Ok, so I know last time people thought I was wrong for how I felt about the situation with BM, but today I really do need to vent and blow off steam.

Contempt of custody hearing was today. Even though DH requested me to come in to be a potential witness, they denied it, even though it says you can bring other parties if you feel it will be helpful. So all of this is coming from what DH said happened.

DH paid these fees, filed and served the papers....and what happens? Visitation gets REDUCED! It wasn't even a judge who heard the case, but an attorney. He asked DH why he was there, then asked BM what SHE wanted. Um....I thought the purpose of this hearing was to deal with the fact that BM has not been communicating, not providing information, not working out other arrangements for when she says SS "can't" come....if she wanted modifications to the visitation, why shouldn't SHE have had to file for that? Why does she get to use the trouble DH went through to get this hearing just to get her way?!?

Which is what happened....when she said she wanted it changed from 2 overnight visits per week to every other weekend instead, the attorney said "OK" !!!! Then he added that SS could visit every Thursday for 4 hours. The problem with this is that when the issue of transportation was brought up, and DH said that since he is now ordered to pick SS up for visits every time, and BM pick him up for the return home, my DH explained that it would take a 2 hour trip on the bus before SS would get here...and then BM would be picking him up in just 2 hours if visitation was changed to 4 hours on Thursdays. Mr. Attorney said "Oh well". Not even considering what DH wanted, just BM! Mr. Attorney said DH could take SS to the movies or park or something, and DH said he is not familiar with the town BM lives in at all. Mr. Attorney simply said "Learn". DH also said that the whole purpose of SS coming HERE for visits is so that DH doesn't have to spend time away from me and our children. The original judge who heard the case understood this, and that's why visits were ordered to be here. But Mr. Attorney just said to deal with it and work it out. BM said a long time ago (before DH sued for custody) that if DH "really" wanted to see SS, she only wanted DH to spend time with him in her town, on her turf, for a short time. So this is exactly what she had fought for, and now I'm sure she'll think she's even more justified for telling DH to do that!

Now when it came to the contempt, Mr. Attorney said he would not find her in it! Any point DH brought up was shot right back down. He said that since the judge hadn't listed specific days for the custody, BM wasn't really in contempt. But what about the fact that SS didn't come ANY two days a week, heck~ didn't come for 2 and a half months, even 3 sometimes? And when DH went to pick him up, BM said SS wasn't there? Attorney said there was "no" proof that SS hadn't visited. DH brought out emails where BM specifically says that SS will not visit, where she verbally abuses DH, and her name and his are clearly listed on them, as are the dates and times they were sent. Attorney will not even LOOK at them, just says that they are not admissable and DH needs to get them "approved" by an attorney in order to use them. Even when it came to the holidays, and there WAS a specific day and time it said SS should be here, and BM sent emails telling DH that he just would NOT get SS at that time, because she didn't agree....the attorney still said it didn't matter that she knew the specific times because we had no proof that SS didn't visit! He said DH needed to file police reports if SS didn't visit, and DH said he had actually filed before, and the attorney said YES, he saw the report......soooo???....attorney says it's "just one". Well that still means it is on record that BM didn't want to let SS visit! But it didn't matter to this attorney!

There's more, but suffice to say that it went in BM's favor....she gets $1525 in one month but then doesn't let DH speak to or see SS for over two months~ where is the justice in that? It's crap!! She can ignore phone calls, yell and call DH and me names...and she walked out of court today with her head held high, UGH!! Attorney said that it can be appealed after we get the papers within 2 weeks and DH already told him right there that we will, we contest this. I'm not sure how we'll fight it....I really, REALLY wish we could find an attorney we can afford. Does anyone have ANY advice how to do this a little better? I feel like we were just morally raped again.