WTH???  Custody with the skids over dad?  Adults at that??? 

When you got married to your husband, you both agreed to forsake others and cleave to each other, (one way or another) .  Now, does your husband expect to get his "needs" met by his kids?  This just pisses me off for you.  What a ridiculous arguement to have with another adult.  You have a husband problem.  There is no "reasonable" amount of time to divide.  Life just happens.

Also sounds like you got one of those immature grown mini wife types.  Get over to the adult forum for ideas.  Plenty info  available.  

DH let me make this simple for you, they can have you 100% of the time...that is until they put you in a home, enjoy that life, I will go find a man who knows what’s more important.”

Game playing, they are making a big statement that you are not accepted in their lives, very abusive, he should cut them off, I guess he is expected to accept their partners, its tug of war, and no one should have to live with the stress.  They need to grow up and get a life.

Those skids must be pathetic LOSERS.  What kind of adult needs their mommy or daddy 50% of their time?  I just can't even imagine how disgustingly immature and needy those "adult" children must be.

None of my friends and acquaintances for the past 50 years of my adulthood have ever exhibited such tendencies.  My friends with children (I have none) have left the nest.  Many went out of state to schools like Stanford, Harvard, and Yale and now have great careers.   They love their parents and are very close - but they live their own lives.

One of the main roles of a parent is to ensure that their child grows up to be capable of taking care of themself. If an adult child still needs daddy around for anything other than the pleasure of being with them then the parent has not done their job right. An adult child should be flying with their own wings and not need daddy's presence all the time. They do not get to demand a chunk of daddy's time and they certainly shouldn't be trying to steal his time from his wife. 

What a pathetic bunch of wasters ...

Seriously? He spends 15-20% of his time with his late 20s to early 30s adult children who do not even live near-by? 

Yes, I do usually suggest a parent visiting and doing occasional get together with their adult children, minus their spouse . Partly because , why would you want to go and spend time with people who want nothing to do with you. And partly, I do not believe a husband and wife are glued at the hip. That both should be able to have occasional events minus the other. 

However, that doesn't seem to be what these grown *ss kids are requesting. No, they appear to be wanting to have Daddy as if they were all still 10yr old minor kids. Very unrealistic. Biggest problem seems to be that perhaps Dh agrees with them. That your Dh finds nothing inappropriate about dumping his wife and running to his fully grown children and speaks of more equally spilt time division is just crazy.

Does he want a wife and to be married, or does he instead wish a mere GF who just sits around waiting for his call informing her it is finally 'date night'? 

The point is though, if he is indeed 'good' with all this time division and the cash going their way (you wrote about the cash in previous blogs) , I really don't see any of it changing. Especially as it's not just not starting but been going for quite some time. You've got a Dh who is clearly telling you he doesn't give a crap what you want and/or think. 

Is your DH well off financially that he manages to pay all the household expenses that are his share, has his retirement all lined up, lives comfortably and still has plenty of cash to blow? You mentioned some of the cash is his, but that some of it is joint money he just sneaks and lies about. 

Have you talked to a divorce lawyer to see where you'd be if that is a route you may begin to consider? Separated your finances were he can not access your cash? Drawn up a post-nup to assure he doesn't leave you dry.

I don't see this getting 'better' for you as he simply doesn't agree with you nor care about how you feel this situation with with children is wrong. It doesn't matter how many of us tell you this is wrong. This shouldn't be happening. Because until and/or until husband agrees with you and decides to change anything, lay this is your life and future. No one here is going to tell you that your Dh should be forking cash freely over to grown children and lying and sneaking about it. No one is going to tell you it's fine if Dh dumps you 30, 40. 50% of the time and runs off playing Daddy to full grown adult children.... but none of *us* here are who you must come to an agreement with. 

Um... I see my dad for a few hours.. every other week and that is an increase from what I was spending with him before he almost died when he got sick earlier this year.  There is NO WAY that parents usually spend so much time with their kids especially if they aren't super local.  Shoot, most adult kids don't have that much time to spend with their parents.