SD9 Looking at porn!
Last night DH grabbed the iPad to do some work on it & discovered in the Internet search field 'Khloe having sex'. After looking at the latest searches we were horrified to find all of these searches & videos SD had looked up & watched. They were very graphic. We have told her she is ONLY to play games when she asks to use the iPad & were really shocked to see that she had done this. Needless to say she will not be able to use the iPad for sometime now!
I am more horrified that she actually typed these things into the search engine as I know even the smallest of kids stumble over things (but hmmm not when you are meant to be using just games!!) & also that SD is only just 9. Should I be worried that someone so young has done this? We asked her what gave her the idea to look these things up & she will not answer us, just says 'I don't know'. Unusual as she's usually straight onto the blame game & I was expecting 'blah, blah at school told me to do it'.
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When I say graphic it's stuff
When I say graphic it's stuff that would make adults blush! The whole deal.
I would be concerned that she
I would be concerned that she was sexually abused by someone.
Maybe she had heard about it
Maybe she had heard about it somewhere and was curious. Which regardless of age, sex is something kids are always curious about. Whether its why does Timmy have that thing between his legs or why was daddy doing pushups on top of mommy(or stepmommy).
I'd sit down with her and DH and have 'the talk'. Include what porn is and why it is not ok for her to watch/look at. It is probably just curiosity, but if you worry there's something deeper to it, take her to a therapist.
Unfortunately those things
Unfortunately those things come from school a lot.Even on the strict little catholic school my kids were visiting there was an incident once where older children talked the younger students to look at those pages .Even my son (around 10 at the time) was one of he younger ones with a few friends who were encouraged to talk about it and also to find it in the internet.You can't be careful enough - the internet is just too convenient and offers too much for kids.
But it would be good to find out who talked her into it- can you contact her teacher to find out if there are reports from oter kids in her class doing similar things?
Mine did this too. She was
Mine did this too. She was about 9 or 10, can't remember which, I think 10. I was horrified when I caught her. DH had given her a computer in her room, I grabbed that computer and ripped it out the wall and threw it in the garage, literally. It was graphic crap too, but was Youtube searches of "girl on girl" "girls kissing girls" "boob girls kissing" and god the videos were stomach turning thinking of your little 9-10 year old girl watching. Videos were of two girls kissing in lingerie and boob touching. Gaaaah. I yanked the computer out and DH wanted to give it back to her, I said hell no and there is still no computer in that room.
Middle school is nasty. She tells me that the boys will watch pornos and will describe in great detail the scenes at the lunch table with the girls, every time the teachers turn their backs (I refused to hear the details other than it happened). It's disgusting. Nothing you can do about it either.
Mine said "I dunno" too and lied through her teeth when I caught her. She started having hormones early. I never thought about that stuff until at least 12/13, but now these 12-14 year olds are talking about stuff I never knew until I was, literally, 17. I was sheltered and dumb, I guess.
They learn from friends how to delete their histories and search histories too!
I just posted a freak out blog about my SD12 and the internet just an hour ago myself.
I caught SD at 10 watching a
I caught SD at 10 watching a very graphic sex scene over and over on one of her dads DVDs. I was horrified! I told him and heblamed me!
I was guessing it came from
I was guessing it came from older kids at school but it's odd as she's normally quick to name anyone & everyone when caught out. I guess I have to accept that kids do things younger nowadays. I think of myself at 9 & there's no way I would've even been anywhere near doing that but I also didn't have the Internet & tools that make these things so readily available.
We had the discussion last night on how it's not appropriate to look at those things & what adult 'stuff' is. I somewhat blame BM as she exposes SD to a lot more than a kid should know & see (including BM showing her naked photo's of her boyfriend - yup even admitted by BM) & SD has caught BM with boyfriends on numerous occasions. I understand being caught out once maybe even twice but it's more & I think it's wrong in so many ways. I believe that is where the influence comes from & then older kids saying stuff just adds on.
Just completely horrified as this was very X rated, real hardcore porn stuff I thought you would have to pay for that's how full on it was. Might just take the advice & contact the school to see if there have been other complaints or incidents. SD currently goes to a Catholic school which makes no difference however they will not take kindly to anything like this & will take it seriously.
What makes you think that
What makes you think that CourtneyDC?
Google is a search engine
Google is a search engine where you type in what you are looking for and it will bring up suggestions of websites etc that are related to your search. You can definitely get some very odd 'suggestions' from the search & often do find pornographic options from your search (the search engind is thinking that might be what your looking for & gives you all options that have a keyword from your search).
Unfortunately this isn't the case with SD. There were numerous things actually typed into the search engine area & SD admitted to searching specifically for these things. She looked up a lot of other things just besides 'Khloe having sex'. I am a little concerned also that it may not be Khloe Kardashian that she was thinking of when she was searching as I first thought as Khloe happens to be SD's name & all other searches were not on celebrities or anything like that, it was more sexually explicit searches she was looking up!!!
That's very specific to
That's very specific to search out of curiosity, when sd was that age she was not happy with the age appropriate definition of sex her parents gave her. One day when we all went to ss soccer game, she faked sick, got dads computer and googled sex. Needless to say she found some pretty raunchy stuff. Sd spent an hour watching until we came home and busted her. She then, within the next 2 years, kept maturbating in inappropriate places (the living room couch with others there, like her brother, etc). It was gross and caused a lot of strain.
It is very specific although
It is very specific although I should say that SD's name is spelt with a C not a K but she likes to go around everywhere spelling it with a K so I'm still very suspect.
Not sure how 'the' talk went with SD yet, she seemed a little too 'yeah whatever' for my liking but I guess we will wait & see with that. We are always very open about talking about sex (& anything) & any time SD has asked anything that some parents might sugar coat or go around we always say it 'as it is' but ofcorse in a kid friendly way!
That's scary with the masterbating in front of others! SD had this habit that DH called her 'silly thing' when we first got together & she would be in the car seat in the back & kinda rubbing herself or on the couch. She has done it occasionally with me around but always gets very embarrassed when she knows I saw. It is pretty odd & freaks me out but I guess it's not exactly wrong? Something I will leave up to BM to talk about I think! I doubt it's really a subject for DH to discuss with her!
I agree & there is no way we
I agree & there is no way we would intentionally let her use the Internet unsupervised. No way! She was strictly told games only & these are in a separate area (& non internet ones). She has been using the iPad for games for almost a year now & never used anything else until now. She is now banned from the iPad for a period of time & we will most certainly be putting filters on.
Sounds like you need some
Sounds like you need some parental controls on your Ipad. I do not know much about them but if they are like Computers can you give her, her own loggin and then ensure that anything that is not for children older than her age group is not accessible? There is software you can purchase for Apple products to put parental controls on it I am sure. This way you never have to worry about her doing it again. But for sure she would be grounded from using it for quite sometime. I am sure it was just curiosity but she does need to know that "porn" is not what appropriate!
Thanks folks. I will
Thanks folks. I will definitely investigate into what kind of options there are. I think you might be right with the log on & you can set whatever you can use under that log on. I'm thinking that perhaps the home PC is better for her to use then it's not portable & cannot be taken into the room where we cannot see what she's looking at. It's not like we will stand behind her the whole time but we can at least glance across from time to time & SD would feel like she cannot look up inappropriate things in this instance.
It's really sad how sicko's do that with innocent children's cartoon characters just for the shock value really. It's unnecessary & upsetting that things have to come to that.
We finally got out of her that kids were talking about it at school. Im pretty satisfied it was just curiosity & I had a private chat with just her & myself last night & told her its ok to be curious but that's not the stuff to help you learn & if she wanted to know anything she could ask me & I'd let her know or we could research something together. She seemed very embarrassed I was saying words like 'sex' & 'sexual relationships' but also appeared to be responsive to coming to see me about things. I hope so. I know it's not easy to talk to an adult particularly a parent figure but I think she is comfortable with me as she will tell me things already that she doesn't want to tell DH or BM. Not sure I really want the whole responsibility of sex talk person but I'd rather she get proper education & not have to visit sites like that again. BM is a shocking role model when it comes to relationships etc so I wouldn't rely on her!
I'm just hoping like nothing else that it doesn't turn into experimentation as BM dresses her like a tramp already & treats her like a mini adult as it is.