"I'm done"
This morning I was cleaning house and low and behold I am cleaning up the mess in the rec room around where ss18 sleeps. I found several dishes and rotten food stuffed into his laundry pile. It smelled and had vile mold growing on the remains. I texted SO and said "I'm done". He didn't text back for awhile and then he did and he said ss18 is "moving out today". He brought him home to clean up the mess awhile ago and then without a word they both left again. Now I am wondering if in fact SO will hold to his word or was he just placating me. I am feeling like crap with guilt b/c here it is ss18's graduation soon and he;s been busy with senior stuff, but he should have thought of that when he was stuffing leftovers in his laundry and he should have thought to get a job and vehicle before now knowing he was going to be getting booted out b/c this is no new news. I have been telling ss18 to clean up his act or move out and get a job or "you will be HUNGRY when you move out", etc. Oh for gods sake, I hate this. I am not a mean person and yet I feel mean now and it goes against everything in me to do this to a person who doesn't have a job. My ex changed kicked me out and changed the locks 3 years ago when I had no job or place to live and it was so HARD for me to get my act together and I am an adult. I'm miserable 
- sterlingsilver's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
It was obviously the straw
It was obviously the straw that broke your back. I did the same thing. One thing after another just kept getting piled on top o the heap and BAM!! I'm done. I evicted SD15 from ever spending time in my home again (she lives far away with BM and only saw us 5 times a year, but no more). Funny thing is that DH didn't mind at all. In fact, all he's been saying since then is how relieved he is not to have her around. She was really rude and mean to him, to both of us. Anyway, it's possible that your DH was also fed up, but he needed you to be the bad guy....too much quilt for him to deal with.
I have a 19yo SD that is
such a slob. She gets told to clean her room and she doesn't do it. She has two laundry baskets full of clothes that don't fit her in the garage (our washer and dryer are in garage) that she hasn't touched for almost two years. My SO has told her to clean her room and to get rid of the clothes in the garage but she doesn't listen. I told him that she needs to pay her cell phone bill ($30/month) and my SO gets mad when I ask him if she gave him her money. I think she should pay her cell phone because she doens't do anything around the house to help out, chor wise, and she doesn't care what my husband threatens her with (taking away the car, kicking her out), because she knows he won't do anything. He gets mad because he says why should I have to be the one that has to deal with her all the time. I am now to the point where I'm voicing my opinion. I told him that if she doesn't give us money for her cell phone, I will shut it off. I am now having second thoughts because I don't want to deal with her. She's a total bitch. Should I wait to see if she gives us money tonight and if not shut her phone off tomorrow? Or should I chicken out and just pay the bill and move on? My husband sounds like your husband, in that he doesn't want to be the bad guy. When my SD is gone, the atmosphere in the house is so much better. My sis-in-law tells me why do I let her bother me and that she's only part time but I disagree. To me, my SD should not be getting away with her attitude.
Do not feel bad. I won't
Do not feel bad. I won't even allow my FDH's kids in my home. This is how they live- I am sure there is mold somewhere in their house, but BM has the privilege of living with their disgustingness. They are just vile, like that mold. They are 19, 20, and 23-it just gets worse.
Take care, and don't be so hard on yourself.
omg..my skid just turned 18
omg..my skid just turned 18 and wants to "move in" until he gets on his feet..i sooo wont deal with that crap!!!! hang in there!
Thanks gals. I was feeling so
Thanks gals. I was feeling so badly and just wanted to fold into myself. SO called me and reassured me he's not upset and ss had to go and I felt like damned if I do damned if I don't kinda feeling. SO came by the house grabbed me and took me out for a couple drinks and a nice dinner! He said he loves me and it's me he wants to be with for the rest of his life, not his kids. Awww. He also said that ss asked him what he saw in me anyhow and he replied that it's none of his (ss's) business and that I make him happy and since he failed at finding a woman that made him happy twice before he's damned if he'll let his sons stand in the way of him keeping the woman that makes him happy now. THAT made me cry, right there into my dinner! haha
Awee. You heard the words
Awee. You heard the words from your DH that Im sure alot of us would love to hear!!!! Yeah for DH for "getting it"!!!
Thanks for your kind words. I
Thanks for your kind words. I have not always seen this good quality in my SO. The first year we were together was not good, we both had come from very painful divorces. We have now been together for a bit over 3 years. The other day my older sister mentioned she'd watched the whole series of "Love Comes Softly" on Hallmark. I have watched this series and read all the books, and it dawned on me while chatting with her that I have the same "story" of love comes softly b/c I truly don't know when I began falling in love with this man I am with. We moved in together initially b/c I was jobless and just kicked out by my ex (my friend let me stay with her for a few weeks but I couldn't keep me b/c of their own financial struggles) and my SO was a friend who let me stay with him. We just started falling in love as we got to know each other more and more. At first it was easy with his son who at the time was 12 b/c I wasn't committed so this kid was only a kid, not my ss. Actually both of his sons don't think of me in real life as their step mom and I don't think of them as my step kids, we don't think of ourselves as a family, we are a unit. This keeps the whole blended family out of the picture and we are just a unit of dad and 2 sons and mom and 2 sons living together. Well now it's dad and 1 son and mom and 2 sons.
SO and I are getting married on June 29th! We might become more of a family unit then! But bottom line, SO and I are getting married and we are not at all making it like step brothers or step parents, SO are spending our life together and the kids are under our roof to gain their feet so they can walk out the door with at least a pair of shoes on when they graduate!! lol