Can't see how we move forward
We own a business which we inherited from my father in law, SS30 works for this business and i do the accounting. A few years back we decided that we would give SS30 the business so he can earn the profits rather than us and i will just take a set salary per week.
Sadly SS30 is lazy, he just about earns the business enough money to pay the bills and and me and then not much lef for himself, BUT and the big but is SS30 moans because i earn from the business and he doesn't but this is because he sits on facebook and chatting to his girlfriend on the phone yet somehow it is my fault he doesn't earn much.
BM and the other SD21 go on and on and make out i am taking money from him, no i am taking my salary! I am so fed up of being the bad person because SS30 cannot stand on his own 2 feet and work hard. I live on edge that i am going to get a text message or some contact that blames me for something!
SD21 has recently made it clear that she doesn't feel part of our family and has no interest in me or our son who is 8 years old. We have been together for 12 years and even when they were kids it wasn't this bad, BM was our issue then and now we has SK issues.
Ive told hubby that i need to distance myself from them a i can't take it anymore but he says he is stuck in the middle. I am just cant see how we move forward, i have to replace my salary with another job and let it go altogether as i know that will eliminate one issue but these kids are in my life forever an i just don't know how to handle that!!!
Get a new job and let SS30
Get a new job and let SS30 (sadly) run the business into the ground.
Tell DH you will be blocking the skids from any contact with you (and BM, if for some reason she has contact with you) and will leave it to him to communicate with them. And that you do not want to hear anything about how they blame you or hate you or anything - he can keep that to himself.
Why do you care how you move forward with SS
You already know you can not. Better then you being blamed for business failing. What it will
I wonder what SS will do when
I wonder what SS will do when he realizes that he will have to pay another accountant to do your job and he still wont be rich. SMDH.......
Any way you and DH can take back the company from SS? He obviously isn't cut out for business ownership and might be relieved to turn it back over.
As for moving forward, the age gap between and skids and your 8yo is enormous at this stage. They might be able to forge some kind of respect for each other as adults but for now don't push one. Recognize everyone involved as who they are now and put forth your efforts and energy to the ones who are receptive. Let DH handle all things to do with skids.
How do you move forward?
How do you move forward? Well things don't seem to be super great right now.. so I think as the kids are adults.. I would try to be neutral and somewhat disengaged. Let your DH manage the kid's relationships.
But, you already know that the situation with the business isn't good. A way to proceed might be as follows.
SS, I understand that it's been difficult for you financially with the business not generating the income you were hoping it would. I feel that you see my salary as unfair because it means I get income from the business while you don't. I think the best thing going forward will be to separate family from your business. That way, you will be free to distribute the company earnings the way you think is most effective. So, I am going to go ahead and find a position for myself with another company. You can either do the book keeping yourself, or hire someone else to do that for you. I think this is best to avoid hard feelings in the family. I wish you the best of luck.
^^This^^
But find a new position before you have this talk with SS, and make sure your H presents a united front to SS.
Who knows? Maybe when you're
Who knows? Maybe when you're out of the business, things will get better with the skids. I doubt it, but they will definitely get better for you.
Family businesses are ALWAYS a nightmare. You don't need to be part of this. I guess when you have a new job, you'll disengage from this mess and be so grateful you did. Get out now and see how things change.
Don't move forward with the
Don't move forward with the Skids. They are adults. Let them crash and burn. Keep working for the business if you choose but make damned sure you are paying yourself a fair salary. In fact, demand a raise as you look for another opportunity. When you move on this will come crashing down around their lazy ears.
When that happens have fun playing the "I told you so" cards.
Take care of you.
F them. They will reap what the sow.