She sounds a rather nasty piece of work.  My advice is to block her on email, let your DH handle her.   Make DH do a dish of non garlicky mash - I don't mind garlic but I wouldn't put it in mashed potatoes, the flavour is too delicate to be overwhelmed with garlic.  A bit of butter and black pepper.  I'm so glad we don't have Thanksgiving here in the UK - another drama opportunity for the SKIDs.  

sd or hubby??

Let her bring her garlicky potatoes and make a batch of regular ones.

Next year, don't host or don't invite her.  People are so rude.

Did you bring up the garlic first or did she? Just wondering if your bringing it up made her obsess on the garlic? If that was the case you should've specified "NO Traditional salt/pepper/butter/milk recipe potatoes, please".

Your DH wants to cancel over garlic mashed potatoes? Can't he tell his DD to zip it and move on?

Fine, Thanksgiving canceled. You and your husband celebrate it on your own. Less work for you and you don't have to put up with the others.

Also, it's funny that she has to add garlic to her mashed potatoes to keep them from tasting like cardboard. I don't think I would want her bringing anything that she has to cook.

Wow, this seems like a huge overreaction on everyone's part.

Why did you ask for no garlic? Is someone allergic, or do you just not like it? If someone is allergic, fair request. If someone just doesn't like it, then make a batch sans garlic, or ask SD to make two batches (it's not hard).

SD and DH both went overboard with their responses. My guess is "like father, like daughter".

I just don't see how mashed potatoes escalated to this without there being more to the story.

I am in the "this isn't about the garlic/potato" group.

Honestly, I do come down on your SD's side when it comes to her bringing a side dish.  Garlic mashed potatoes are a perfectly normal side dish.. it isn't like she wanted to bring pineapple mashed potatoes.  Garlic is a seasoning that a lot of people might include in that dish. I mean, maybe not in an overwhelming amount.. but it isn't heresy.

Now, if there is an outright ALLERGY issue.  Sure... OH.. SD.. Aunt Betty will be there and she is allergic to garlic.. can you make the potatoes without?  But, it sounds like this is really more of a preference.

I mean.. I can see her putting her back up.. she is assigned a task and then someone wants to micromanage HOW she does it.. and they want her to do it THEIR way.. which she doesn't think is going to be as good.. so why does she want to bring a dish that she thinks will be a flop?  

And... even if someone doesn't like garlic.. it's not like there wouldn't be a ton of other things on the table at thanksgiving to eat.  I mean.. there are things my MIL makes that I don't care for.. but I can certainly be full and eat around them.

Fighting over garlic vs no garlic in the potatoes.. to the point that your husband wants to cancel?  That is really too far.

You know you can buy premade mashed potatoes plane for a few bucks in the grocery store.. SD  could have made the ones she wanted.. and you could still have had a no garlic option.. for less than 10 bucks avoided a nuclear meltdown.

So.. yeah.. this has nothing to do with the side dish.

This could have easily been avoided but it sounds like with the relationships as they are, it would have been something no matter what.

Yep, which is why I would be fine with canceling it.

Add me to the "not about potatoes" group. There is MUCH more going on than a bloody side dish unless someone has a serious garlic allergy and SD knows it and is plotting to hospitalize/kill them with taters.

Mashed potatoes are easy to make and you can even buy already-made ones, so there is more going on. Especially when your DH's response is to cancel Thanksgiving dinner.

Im certain there is more to this than mashed potatoes with garlic (I sometimes do mashed with garlic, but was raised on creaminess, so anything that makes it lumpy is a no go).

So - please, give us a taste of the backstory? No garlic necessary!

Hind sight my ass!  Do not second guess yourself.  SD is the moron in this situation.

Follow DH's lead and cancel.  Go on a trip for TG and let SD enjoy her garlic mashed potatoes.

Make sure to send lots of pics of  your amazing trip with DH and the gourmet TG feast at a Michelin star event with particular focus on the amazing Chef prepared potatoes............ sans garlic.

poverbial "other shoe dropping." There's always another "dum-dmum-DUM!!!!" dramatic moment with these SDs. If you had suggested wine, that would be turned into an emotional warfare challenge.

Go to a great restaurant, and forget the drama queen, but make no mistake, this is not about potatoes or garlic. It's strictly a power play by the emotionally handicapped diva.

If you have this dynamic, like many of us; it just happened to be the mashed potatoes, this time. However, it would be something, anything that could be used to call attention, create issues and milk for drama.  I bet most of us can relate to other scenerios, even if mashed potatoes are not involved, if we are dealing with this sick SD familial dysfunction with dadeeee.

What the H- is wrong with a host or hostess asking someone else to bring potatoes with no garlic?  Answer: Nothing.  Both my sister and brother (and I'm sure everyone elses) asks me to bring specific dishes all the time to Holiday events.  Why did SD get upset?  Because she is a be.atch.  There are at least 100 ways to make good-tasting potatoes without garlic.  How easy.  Has SD done similar in the past: I'm sure.  I'm sure this is why hubby wants to cancel.  He's sick of this battle and all of the others.

What does SM need to do?  Let husband cancel.  Seriously.  He can tell everyone this year he decided to hand over the torch to the next generation.   That way, they'll be in the host(ess) position and will be able to experience the comes-around of: What goes around, comes around.

But asking her for NO garlic and her bring garlic mashed potatoes. Just shows no respect to you and your home.  That simple.  

So - its been 4 loooooong days, and no backstory and no response!

I love garlic but I'm sort of garlic intolerant. If I have too much fresh garlic I will be miserable with the runs the next day. I totally understand the sensitivity/allergy thing. 

To include something that you specifically asked not to, and is easy to avoid was a total bitch move on her part. There are a million ways to make potatoes and she chose to make some that were specifically against your reasonable request. 

I would be so proud of my DH for canceling if some guest pulled that crap. Just opt out of the whole celebration if you already know someone is trying to make drama. FFS you don't need that kind of passive aggressive shit. 

I solved my problem with the holidays---disengaged! One year, I asked an adult stepdaufghter to bring mashed potatoes. We were eating at 1 pm. She showed up, at 1 pm, and handed me a small bag of raw potaites! Needless to say, no mashed potatoes that year. Passive aggressive! Glad i'm done with them!