I blogged a couple weeks ago about how after years of abuse and harrassment from my mother, I have managed to stay off of her radar for the most part. (left home when I was 16...stayed hidden ect) Well, on Sept. 8 she showed up to my former place of employment looking for me and it was just bad luck that I happened to be there.

She is so sick, I can't even begin to describe her decline in mental health it's scary. She acted like she didn't spend the last 6 years trying to ruin my life. She honestly expected me to just go back to my little meek self and take care of her problems for her again.

Instead, I went the next Monday and took out an ex parte personal protection order on her. It went into effect immediately and I thought I was safe.

I was still terrified about her reaction to me sticking up for myself and for the past 2 weeks I have been too afraid to be home by myself. If I had to be home I planned every escape route possible in case she found out where I lived. I'm trying to sound melodramatic but this woman is dangerous and people have no idea what she is capable of.

Well, this past Thursday I got a letter from the county clerks office stating that she had her lawyers file a motion to terminate the order on grounds that I lied and that my mother is NOT abusive or dangerous. HER LAWYER.

I am so scared, I have to face her in court now on Oct.8 and I have no idea what I am going to do.

I don't have a lawyer nor can I afford one.

What am I supposed to say.
How do you prove abuse that happened throughout your childhood. Everything I say is going to just sound unbelievable in court, and shes going to get up there and put on the waterworks just pretending to be a concerned mother.

I have a notarized letter from my bio father as kind of a character witness. I have a notarized letter from the wife of the pedo that my mother sent me to live with when I was 16 because she didn't want her bastard messing up her perfect new family anymore. (this is not just teen angst, she actually stated many times that I was an ugly reminder and she never should have taken me from my father) ...I didn't see my dad for 18 and a half years.

I don't know what is going to be considered relevant and what is just going to be hearsay. Please help.

My therapist told me to just make a list of all the defining "abuse" situations in a timeline so that I can just read from my notes since I'mm obviously be too nervous to actually say anything when the time comes. Here is what I have I guess but I just have a feeling that 1) my life is like an effing lifetime movie...no judge is going to believe this shit and 2) this isn't provable.

I just want her to say away from me. I have a family to take care of and she is not safe.

-when I was 2 and a half, my mother forged my BC, changed my last name and moved me from Cali to Michigan. My father had PC and spent the next 18 and a half years searching for me. She was going by several aliases at the time and her and I were impossible to find.

-years of physical and psychological abuse...half of which I had managed to block from my memory until just recently.

-When I was 5, CPS was called by a family friend because she witnessed my mother throwing me down the basement stairs. My bedroom was in a damp, unfinished basement. It took me being an adult that that was not an appropriate place to keep a young child.

-When I was 8 CPS was called again because my school counselar was concerned with my appearance and "behavior". Took me years to once again realize what was going on.

-When I was 14, my mother was angry at our landlord because he could not come out to fix our furnace on her schedule. She put my 2 younger sisters and I in our closed garage and made us inhale directly from her exhaust pipe on her truck. She then immediately took us to the hospital for 'Carbon Monoxide Poisoning'. She attempted to use the results to sue our landlord.

-When I was 15 my mother met a man online. I was told to pack a bag because her and I were "going on a trip". I did it obviously. She took me to Ohio and we lived on a KOA campground for 3 months while she carried out her tryst with her 'lover' even going so far as to 'marry' him, despite being married to my Stepdad still. My sisters were not happy with this marriage so she discarded them.
She hit herself and made me tell the police it was my stepdad.
She convinced me that her lover was in fact my bio dad (he wasnt) and for years after, blamed her affair on me. It turns out this man was already married with a family and was keeping her on the campground as his plaything. They tried to kill themselves together. I walked in and had to stop it. We left to get away from him in the middle of the night but my mother stole a bunch of his checks.

-When I was 16 my mother became incredibly paranoid and thought people were following her. She accused me of doing drugs and being a slut when that was not the case. I wasn't allowed to leave the house ever even when she was being nice so where exactly was I doing drugs and having sex? I was not to be in the house between the hours of 9am and 11pm because I was a bad influence on my sisters.
I spent thanksgiving 2006 sleeping on a park bench. I had spent the whole day and night before cleaning the house because they were having family over but before they arrived I was kicked out.

-My depression got increasingly worse. The day before my 17th bday, my mom and Stepdad pulled me out of school and took me to the hospital because there was "something wrong with me". The doctor told them I was depressed. My mother accused me of "pulling one over on her". She gave me the choice of being admitted to a mental hospital or they were going to send me to a girls school/bootcamp. I chose the hospital. I had to lie my way in and it was the worst 7 days of my life. I finally came clean to a counselar about what was going on and I begged them to not make me go home. They called CPS.

I was released the day after Xmas. When I got home my mother calmly informed me that she had contacted a "friend" and that I would be going to live with him. I was put on a plane the next day to New Mexico and I thought I was free.

She gave up ALL rights to me when she sent me away.
And yet, for the past 6 years, she has done everything in her power to still try to ruin me.

I was investigated this past January for allegedy molesting my baby sister. I just picked up a copy of that police report yesterday.

Why the hell would a mother try so hard to ruin her kids life even going so far as to come up with the most heinous repulsive accusations to just turn around 8 months later and state" give your mother a hug". as if nothing ever happened?

This woman is sick. And I know, these things that happened to me are sick and most of you are probably thinking, oh gee we've been crewed. you haven't, I tried to show what happened in a nutshell so you can kind of see how absolutely disturbing it is that she would actually FIGHT for the right to contact me....

Sorry this got so long everyone And thanks for reading if you managed to make it through.