I am trying so hard to set firm bounderies but this whole situation is bazaar and out of my control - I feel. We had to kick my ss18 out of our house about 3 months ago b/c he was not following our rules at all. I think I've explained before, but in short he was smoking spice cigars, chew/spitting all over, peeing into bottles and stashing them, using and losing a lot of my kitchen dishes and pots and cutlery, stashing uneaten food until it got moldy and was stinking up our house, never using a garbage can and throwing trash all over the house and yard, and the list goes on and on, in short he is very vile and discusting to have living in my home.

So he got kicked out of our house b/c I said to SO that either ss18 goes or I go. He moved in with bm's brother into a small 500 sq ft place. Only a month later his uncle kicked him out of there. BM offered to pick him up a couple weeks ago and drop him and his junk off at a shelter. My SO stepped in and we once again took him back in (temporarily) untl SS can get a job and own apartment (this happened last year too that bm kicked him out on a days notice. (I know ss18 has some serious abandonment issues but I cannot take on that guilt as well)

SO took him down to the teen center and ss now has a counselor who is helping him find employment and an apartment.

HOWEVER, he is now living on my livingroom floor and all his junk is back in my house. We wrote up a contract of rules for him to follow and he's doing pretty well with them but he is starting to fall back into his old bad habits of chew/spit, clothes all over, stashing dirty dishes, etc...

Yesterday I found a pee bottle under the bathroom sink and dirty (poopy) underwear laying on the floor beside the toilet and all my new bottle of ranch dressing and milk gone and cheese I'd bought for lasagna gone. I called SO and said ss18 has until MAY 1st to get a job and move out.

But here's the problem I am having with these bounderies and setting the move out date etc, my SO says he is doing the best he can to get ss on his feet and he is trying to keep ss with him most of the time and ss only here when so is here too, then SO says that if it were one of my kids we'd be doing the same for them and we wouldn't ever let one of the kids sleep in the rain. SO plays the whole guilt card on me but I did not do this to ss18 he did it to himsslf. So why is it my problem????? AHK

My kids don't act like his kid and are much more conforming to normal family life then his kid who was raised the majority of the time by bm who is a drunk and was NEVER home for her boys.

Ok, so here's what I am feeling - guilt. I feel like I should be the bigger person and just let him stay for as long as he likes until he gets his act together. I feel guilty b/c I am setting bounderies that are not reasonable with the situation - like wanting him out by may 1st when in all reality this kid won;t have a job by then and is a senior in high school and trying to finish his schooling and find a job and find a place to live. He even invited me to his graduation cerimony - guilt, guilt, guilt :@

But then I come home from work last night to him sleeping on the couch and then not eating the supper I cooked and acting like a complete BUMM and a totally entitled BRAT :@

Its all eating at me and making me feel extremely resentful and angry. After he moved out we could finally set out nice things like candles and a bowl of fruit knowing he wasn't around to cause a fire or use the apples for bongs. I could finally take the lock off the freezer and set out nice dishes I had to go out and buy for my kitchen after he lost/broke all my original dishes. I could finally buy nice food items for my boys and ss15 and know that it wasn't going to get gobbled up or stashed to rot by ss18. We are now not getting child support for him so his BIG appetite is eating into our small food budget. (he is 300+ lbs and eats as much as the other 3 boys alone).

I just want this kid OUT.