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I hate my step daughter

Chrissysmith1234's picture

Submitted by Chrissysmith1234 on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 12:30pm

Hi first of all i hate saying this but I hate my step daughter i seriously dnt like her she is 6 yrs old and she is sooooo bad she hurts my son on purpose she lies all the time evenmy side of the family cnt stand her but i cnt tell my husband i hate his child i feel like all i do is scream and yell at her when my husband isnt home i mean he yells at her to and agrees she is bad but i seriously do not want her in my house

Comments

Brady_Bunch_plus_some's picture

Submitted by Brady_Bunch_plu... on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 12:31pm

Please god...USE SOME PUNCTUATION! I can't even read this.

daysleeper's picture

Submitted by daysleeper on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 12:46pm

^^^^

chaosensues's picture

Submitted by chaosensues on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 12:35pm

I am in a very similar situation. I also have a husband who likes to ignore that she has issues as bad as she does (and at 6 you wouldn't think they would).

"Yeah, I know she lies, but what do you want me to do?"

OMG, it's maddening. We have her 24/7. No break ever, maybe 1 week out of the year total. I am miserable. I don't even like going home.

Brady_Bunch_plus_some's picture

Submitted by Brady_Bunch_plu... on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 1:59pm

Gee, I wonder why this kid is so bad? She's a little girl and her dad has never spent more than 5 hours with her?

Nice.

And we wonder why children misbehave and act out. She's bad? I bet she is. She been neglected by her dad, and when her step-mom is with her, all she does is yell and scream at her (your words).

I don't care if I get flamed for this. IT'S NOT THIS LITTLE GIRLS FAULT SHE IS BAD. THE ADULTS IN HER LIFE ARE FAILING HER.

momma27ofthenorth's picture

Submitted by momma27ofthenorth on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 5:49pm

You're kids are ALWAYS gonna be well behaved THEY'RE your kids! My SD is with me full time and at many times hard to deal with. You need to back off just a little bit and let your husband parent. SD7 was used to me being the one to do it all and I was upsetting myself and ruining our relationship. I vowed to step back a bit and you know what? It works. No don't let her get away with everything but think when you don't like some one EVERYTHING they do is annoying. Pick your battles.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 9:22am

You only have your kids 8 days a month???? It isn't normal for judges to give dads that much time unless there is something wrong with the mom.

Do your kids have a SM?

Janna's picture

Submitted by Janna on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 8:55am

I really think this child needs a hug....
I get that she is a brat, put yourself in her shoes, you would be aweful hateful too.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:07am

She needs a father that will spend time with her and parent her.

She doesn't need to be stuck in a home with a woman who hates her.

dontcallmestepmom's picture

Submitted by dontcallmestepmom on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:53am

She is not going to give you any kind of answer-because she does not know. All she knows is that she feels sad and alone. Her (bio) mommy is gone, her daddy is not around that much, and she knows you are angry and frustrated with her. There is nothing positive or happy in her world.

While I agree with you that you need to take her to a doctor (just in case there are medical issues), you really need to "re-set" your relationship with her NOW. It is not too late, but the more time that goes on, it is going to get more and more difficult.

You need to talk to her calmly and quietly, and let her see positive things. Screaming and yelling will NOT work. Don't you dare beat her. That would be the worst thing you could do. You need to SHOW her that she is worthwhile, that she matters.

I am concerned about your baby, because while you say she is not jealous, there IS something going on here. Think about it-she feels like an outsider in your house, and there is the baby getting so much attention. Why not show her positive ways to interact with the baby, like show her how you feed him, how you dress him. Tell her how fragile he is. Make her feel a part of your family.

Your husband MUST spend some time with his child. I don't care if they go to McDonald's for a half hour. She needs time with her daddy. He needs to show her love, and yes, he needs to enforce rules and boundaries, but he cannot really do that now, because it won't work. In her mind, why should she listen? She has nothing to lose. Like I said, you all need to start over, give her attention, be kind to her, set rules-but do so with compassion and tolerance.

You need to talk to your family doctor to get some information on places that will take your insurance. You may have to drive an hour, but you need to do that.

All I can tell you, is if nothing changes, this will only get worse. That child will become more hateful and violent, because that is all she will know how to do.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:07am

Anyone else pick up on the fact that OP doesn't include her other 3 kids in her perfect family?

I would love to hear from her BK's SM.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:53am

crew?

Janna's picture

Submitted by Janna on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:12am

I cannot imagine letting a child hurt one ofmy children. I think you need to remember that you chose to get unvolved in her life, she didnt chose you or your other kids. I look at my job as a stepmom as a blessing and I think it would do you and her a wolrd of good if you changed how you look at her. She is a child. I am not saying it is easy, but you need to be there for that little girl, imagine what that would mean to her. Take her to a movie, to dinner, to get her nails painted, something, just reach out to her I bet with time and effort you could change her life and the lufe of everyone in that house.

Janna's picture

Submitted by Janna on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:23am

Have you and dh ever sat her down at the table just u 3 and talked to her? Ask her y she acts like this? What she wants? Not accusing or yelling, just listening?

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:25am

Ladies... you are all being crewed. I may have been blind to being crewed in the past, but come on... she just told the world that her husband gave up a kid because he didn't want it because it was born without legs?! I mean, come ON. If this is true, then I am very sad for all of these kids. But seriously... it's a stretch and I don't believe one single letter of this.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:34am

...What in the actual fuck did I just read?

If this isn't made up, what a fucking psychotic bitch.

If this is made up, what a fucking psychotic bitch.

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:55am

i'm guessing it's some troll from another site wanting to prove we are all as horrible and evil as they want to believe we are by getting us to say "yeah, beat her ass! kick her in the knee! make her scrub the toilet with her toothbrush!" etc. because we really are that simple and evil, you know. (eye roll)

aah71's picture

Submitted by aah71 on Sat, 09/22/2018 - 6:55am

So glad I found this site and this topic in particular. I’m in a bad situation because I literally cannot stand my step daughter. I’ve been with my partner for 4 years, she has two daughters and a son and I have 4 daughters of my own. The one who is the problem is my partner’s eldest who still lives at home with us at 23 years of age. She may be 23 but she acts like she’s 13. In fact that’s unfair to many 13 year olds. I don’t know where to begin to describe this monster of a woman, and she is a woman not a child. She steals or helps herself to whatever she sees in the house despite being adamant her stuff his hers and nobody better touch it. She’s lazy and I mean lazy. She’s only just started a job over the last year and before that she was relying on her mother and, by default, me to support her. The barges into our bedroom without ever knocking and yet nobody is allowed in her room. I get no privacy and fear she could just walk in at any time. She eats the house bare of all the food. An example of this being I bought a heap of healthy foods including a bag of oranges and a large bunch of bananas. She ate the lot inside two days and laughed it off. She buys stuff for herself snd literally loses her shit if anyone dare eat any of it. Her mother, my partner, does too much for this horrid woman, takes her around in the car and gets little thanks let alone fuel money, does her washing, and supplies her with food and OMG can she eat! This woman works full time and has mail order packages arrive almost daily and yet she didn’t even get her mum a birthday card let alone a prestent. Her room looks like a landfill site, she leaves a trail of washing up behind her and uses stuff without ever putting it away. 3 1/2 years ago I was stupid enough to lend her money which I’ve never had repaid despite asking on numerous occasions. As for her using other people’s stuff, she laughs that off too but it’s actually stealing. If it wasn’t given to her, she didn’t buy it or it’s not for communal use then it’s not her’s and it’s stealing, plain and simple. She’s also a compulsive liar and makes up her own version of events to suit. She’ll swear black is white she’s not taken something only for my partner to find the item(s) in her room. She is the most selfish, unpleasant, pig of a person I have ever known and I have to share a home with her. Not sure how much longer I can cope hence coming on here to vent. I can foresee her putting enough pressure on my relationship with her mother that it will, at some point, break us. I really don’t know what to do anymore. If I challenge her on her behaviour she loses the plot and runs off to daddy saying I’ve been mean to her. He, just for the record, is a nasty piece of work with whom the step daughter shares many of her traites. I’m not perfect, nobody is but her behaviour is in a different ball park to anyone I’ve ever met in my 47 years. I’m actually a trainee counsellor/therapist which means I have to have certain approaches to dealing with people and attitudes to behaviour but this person is testing those to the limit and to the point I wonder if my new career path is right for me. 

If you have got this far without getting bored I thank you for reading my post and allowing me to vent. If anyone has any advice I’d gladly take it.

 

A x