had them generate a Cashiers check, closed out joint accounts and opened new accounts of my own and moved all of the remaining money into my accounts. Over the several months before we went to court she got her own attorney, tried to intimidate me into settling, I had to get nasty and provide her and her attorney with notarized copies of her diaries (full of incriminating nauseating detail of her whoring around) and every paper she turned in during the last three years of her University studies... originally in my handwriting. Her attorney fired her and she went back to our original agreement. He was an Adjunct Professor at the Law School of the University she completed her Nursing degree at. Her academic fraud did not sit well with him.
So, 2-3mos of pre attorney escapades, Two-ish months of consults with attorneys. An hour for the hearing. A day for the order to be signed by the judge Two months for the order to be entered into the county records. That two months was meant for anyone who got heartburn over the decree to contest the terms ordered by the Judge.
We really did not have a ton of assets to address the distribution of. ~$20K in cash and investments, a house (~$85K), and $30K given to us by my XILs when my XW graduated with her BS. That $30K was my biggest leverage. She wanted it off of the table, when she played games I informed her to STFU and live up to the agreement she proposed or... everything would go in the pot, every sordid detail of the marriage would become public record, and the Judge would hear it all and decide who got what. That scared the shit out of her. She did not want there to be even a remote possibility that her parents would learn of her adulterous whoring around during the marriage and her cheating on her degree.
She was also pregnant by her geriatric Fortune 500 executive sugar/baby daddy so there was probably some impetus on getting the divorce done before she started showing. Standing in front of a Judge with a noticeable bun in the oven from a man not her husband was not something she would have been comfortable with. If she had force my hand, I would have bared her ass on everything in front of the Judge. She knew it.
So...... I got the house and the $20K, she kept the $30K, she continued to whore around to produce 3 all out of wedlock spawn by two baby daddies all out of wedlock (the first and conceived with a cheat partner while she was cheating on a husband), and at least one more divorce.
I went on finish up my Engineering degree, meet my incredible bride of nearing 26 years, raise a great kid with my wife, and make a great life and pursue world wide adventures with my bride.
Friends that my XW and I had from 30+ years ago will occasionally update me on my XW. She apparently is miserable and pretty much has been for many, many years. ~20 years ago I was at a business lunch when my XW walked in with her DH#2 and their two boys. She spent that whole lunch raging on her DH, grousing at her then young boys, and looked like she had spent the then past 10 years looking like she had been rode hard and put up wet. It was sad. That night I went home to my beautiful amazing bride and thanked her for my incredible life.
I got out cheap and early enough to make an amazing new life with an incredible woman.
No matter how long it may take, if it sets you free from a toxic succubus/incubus stay the course.
DH had to go through 2. One
DH had to go through 2. One to get an illegal divorce thrown out and then one for his actual divorce.
Both of them lasted about 3-4 hrs. The judge took a lot of info and testimony and then came back with his decision a few days later to both attorney's, then we were notified. The lawyer should have a full day on the docket for a trial.
Not sure what you mean from beginning to final decree time frame- there are state statues that you have to meet- for example in my state for no kids you have to be separated for 6 months before you can file, with kids it is one year. After you file it can take 4-6 months for a non-contested divorce. For contested expect a year.
My husband was divorced in another state but from start to finish took just shy of 6 years.
Wow - 6 years? this divorce
Wow - 6 years? this divorce is in new Jersey, tried mediation 2 times and have a trial date in September. So from our trial date you think another 6 years? Thank you for advising.
I am in NJ and it took my DH
I am in NJ and it took my DH a year. Mediation for 6 months did not work so 6 months later was the trial date and was done in about an hour.
We are in NJ too. Where you
We are in NJ too. Where you happy with the outcome or do you regret going to trial? What were the issues that you could not settle in mediation? I heard many couples settles as they head to trial not in this situation.
It all depends on what she
It all depends on what she fights and how good her lawyer is at clogging up the system. Our BM found an excellent lawyer who just won't DO anything. He winds up pushing everything down the line for MONTHS every single time.
For example- we were in court 5 weeks ago. BM was told to turn over her tax information within 10 days. She STILL hasn't done it. Her lawyer hasn't responded to any of the multiple attempts to get the info. He just won't. He get's away with it every time. It is disturbing.
same siuation here. exactly.
same siuation here. exactly. what is BM?
BM---birth mom
BM---birth mom
When children are involved---
When children are involved---"the overall case" can last beyond 20 years depending on circumstances. Sooner or later a divorce on paper is granted. But but but,,, The divorce 'case' is just the beginning...
Depends if the ex is a dog on a bone or not. And/or if your bf wants to fight until he is broke.
Your bm cant make it thru mediation. I am so sorry. My dh's could not either. It was a joke.
. IF your bf's ex is hell bent on making her ex pay emotionally and pay financially ---trust me you are in for a very expensive long term battle.
My xdh and I finalized ours approx 2 years from beginning to end. That included child custody with NO child support exchanged.
You will find some people can not stop litigating. It is a window into deeper mental health issues.
I hope your situation comes to a fair and reasonable conclusion sooner than later. Hang in here ok?
We are here to vent to or ask questions.
GoodLuck
.
Thank you..children are all
Thank you..children are all spoiked adults
During our divorce from
During our divorce from before my XW and I first met with an attorney until the court hearing and the divorce being final took about 6mos. We decided to do an uncontested single attorney divorce. She wanted the divorce but balked at being the one to file because of her families long term established position in the community and their Church. She is Catholic, I am not. She wanted me to be the one to file though she was the one to initiate the demise of that marriage and she was the one who wanted the divorce. I refused to file. So... when she went into tears in front of our lawyer I pulled a Quarter out of my pocket, told her to call it in the air and flipped the coin. I won. She divorced me. The attorney advised that I not attend the divorce hearing in front of the Judge. That did not pass my smell test so I was sitting in the gallery when my XW and the attorney walked in front of the Judge. The Judge asked me who I was then asked me to join the proceedings at the front of the court room.
An hour later we walked out with a divorce order that our attorney got the Judge to sign the next day. It is a good thing that I attended. There was some hinky shit going on between the lawyer and my XW that likely would have screwed me if I had not attended. Two months later... the divorce was final and in the books.
There was a lot of drama during the entire course of the divorce period. My XW attempted to go back on the financial offer she had initiated and we had agreed upon. She had told me that all she wanted was the money from a CD she had cashed when we bought our home together. I agreed, immediately went to our bank, had them generate a Cashiers check, closed out joint accounts and opened new accounts of my own and moved all of the remaining money into my accounts. Over the several months before we went to court she got her own attorney, tried to intimidate me into settling, I had to get nasty and provide her and her attorney with notarized copies of her diaries (full of incriminating nauseating detail of her whoring around) and every paper she turned in during the last three years of her University studies... originally in my handwriting. Her attorney fired her and she went back to our original agreement. He was an Adjunct Professor at the Law School of the University she completed her Nursing degree at. Her academic fraud did not sit well with him.
So, 2-3mos of pre attorney escapades, Two-ish months of consults with attorneys. An hour for the hearing. A day for the order to be signed by the judge Two months for the order to be entered into the county records. That two months was meant for anyone who got heartburn over the decree to contest the terms ordered by the Judge.
We really did not have a ton of assets to address the distribution of. ~$20K in cash and investments, a house (~$85K), and $30K given to us by my XILs when my XW graduated with her BS. That $30K was my biggest leverage. She wanted it off of the table, when she played games I informed her to STFU and live up to the agreement she proposed or... everything would go in the pot, every sordid detail of the marriage would become public record, and the Judge would hear it all and decide who got what. That scared the shit out of her. She did not want there to be even a remote possibility that her parents would learn of her adulterous whoring around during the marriage and her cheating on her degree.
She was also pregnant by her geriatric Fortune 500 executive sugar/baby daddy so there was probably some impetus on getting the divorce done before she started showing. Standing in front of a Judge with a noticeable bun in the oven from a man not her husband was not something she would have been comfortable with. If she had force my hand, I would have bared her ass on everything in front of the Judge. She knew it.
So...... I got the house and the $20K, she kept the $30K, she continued to whore around to produce 3 all out of wedlock spawn by two baby daddies all out of wedlock (the first and conceived with a cheat partner while she was cheating on a husband), and at least one more divorce.
I went on finish up my Engineering degree, meet my incredible bride of nearing 26 years, raise a great kid with my wife, and make a great life and pursue world wide adventures with my bride.
Friends that my XW and I had from 30+ years ago will occasionally update me on my XW. She apparently is miserable and pretty much has been for many, many years. ~20 years ago I was at a business lunch when my XW walked in with her DH#2 and their two boys. She spent that whole lunch raging on her DH, grousing at her then young boys, and looked like she had spent the then past 10 years looking like she had been rode hard and put up wet. It was sad. That night I went home to my beautiful amazing bride and thanked her for my incredible life.
I got out cheap and early enough to make an amazing new life with an incredible woman.
No matter how long it may take, if it sets you free from a toxic succubus/incubus stay the course.