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I wonder why?

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Sun, 06/09/2019 - 8:58am

OSS and DS are graduating HS and off to colleges in the fall. DH made an interesting comment. Rather than focus on OSS having better grades than DS and having that make him better and more capable, DH surprised me. He said that DS will do better in general because he has more life skills than OSS. 

In my head: I wonder why? [with lots of sarcasm and frustration]

So now, at the end, when hindsight is 20/20, perhaps he can admit that all the stuff I “made” DS do as he grew up actually prepared DS to be an adult and wasn’t “mean.” That it was parenting.

I wonder if he sees he could have parented more. I think not because of two other recent “but I made them” memories he has stated when that’s not how it happened, he didn’t make them and there were other reasons they did the things. I wonder if that’s why he’s chagrined his kid isn’t as life-ready, maybe with his modified memories he thinks he did more parenting. 

Comments

STaround's picture

Submitted by STaround on Sun, 06/09/2019 - 11:31am

Never a good idea to compare kids (bio, step or whatever).

My personal opinion -- you can learn life skills in one week, it is what you want to do.

As to school, I am far more concerned about the difficultity of courses.  Would rather my kid get a B+ in Calc BC than an A in Math for Retail Employees.  This will take far more than a week to make up. 

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Sun, 06/09/2019 - 12:12pm

No kids were around. 

They all take rigorous courses and all at or above a 3.0. So academically they will do fine. 

I agree the kids can learn skills (and hygiene). But when it’s not taught and not necessary because it’s all done for you, then you won’t have them and maybe not see a reason to acquire them. 

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

Submitted by DHsfamilyfromhell on Sun, 06/09/2019 - 11:33am

I would accidentally stumble into a jewellery store when there is a nice sale on “just looking” “oh that’s lovely”, bat eyelids. Job done. Men can be useless at recognition. 

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Sun, 06/09/2019 - 12:17pm

I did it once in a jewelry store while we were dating and he came with me when I took something in for cleaning. He bought the thing secretly that I had admired in passing. 

Since we got married I could be licking the glass case and it wouldn’t register. I have had to point blank tell him what I wanted, that I was hoping he would take the hint but he didn’t so I’m telling him, and his response was: that’s okay with me if you want to get it. 

He has gotten slightly better after I explained that if I bought it myself and people admire it that I will tell them how I got it including trying to hint around for him to get it and having to buy it myself.