I have disengaged from SD14, and things have been great. The less attention I give her the nicer she is to me, but I won't fall for that trap. I'm always very cordial and friendly, but I never go out of my way or basically do anything for her. Its been really nice and there has been ZERO fighting between FDH and I. She is actually coming for a visit on Thursday and I am not 1000% dreading it, which is a nice change of pace.

I have decided I have to extend my disengagement to stepdog. Stepdog is a sweet dog. She is elder and mostly low key. However, FDH feeds her too much and she is officially obese. With that and her age, her walking has gone down hill significantly the past 6 months and she has started to having random peeing accidents (she literally stands and pees) in the house. FDH and I argue about her weight constantly. He had to take her to the vet on Friday (I refused to take her), for her third ear hematoma in 6 weeks, where the vet berated him for 40 minutes about how fat she is. The vet said basically everything I've been saying for months but, for whatever reason, now he's 'serious' about her diet plan. What a typical pattern us SMs are used to! Since we fight about stepdogs 'health plan' I no longer partake in anything involving the feeding or medicating of the stepdog. I used to and would get scolded for not feeding her enough or not doing something a specific way. So fack it, I ain't doing it. Hopefully disengagement with stepdog will be the same as SD (except I will always rub and love on old lady stepdog because she is a good doggo).

For those of you struggling with the disengagement thing. Please, please try. For your own sainty. SD was taking up so much valuable head space and it is so nice to have that back and control of my thoughts again. Anytime they do something stupid, just go, huh, and walk away. I sometimes pretend I'm watching the circus. I leave FDH directly in all line of fire.

Don't be a meat shield for anyone!

Happy Monday!