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Cant get a motion or trial date

secondwife1234's picture

Hello All -

My fiance after three years still cant settle his divorce . His wife will not arbitarte, go to mediation or settle fairly. Even after he agreed to pay her legal fees. She wants 60 percent of their assets and evaluated his biz 500 percent more than what its worth.

She is very bitter and angry. She gets a HUGE amount of Pendi Lite every month plus my Finace pays for all her bills. Homes, cars, Insurance medical. He was trying to be a nice guy but now that she is more brutal and has it easy she wont budge.

They still have a joint checking account and all their savings are frozen by the court. We want to move out of the marital home bc its for sale and we were to be out in 30 days but she wont release the money.

The problem is the judge is sick of this "rich" problem when there is so much domestic violence. Although this is emotional abuse.

The judge just delayed a motion until May and he cant even get a trial date.

What would happen if he voluntarily stopped paying pendi lite. What can he do do make her want to arbittare or settle.

Its really not fair. Three years and can be another 3 due to covid and the courts closed/

She needs to be miserable and frustrated enough to want to settle or arbirate.

Ideas?

ESMOD's picture

His lawyer is going to be the one who can give him ideas on how to proceed.  

The only thought I might have is that it could help the "optics" with his EX if you were to exit the picture.. even if it were only temporary.   Move out... stop seeing him while he gets his situation cleaned up.

She is using all her power over him to skewer your plans to get married.. she is bitter.. she is angry.. and she is using every available means to slow and ruin the process.  Rememeber.. her half is frozen too... she apparently is perfectly happy to cut her own nose off to spite him.

justmakingthebest's picture

I agree. I often thought about having DH move out, or have a fake address and telling "social media" that we broke up. BM went crazy after DH and I got together even though it was 2 years after she left the state. They were NOT together in anyway. DH wouldn't do it. He said he wasn't going to give her the control. 

It was a miserable 3 years of us being together and BM postponing, drawing out, delaying- everything you can imagine on the divorce process. I think if BM thought that DH was single and hadn't moved on that she would have agreed to things much quicker. 

tog redux's picture

If he stops paying, he will owe it all in arrears, maybe with interest, and could be on the hook for her attorney's fees - but run that one by your attorney.

OP - I dated DH while he was separated and his divorce was bitter and drawn out too. We did plan to get married once it was final. But I'd be wary of calling him your "fiance" when he's still married to another woman. It won't help BM's bitterness and it may affect how your SO is viewed in court.

I'm not sure what else he can do other than get a better attorney.  I wouldn't stop paying everything entirely, but he could pay less and claim poverty, maybe that would move BM along. I think with COVID it will be drawn out even more and there isn't much you can do.

Even though I myself did date a separated man, this is one of the hazards of it.

scm444's picture

What is the reasoning as to why the motion was delayed until May and what is the reasoning as to why he can't get a trial date?!  

secondwife1234's picture

courts backed up due to them closing due to covid and domestic violence cases come first.