My mother was physically and psychologically abusive. Always terrorising and i was scared stiff of her so no way did i want to emulate that crazy woman. For me it was my grandmother who i looked up to. 

I've never wanted to be like my mother.. Aniki, you know some of that situation if I'm not mistaken. But it just wasn't something I wanted. Now as an adult, my dad is normally the one I go to if I REALLY need advice. But I'm definitley the black sheep of my family. I guess It's probably a situational thing. (I wanted to grow up to be like Joan of Arc or Amelia Earhart, LOL)

My mother is manipulative and lazy and selfish and messed up.  Never wanted to be like her.  Liked my dad way more but he was weird too, though harmless. 

I just wanted to be myself. My parents taught me a great deal of how NOT to behave and what to never do.

while I've been having an after work gin & tonic or two +++. I was adopted as a baby into the most dysfunctional family you could imagine. I couldn't have looked or been more different. My 'mother' and I never bonded or got on - we just didn't like each other and it was my life's quest not to turn into her!!  I had an ex partner who said you are just like your mother - big mistake that was. She got grilled for 3 full days as to what EXACTLY the similarities were. In the end she had to totally back peddle, apologise and admit to being a b**ch for saying it. I disengaged from her many years ago - I don't even know if she's still alive. I met my birth mother briefly a long time ago - I'm pretty much like her - so I would go with genetics mainly and environment second. 

It's complicated, because my mother was a complicated person.

When I was little, we were very close and I admired her greatly. She was very attractive, athletic, and energetic. Mom had come half way around the world to live in the US, had a successful career as an office manager for a Fortune 500 firm before marrying, and was highly intelligent. I don't think she especially enjoyed being a mother and housewife, but that's what you did in those days. Had Mom been born later, I think she would have been a career woman and possibly childfree. She used to sit at the kitchen table, drawing up plans for various small businesses, but she was trapped in a loveless marriage to an old man and had kids who needed her. I recognized from a young age that didn't want that for myself.

I admired Mom, because she was strong and brave and loyal, part of the Greatest Generation. But she was also overly emotional, addicted to drama, and prone to depression. She kept our household in a constant state of low level chaos, always some drama involving one of my wayward older sibs. Except for the period after she married my Stepdad, which was  the happiest, calmest part of my childhood. And though I loved her deeply, I  couldn't wait to move away for college because I knew I had to get away from  the crazy.

See? Complicated. Did I want to be like the mother who chased off my sister's druggie friends with a pistol?  Absolutely. But I also wanted to create a life of peace where I'd never have to. 

I didn’t want to be like my Mom until I was in my 30s. 

She was and is a strong woman but when I was younger I always thought she was underestimating herself, that she played the I’m just a girl card too often. As an adult I realize she lived the only way she knew how and her upbringing strangled her independent spirit. She was always too concerned with what other people thought. She’d give up her and her family’s happiness so that things looked good to the neighbours.

Shes that generation who struggled with being the good girls of the 50s and the hippies of the 60s. She became a wife because that’s what you did after high school, and a mother because a catholic Dr wouldn’t prescribe her any birth control. She’s very intelligent, always worked and did well, even without a college or university education. 

When my Dad left she realized she’d actually be ok on her own but she never would’ve kicked him out or left him. 

As I grew up and matured, I realized more and more that I did want to be like my Mom. She’s got an amazing group of friends, she keeps busy and fit and isn’t afraid to travel or try new things. She no longer cares what people think and does what makes her happy but I think that came with age more than any big revelation. At 70 you don’t really give a crap what others think.

had a very bad childhood--her dad was a violent alcoholic who spent all his income in bars.  her mother was left caring for 9 children with no running water or plumbing facilities.  They got their water by fetching it in buckets from a nearby brook.  Her mom was severely depressed (no kidding) and ended up in institutions.   The kids were pawned off on relatives who resented the burden. 

She basically emulated HER mother as a wife and mother.  My dad was not a drunk but he also had a bad childhood and lived through the WW II European occupation.  His father had several affairs and ended up running off.  His mom was a strict disciplinarian and was forced to go to work to support the family.  He too went to work at age 15 to support his mom and little bro.  

My mom wanted to become a nun--going to Mass was the only stabilizing force in her life--she also lost an older brother in WW II.

They met, my mother the depressed housewife and my father, charming, photogenic, eternal optimist, salesman extraordinaire, but completely not accepting of my mother's depression.  I patterned myself after my dad.  My mother favoured my younger sister; very coddled compared to me and she became narcissistic.  I never really bonded with my mother.  We didn't have anything in common.  I'm more inclined to claw my way to the top rather than give in to depression.  My strict paternal grandmother often looked after us while my mom was in hospital for depression.  She resented it and it showed.  But I am also tough and persistent like my paternal grandmother who warned me not to grt married--twice.

Heck no.... wait, HECK NO! I did everything I could to not become my mother. She was abusive, didn’t really want me, cared more about her party friends than me, cheating government programs and left me to be the adult in the household when she should have been. Heck NO! I went on to become successful, own my own home, own my own business, despite my upbringing in poverty and dysfunction. I also made the choice not to have children just in case I became my mother in parenthood.

Yeah no thank you. Love my mom-in doses. She can be extremely self centered, is the only human in the planet who works 37.5 hours per week and is incapable of doing almost daily tasks without a round of applause. 

I sent her her a link after she made a comment about my house being clean. I told her I clean it as I go. If I make dinner I’m also simultaneously cleaning dinner up. If I take something out, I put it back. I work from home, so if the house is a mess my brain is a mess and I can’t handle clutter. She always blamed her house being a wreak on my sisters and I. We haven’t lived there in about 2 years (we’ve all been moved out) and it’s exactly the same as it always was. But she “works 37.5 hours a week how is she supposed to keep up with the house by herself?!?” 

I work 40+ hours a week in a pretty intense career, have 1 kid on the spectrum, a 3 year old, my 77 year old FIL BY MYSELF the majority of the week while SO works a 40 hour week with a 3 hour daily round trip commute. And I’m trying to figure in a masters program next year. But she’s the busiest. No one is allowed to be tired either. If you say you are tired around her you hear about how she works all day and she doesn’t want to hear you complain. 

So hell to the no I do not emulate my mother.