... if you ask me. Re-reading tidbits if your original blog, my heart goes out to you and I am relieved for you - that man is not a good husband to you and treats you like sh*t!

That said, I am so sorry you're going through this. Please take good care of yourself.

You didn't have to do anything.  It's no reflection of you but of him.  From what I've read once a narc finds another source of supply they move on.  Pretty cold but they don't have the capacity to be empathetic so don't beat yourself up trying to figure out what happened.  Read up on NPD as I really think you'll find it fits your situation and it may help you gain some semblance of understanding how his leaving may wind up being a blessing in disguise.   Living with someone with NPD can be a nightmare.   Just curious, you mentioned in an earlier post that you suspected he had NPD - did you mention this to him?  They usually look for someone else to be their ego supply source once their present source finds out who they really are.  I'm sorry you're going through all of this.   

You just received a death row pardon....yep blessing in disguise.

He has a personality disorder either BPD or NPD. There is no rhyme or reason with these people as they also don’t seek treatment. I know it hurts but you should rejoice in your new freedom. People with personality disorders are impossible to have relationship with 

What a peach he is! I know it hurt, but consider yourself lucky you got away without having any children with him.  Finalize the divorce quickly and block him entirely in every way you can.

Get some therapy if you are doubting that this is for the best. Just the way that he left says that he had no real feelings for you, and no empathy. Figure out how to avoid getting involved with a narcissistic person again.

Take care of yourself. 

This is truly a blessing in disguise.  Do not beat yourself up over someone like this.  Yes, you will feel confused and hurt, but that is exactly what the Narc wants.  It was never YOU or anything YOU did. You fell for a vampire.  RUN LIKE HELL and maintain "no contact." Don't be surprised if he comes back only to try and play the yo yo game.  Don't do it!!  If anything, learn about yourself.  Ask yourself why you attracted a Narc (most who do are very kind, giving people to the extreme).  

Malignant Self Love was written by a narcissist. One of the first and best books out there on NPD. I was in a very short-term relationship with one and knew nothing about NPD.  This really helped me.  http://www.gorgelink.org/freebooks/vaknin/MSL2excerpts.pdf

Do all that they say but also realize this is only the beginning for him. He’s found a new supply but Narcs keep old supplies dangling along with a hot-cold treatment. Leaving you like this is to keep you feeling confused and guessing what you did wrong so when he comes back needing some supply he can give you a laundry list of what he wants you to do. You will do them thinking he will come back but then he’ll leave again and come back later with another list. The cycle will continue. Go cold turkey on him now and only speak to him through lawyers. 

I’m sorry this happened and I’m sure you feel confused and devastated.  But it truly is a blessing if you look beyond the immediate future. How he did this is cruel.  My dad once decided seemingly out of the blue to leave my mom one Christmas morning without warning- just packed his things and left.  They got back together for about 5 years after that and then one day while she was at work he packed his things and left her a note, and that was the last that she spoke with him (after 35 years of marriage). 

My dad isn’t a narc at all, but he has a lot of issues from his past which made him unstable and not a suitable partner.  I wish my mom would have kept him gone after the first time because she would have moved on more quickly. That 5 years they were back together really did a number on her self esteem and the stress and upset really had a huge impact on her.  

Dont look back- he made a choice and in a harsh way to boot, let this one go and just be thankful it didn’t happen while you were older. 

A similar thing happened to my DH with BM. She demanded a divorce and kicked him out of the house. She told him she’d call the cops if he came back to the house, even though she had no grounds to do so, so not sure why DH believed her. He was confused and devastated, even though their life together had been unhappy and volatile almost from the start. Come to find out, she had met someone else. She still kept DH on the line for her emotional support, however. Despite telling him how he drove her to divorce by being a terrible person, she called him daily just to chat about her life or seek support when things went wrong. It wasn’t until he met me (not sure how he hid all this from other girlfriends before he met me, since I wasn’t the first person he dated after separating from BM), that he started to realize that BM’s behavior was not normal and she was still bullying him. This was even after two counselors that he saw at two different points in his marriage to BM told him that divorce would be good for him because BM was emotionally (and even physically) abusive to him. Then when we got engaged and saw a counselor - because BM was cage rattling hard despite being “remarried” herself - did we hear from those counselors that BM had “borderline tendencies”. Similar to your soon to be ex DH, BM is also working to make one SS borderline (in my research on BPD, I read that borderlines can’t bear to exist unless they are creating other borderlines among their children). 

Since meeting me, DH has significantly reduced his contact with BM (which was one of the conditions for me wanting to stay around since I will not deal with another grown woman’s BS), instead focusing on his relationship with the children. He is so much calmer and so much more confident in himself as a parent.

All that is a very long winded way of saying that it’s natural to feel hurt and confused when a relationship ends, but considering your DH is BPD or NPD, you will soon “come out of the fog” and realize how badly you were being treated and how much better it is to be without him.

I also echo the comments above about getting a good lawyer. Preferably one who is familiar with personality disorders. My DH had no lawyer and it allowed BM to retain all the control, which allows her to continue to try to weasel her way into his life. For example, she recently threatened to take him to court over “not responding promptly enough to my emails regarding joint decision making.” She has never sent him any emails over joint decision making, just emails demanding that he acknowledge her existence and crying that he never compliments her on being “an excellent mother” (which she has not). Getting your DH out of your life as quickly and completely as possible will save you from years of lies and manipulations.

He's had to have had this planned for a long time. He's hired a lawyer had everything drawn up and is planning on having you served. As others have advised please get a good lawyer and do not just kow tow to his demands. Also don't make it convenient for him to serve you on Monday. I'd go so far as getting a hotel or staying at a friends or family and missing work just so he wouldn't be able to get those papers served Monday.  

It may be a blessing but I know it hurts to be decieved like this.  I'm truly sorry.  

I am sooo happy for you, you have a chance for a new fresh beginning without a bunch of spoiled brats and a rat husband. Stay in YOUR home and let him seek shelter elsewhere.  Never go out with a sick narc man with brat kids again.  Life is too short to come in second place or not at all......it is hard now.  But one day, you will thank him with all your heart! There is a better life for you right around the corner now.....

Just because he says his daughter thinks you are evil incarnate doesn't make it the truth. He is trying to wear you down and make you a leesser person because he thinks he can. Now his ex and he may well be working the girl but I would not believe a word out of his mouth.

Tell your teens he has moved out and cut you out of his life in one cold swoop. Do not let him get to them first. Sadly my ex did the same thing although it was for greed. His mother passed away and he inherited more money than he could ever hope to get. So he left me while I was at work (the last shift before our overseas vacation) and told the kids to tell me he wasn't coming back. I will never forget that evening as long as I live. We are both remarried and get along OK. He asked for my forgiveness a few years ago but I ignored it. NOTHING will ever make up for destroying our children's lives. Nothing. 

So cry, then move on. Do not let him back in your life. I let my ex back in thinking it was the right thing to do and he still carried on in his life exactly the way he always wanted it to be. BTW, he blew through the money in about 3 years. As the money was in another country and we had never lived there I did not have any claim to it.