Great... why did I say that?
My mom came over today and started yelling at me that my house was filthy. I had a sink load of dishes to do and was cleaning my carpets (the whole reason she was here!) because BD2 had gone poop while going down the stairs (she's potty training and her potty was downstairs at the time). I told her (again) that DH does the dishes in our house. The kitchen is "his" room, he cooks dinner most of the time and he does the dishes. He doesn't like it when I "invade" his territory. I get it. The kids rooms are "my" rooms. The living room is "my" room. I arrange the furniture, I decorate, I do pretty much everything in those rooms. He has 1 room in our house that is his alone.
She started telling me how I need to do the dishes and cook because I'm a housewife. This is the fifth time this month she's been yelling at me about that I'm a housewife so I need to do x, y, z.
I snapped.
"Yeah, mom, because that worked SO well in your marriages."
CRAP. She turned around and stormed out. My mother was married 3 times and I'm the product of a long term affair on her first husband (they finally divorced when I was around 3 or 4 from what I understand) with her boss. The two marriages that I remember (SF1 and SF2) were miserable. With SF1 she did everything around the house and he worked. They HATED each other. She only married him so that I'd have a father after my BF and her broke up when I was 2. Trust me, that is a HORRIBLE IDEA and took quite a bit of therapy for me to get over. SF2 and she split the cooking and dishes. Of course, he also liked to throw her down stairs and hold a knife to my throat, so it's no wonder that marriage didn't work out....
Why did I say that......
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Because she pushed
Because she pushed you...Don't apologize for it. Sorry, but my mom pushes things once in awhile and says things she shouldn't. Every once in awhile I snap...I don't apologize for it, I just move on and tell myself not to do it again. That would work if she didn't say those things...
Don't be so hard on yourself. Sounds like she needed to hear that from you....
She needed to mind her own
She needed to mind her own business. It's your home not hers.
But also - as someone with failed marriages in the past and probably the only thing in the world I'm sensitive about - low blow.
"But also - as someone with
"But also - as someone with failed marriages in the past and probably the only thing in the world I'm sensitive about - low blow."
I know it was a low blow. It just slipped out of my mouth...
My meddling neighbor heard me
My meddling neighbor heard me tell DH "Get your stuff out of the dryer." And she said "Wait a minute, why aren't you doing the laundry since you're home all day?" Uh fuck that, fuck you, fuck him. She also got uptight when she saw me mowing the lawn because i guess in her head that's what he's supposed to do. She needs to but out of your dynamic.
Did you say anything to her
Did you say anything to her any of those times?
She pushed you. The truth
She pushed you. The truth came out. She couldn't handle it so she stormed out. Its probably time she knew your true feelings. She really shouldn't have been telling you how to run your house and your marriage.
Don't beat yourself up. Respect is a two way street. She was disrespecting you. I mean she was really beating up on you. You may not see it because she is your mother. You just stood up for yourself.