SD used to always use the main bathroom in the hallway by all our bedrooms. Typical setup of most houses; I'm sure you can picture it. She never flushed, which is also how I know she never used toilet paper, and left little pee drips all over the seat. She left her dirty underwear on the floor. I never said anything.

Somewhere in her hating me period, which I thought was over now, she switched to using the other not-as-nice bathroom that only her dad uses. It's back between the laundry room and garage door and just not that appealing, but certainly handy to have another bathroom. It kind of turned into the Man Bathroom. Anyway, for whatever reason, she only uses that one now.

Several days ago SS was in there taking a shower and SD starts dancing around the door, yellling at him to get out so she can go to the bathroom. I very nicely said, "Well, there's the other bathroom, why don't you just go in that one?". She says, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that one". It is literally exactly across the hall from her bedroom door. She could almost fall into it each time she exits her room.

She seems to "forget" a lot of things.

Then the other day someone was in the Man Bathroom again and she goes to her Dad and gravely asks him in this quavery, injured voice, barely audible so that it's just between them, "Dad, can I use that bathroom?"

Like I'm so mean that I won't let her use the main bathroom??????????????????????

I play games with her, do crafts with her, feed her, buy her little treats, listen to her talk...and this is how she chooses to play it out. How do little kids come up with this shit?

These little digs are so minor by themselves, but they chisel away at me one by one. I offer her something to eat or drink. Nope, she doesn't want it. 2 minutes later she tells her Dad she's starving, as if I won't give her anything. I offer her a couple things she can do since she seems bored. Nope, she doesn't want to do any of them. 2 minutes later she whines to her Dad that she's bored, as if I didn't just suggest a couple fun things. I offer to help her brush her hair before school. Oh, "I forgot". Nope. She'll do it herself, which would be fine except now it's just got a few smooth spots over the top of the nest of rats. I offer again. At least she says "no, thank you" politely.

And why should I even care about these things?

It just occurred to me...maybe she's disengaged from me