BO

PickmePickme's picture

Good morning....how do I help my step-daughter realize she has very bad body odor? I try and gently tell her that she or her clothes smell, her blankets or sheets are smelly or anything to get her to clean up and get the smelly stuff out of the room. She gets so mad at me because SHE can't smell it. You can smell her room the minute she opens the door or when you walk by and the door is open. Bad thing? MY daughter shares a room with her and she smells it but doesn't want to hurt her step-sisters feelings.
How do I fix this once and for all???

Comments

CPaquette's picture

Just tell her. Buy her deoderant and show her how to use it. Simple!

New second wife-step-mom's picture

Here are some ideas:

She is NOT to wear anything more than once then it goes straight to the laundry room.

Buy her talc powder or some feminine smelling powder that she would love.

Buy her deo and tell her to wear it EVERY day (even if she doesn't think she needs it).

She MUST change her sheets twice a week, every week.

Buy Downy Infusions fabric softner (long lasting) or Gain detergent and fabric softner. They both smell good, are very strong and long lasting.

DaizyDuke's picture

Is it because she is dirty (doesn't bathe, doesn't wash clothes, doesn't wear deoderant)? Or does she do all of those things and still smells? and how old is she, is she heavy?? I watched a Mystery Diagnosis once about a woman who had some rare disorder that caused her to smell bad.. she went through years of torment in high school etc about her bad BO before they figured out what was wrong with her.

Probably a stretch... but just sayin

PeanutandSons's picture

If you are trying to spare her feelongs, try sitting down with both girls and explaining hygene. Say that now that they are both older that their body care needs to change accordingly.

Lay out exactly how often they are to be showering
Buy them each a few kinds of deoderant (stick, aerosaul, gel) and ask them to try then and let you know which they like best.
Have them strip their beds reguarly.
Make sure to mention that just because they can't smell it, doesn't mean others can't.

Yes, it will be entirely for sd's benefit but she shouldn't get defensive if your dd is included in the talk too.

Stepmom23's picture

I agree! It came to my attention when SD14 was 12 that she was starting to get BO and flaky hair. When I sat down and talk to her about it, she was showering every night, she believed that just rinsing off with water was sufficient and wasn't washing her hair right. I ended up having to teach her in the sink how to wash her hair, and we did a girls night and I let her pick out her own body wash, poof and shampoo to use. Not a problem, and as SD9 got older and I didn't need to help her so much in her showers I did the same thing, so not to have this problem when she hit that age. GL!

PickmePickme's picture

I've tried all of the above. She is a good 40lbs overweight, doesn't wash her hair as much as she should (her friend told her it's not good for her hair...even though SD is out running around and sweating like a beast)and I'm not sure she is even using the topical deodorant the doc prescribed to help her underarm sweating. I've bought new soap, awesome shampoos, powders and deodorants. I can't get her to wash anything. I finally went in to her room, found the funk and asked her to wash it. It ended up in the garage. They are pretty lazy kids when it comes to chores. She drags her feet, doesn't cover when she sneezes, real lady like. I'm trying to work on all of the girls and their manners. Who knew it would be THIS tough?
I bought the Gain and use the Unstoppables. She doesn't like sheets on her bed and doesn't seem to care that sleeping on a mattress without a cover or sheets is kind of icky. The SK look at me like I'm more of an annoyance than anything else. It's frustrating.
I have tried to sit them all down and go over the "basic hygeine rules" but to no avail. This is the same girl that will sit in her clothes after she has bleed thru them and not change her pad. WHAT?!?!?! I've told her "every 2 hours, change your pad if you are bleeding that bad." Nope. Bleeds thru clothes and then leaves them in her room. Really? That's just disgusting. Didn't ANYONE teach them hygeine or manners???
God this feels good to unload and get it off my chest!!! :?

PickmePickme's picture

StepBitch? What a great name!!! No...no spam here. I just wish I knew what to do. It's just icky. Trust me, my kids are NO saints and they are funking at times too, but come on. I don't want anyone to pick on this beautiful girl but at some point, someone is going to say something and those knick names are HARD to get away from. I don't want ANYONE ever saying something to her about her BO and crushing her. That's why I've tried so hard to help.
Oh, you know about everyone is wearing those stupid spanx shorts (like their wear in volleyball) under their clothes? All the middle/high school kids do, I guess. Well, she wears them AFTER she's been working out in them and sometimes without underwear! WHA?!?!?! Not only is that SUPER icky but it's also unsanitary. IT just grosses me out that I this happens and that I actually have to TELL them to take them off and get in the shower.

DeeDeeTX's picture

I dunno. I had the same problem that age. For like 2 days.

Then my mom told me I stank, I was going to wear deodorant even if she had to get my dad to hold me down and apply it, and I was going to shower everyday, no questions asked.

It worked.

PickmePickme's picture

Well, it may be time to have another Come to Jesus meeting and spell it out that these things are NOT AN OPTION. You will wash your clothes, you will us a different towel every day and you will change your underwear every day and wash your sheets/comforter twice a week....whether you like it or not!
I guess I just have to lay down the law, huh???

ctnmom's picture

My approach is the same as DeeDee's- my 2 older ones would occasionally have stinky pitts and I would tell them point blank that they stunk and DO NOT forget to wear deodorant again. (they were all tought at age 7 how to properly wash body/hair)My DD13, the youngest, is a total dirty slob but she never ever stinks. She just doesn't have the "stinky" gene.

Halo_Horns's picture

I just flat out don't let any of the kids leave the house unless they can pass a general hygene inspection. I don't even care if it makes us late and I HATE being late. My ds has long hair which he gets to keep if he washes it and keeps it brushed-which he does. Brushes his teeth and showers daily. The ss15 is Horrible! He comes over on friday night and by sunday morning for church it is a Battle to get him in the shower! If we don't mention it and make him he wont even change his clothes all weekend! Summer is over so the public chlorine bath at the pool is no longer an option. The ss are also not circumsised to they get this REALLY funky sour smell to them if they don't shower! Both the ss hate to brush their teeth and hair and have brought lice into our house twice now! Same thing with the sheets on the bed, every morning they have to be put back on the mattress as they always pull them off and throw them on the floor.
I guess it could be worse with if they were girls with the pad thing..I don't even want to imagine that mess!
I feel for you!

Annanymous's picture

Have her Dad be in charge of it from now on. He needs to check her clothes and make her shower and change clothes and sheets. He needs to tell her how nasty the period-soaked pants are and make her put her sanitary items in the trash appropriately.

I would still spray air freshener and demand nasty stuff be out of the room for your own daughter's well being. How horrible it must be to be forced to live in a room full of blood-soaked smelly nasty BO and butt smell all the time.

PickmePickme's picture

The dad is an awesome dad but he doesn't have the compassion to say these things without sounding mad. I can sound like I care (because I do) but I get frustrated when they listen to me, roll their eyes and then barely do what I ask. It's truly not that difficult. I know she sweats more than a lot of people and I have gone out of my way to help her with it but when all the help I do provide gets ignored, I just shut down and let her do her own thing. Part of me thinks that she's not going to listen to me and it will have to come from someone else (probably from school) who says something before it actually sinks in. By then....it might be too late to undo the damage that is caused from a public outing.

PickmePickme's picture

Found the funk....dirty smelly underwear shoved in to a drawer of clean clothes. Guess what step-mommy is doing this weekend while she's away??? Cleaning house, baby!