The Day SD Just Showed Up (long)
Here you go, Petronella. It is not that exciting of a story but....
To get it out of the way, SD28 has NEVER had a key to my house. I've been in her life since she was 5 but she has never lived with us, I would never trust her with a key, and we have always lived at least 30 minutes away, so there has never been a reason for her to be here when we're not home. No popping in after school, or whatnot.
So, this was when she was 17, and she had already stopped coming over for visitation but she and DH talked a lot on the phone. She really hadn't been interested in seeing him..... until she got a boyfriend. Well, BM got her a boyfriend, she set her up with the son of one of her swinger partners (or something, that's another story).
Anyway, SD really wanted to show off this boyfriend (no idea why, he was an idiot). She was going to marry him, so I guess she wanted to do the my-dad-meets-future-husband thing. I think it made her feel grown up. Maybe she wanted his approval, although I doubt that was it.
She tells DH, "I think I'm bringing Idiot BF over on such-and-such day." DH tells her that she HAS to call before hand, as his work schedule was erratic and he worked a lot of weekends, so there was a good chance he would be working on such-and-such day. I believe she said that BM would bring them, drop them off, and go visit her cousin, while we gave Idiot BF the once over. Again, DH stressed that she had to call ahead of time to let him know for sure, to make sure that he didn't have to work and that we would be home.
Didn't hear another peep about it. So, one Sunday, I was sitting around, DH was at work, and there was a knock on the door. I had no idea who it was because we don't have a peephole, the window in the door is above my head, and from my living room windows, you usually can't see who is on the porch. I saw a mini van in the street but couldn't see who was in it and, although, I had no idea what BM drove, I had a feeling that was who it was. The oxygen level felt lower and since she sucks all of the oxygen out of the air, everywhere she goes, it made sense that it was her.
I was irritated, to no end, that SD just showed up when her dad told her NOT to do that (and I didn't feel well), so I didn't answer the door. I had a sneaking suspicion that SD would go to my backyard and climb the steps to my deck to look through my kitchen window. You can see into the living room from that window but it's about 10ft off of the ground, it's not like you can casually walk by the window.
My first thought was to get out of her line of sight but then I thought, screw it, and I sat down in the chair, where she would have the best view of me, and watched TV. She was going through a lot of trouble, after all. She had no business peaking in my windows so fine, let her see that I was home and just not answering the door. The important thing was, her dad was not home and she knew it. He would have answered the door. He might not have let her in, but he would have opened it.
After several minutes, I looked out the window to see the mini van drive up the street. Good, they're gone.
A few minutes later, there's a knock on the door. The mini van is back! The phone rings, I'm guessing it's her (unknown number). Oh, now she calls. I didn't answer that, either, I was really getting annoyed. Take a hint. She didn't leave a message, say, "Hey, I'm on your porch, are you home?", "Hey, I stopped by," nothing. She finally left.
The next time she called DH, she totally set his ass up. It really pissed me off because she was using this sing-song voice, just really so proud of herself for catching DH in a lie. I felt kind of responsible, as I didn't tell DH that she had more than likely looked through the window and saw that I was home. So, when she asked him what I did that day (in that stupid voice because she knew full well I had been home), he told her I went shopping. He thought he was covering for me, not answering the door, but the thing is, I DID NOT CARE if she knew that I was home. It is MY prerogative to not answer the door when I don't know for sure who's on the other side of it. I never did actually see her.
So, she admitted to looking through the window and seeing that I was home. DH told her so what? He had told her to call before she came over, she was lucky the neighbors didn't call the police.
She told him that she did call before she came, and that she left a message. Well, first of all, she did not call until she was already here, and she didn't leave a message. And, seriously, had she called ahead of time and nobody answered the phone, what about that says, "Come on over, we're home,"? Leaving a message would have been irrelevant.
Just a bunch of bullshit. Why not call? Why not just admit you were rude and showed up without calling? No, she had to keep up with this facade that she was in the right, that she called, that she left a message. Well, the point of calling, was to verify that her dad was home BEFORE coming over, so nothing she was claiming, at this point, even made any sense.
THEN, she tells DH that I had obviously deleted her message. WHAT? I heard this and flat out called her a liar. I couldn't believe she even said that. I would never do that, have never done it, even when DH's sister-that-I-can't-stand calls. I don't hate my SD or even dislike her, I have never had a reason to delete a message from her.
SD hears me call her a liar and says to DH, "Are you gonna let her talk to me like that?" To which DH said, "SHE is not the one who is lying, so yeah."
She never did THAT again. What was weird, was she never mentioned Idiot BF (she did marry him), so I don't know if he was with her or not, or why she really came over. Maybe just to prove that she could, without calling? Joke was on her.
Whew, this turned out to be really long but you wanted details!
Now, she's married to a different loser, a criminal, actually, and she wants to bring him over to our house. That is a HARD NO.
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Comments
This could be an example for
This could be an example for other men on here to study:
Seems obvious to me, but these are all the things that make for a successful step situation.
My SS also did not and does not have a key and never will, barring a brain transplant or BM's death.
Yes, it helps to have a
Yes, it helps to have a husband who is a realist when it comes to his daughter (AND his ex).
Yes, indeed. It's the only
Yes, indeed. It's the only reason I'm still here.
This post made me smile, good
This post made me smile, good for you HereIam! I bet next time she'll think twice of coming by unannounced.
She never did it again.
She never did it again. However, she and her ex husband thought that time belonged to them only, and showed up over an hour late to a planned get together at our house. I was so pissed. When they did show up, they stayed in the car to eat the fast food that they had stopped to get, on the way. You know, on the way to somewhere in which they were late to begin with.
The next time we invited them over, they were, again, running over an hour late. She finally called and said they were on their way (at least a 30 minute drive, if not more). DH told her, "Never mind, don't come over, I have to do laundry." SD was pissed!
Lol I love that you sat there
Lol I love that you sat there watching t.v. giving zero f@cks that she saw you!