Obituary questions.
Anyone have trouble writing an obituary with a blended family? I was helping a friend whose husband passed away. He had 3 kids from 2 ex girlfriends. They have two children together. Basically a mess because the older ones probably visited like 4 times to their home. Their kids together don't like the older ones the few times they met. Yet one of them wants the (ex) mother mentioned, crazy but yes. He wasn't close to the older kids, and many of their aquaintances didn't know about those kids. He was irresponsible when he was young, but got his life together in his late 30's. They were married about 20 years. In the Obit she ended up talking about his life, where he worked, hobbies. As for survivors she put herself (Jane), and put "their children" without using names...and so on.
Anyone experience this, or trouble at the funeral? The funeral was private, no exes were invited so that went smoothly. Also, aren't more people skipping obits since they are costly? Odd to me that they think they would have a say after he dies, but ignored her for 20 years, lol. I told her not to be surprised if they ask for an inheritance or other stuff.
Weddings, funerals, holidays
Weddings, funerals, holidays - they're all more complicated in step life. And they can often turn into a poopshow.
I think it would have been correct to list all of the children (survived by his loving wife X and children A, B, C, D, E, etc). Listing former f@ck buddies, baby mamas, etc is not appropriate, but some trashy people like to milk every drop of drama out of life events.
lol
No baby mamas or FBs. lol To me it sounded just fine, and since he had a large famly she didn't list those names as well. She put "many extended" family. Long story. Yep same ole sh*t show! It's made me think of my situation...I'll skip the obit all together. Though knowing DH's family they'll spin off some version to milk it...
His children
should have been mentioned each by name. I am not close to my much older half sister (we haven't even spoken in 7 plus years) but when our dad died I wrote the obituary and she was mentioned first as the oldest. I am big on etiquette. Hell, I even listed my ex husband and his wife on my son's wedding invitation despite the fact that they contributed nothing to the wedding and chose not to attend. But there they were in the parents section of the invitation. My grandmother would come back and haunt me if I failed to follow proper protocols for weddings or funerals.
I say do what you feel is
I say do what you feel is right for you. Every person, culture, religion and family will have their own opinion. Too personal to say what someone else should do.
It's done now. And since the
It's done now. And since the obit was written by his current wife I suppose nothing to stop her from saying and/or omitting anything she pleases.
In my area newspapers print small obituaries free. These cover the basics. Anyone wishing to expand upon more than basics (born, career, any military, married, died, survived by naming spouse, all children he spawned and his siblings/parents) must pay additional fee.
Where I have read deceased spouse info in obits, and things like "survived by special friend so&so" and such, I can't say I've ever read one that named the ex GFs/BFs (regardless of breeding habit together) just to name her/him.
I'd be more concerned about things like whether the gentleman had a will , pre-marriage touchable assets et.
Funeral Directors will assist
Funeral Directors will assist.
It is up to the current husband/wife to gather info to help organize the obit for paper distribution. . IF both are deceased then the adult kids will work with Funeral Director.
I've actually seen ex wives
I've actually seen ex wives listed alot and I find that odd enough. I dont see any reason you would list a baby mama at all though since they were never related legally at any point.