:sick: Pretty pissed this morning.

All things considered things have gone well for bf and i lately-are ups/downs but overall ok.

OF COURSE as time ticks and the wknd w/sd approaches things get crazy again.

This time sd called him last night to ask him permission to skip their wknd (i have my bios also) because her mom wants to take her to her hometown for some festivities-they do this every year. He asked her like four times if it was her that really wanted to go, she kept sayign yes. Then she went through a quick jumbled 10 min spill of all the extra stuff she's doing in school, sports, etc...it's like a kid on crack lol-but at least she's focused on academics and sports right? I'm afraid she'll burn out by mid-middleschool and say heck w/it all but it's great for now.

ANyways-of course he's talkign to me after debating on what he should do-he says SD suggested since she knows he doesn't want to mess up the wknd schedule, if he allowed her to go (since when does she ask permission...but hey thats a huge plus in my book)-that since they're off school next week she could perhaps stay w/him tue-thur to make up for the wknd.

I said, ok, well last time she seemed to really enjoy it, you CAN say no though, she was asking permission-but you said you asked her four times if she wanted to go -he injects maybe i should have asker her more times :? So I said do what you want hon, think and decide you have the right to do that.

A couple hrs go by...So finally i'm getting sleepy and take a shower and go to bed-he comes to tuck me in, we mess around and now i"m relaxed, ready to sleep feeling good. THEN he brings this shit up AGAIN!!!

OMG!!! He said yeah still don't know what to do, or if she really wants to go or it's her mom insisting on it.
STUPID STUPID ME should have pretended I was asleep. I said well hon, what makes you think she doesn't want to go, she sounds like she does, you asked her four times, she's had fun in the past...what makes you think she wouldn't?

Him: well because I can't stand her mom, her and her sick dysfunctional lifestyle and lack of structure and consistency and she's just a shitty person, and )insert huff, grunt, bitch, moan)...why whould sd want to go on vacation w/her??? Insert about 3 minute rant following that.

I had it by that point, I said, look you are different then SD, she is nothing like you, she does have her moms personality, I think you keep ASSUMING that sd must HATE living w/her mom, vacationing w/her, being w/her...but she's just like her, she has constant action, drama or somethign going on w/her-she seems to like and enjoy being w/her, so what's the problem!! Quit assuming she must deplore doing stuff w/BM just becuase you did/would!! And are somehow offended that she isn't!

Him: well maybe you're right-but then she comes over here and gives us hell I don't get it! Insert other 2 minute rant on ex and how his kid is turning out.

Me: YOU can't stand bm and YOU are pissed because SD lives w/someone so shitty, but reality is I don't think SD is unhappy there and is used to it, and that is her life, you have to accept it. That's why she give us hell, she probably is bored here-in fact she says it every 3 minutes. You are pissed because she is like her mom, and you cant fathom she's happy living there and it turning out like her. I get it.
Then I huff and puff and said i'm going to sleep-

He asks whats wrong, I said damn it bf...I friggin hate it when you bring up your ex, kid drama issues in bed, I've told you this a million times!! Is nothing sacred for us? We just finished having sex, and you have to bring shit like this up just minutes later really? Quick sucking me in...I told you this if off limits in bed!!

Him: well sorry was just wondering what to do about it

Me: do what you want but dont bring it up in bed please

Him: fine you're right i'll talk about it with somebody who gives a damn

Me: (thinking you're right I don't lol) Hon, i'm always here for you, i always listen and am supportive of you, it's just not the place or time-I never bring up my ex, or any negative issues w/my own bios in bed with you!!

Him: Fine then...and yeah well your bs pissed me off bad today when he had that tantrum w/you, i was ready to step in and let him have it...i know you feel the same way when sd does things, but it was out of line.

Me: you're right, it was, maybe we can discuss this tomorrow when we aren't tired-I just told you I don't want to talk about this crap in bed! I'm TIRED, unlike you I have to get up early in the am to go to work you know. I need my sleep!

Him: Yeah well just saying, you have to do something because your youngest may look just like his dad but the oldest when he disrespects you is acting just like him-he's going to end up just like his dad hating women later in life

Me; can we not talk about this now?? I'm working on him but I doubt he will be a woman hater like the ex-but i'm open to your ideas at another time-I felt ready to go to sleep before now I'm all worked up and have to take a damn sleeping pill.

Him: Fine, i'm going home then

Me: Yeah, that's probably best, thanks!

WTF"INGF???????? I have told this moron repeatedly -the bedroom is OFF LIMITS to discuss your ex, my ex, issues w/the kids, things that are bad and stress you out, blah blah blah.

You know what pisses me off the most??? And I do plan to tell him this.
His FIRST FAMILY consumes his life, all his past mistakes affect me and our relationship and his life-
How he fell apart,depression, drinking, guilty daddy, sd w/discipline issues...all his disgust w/his exwifes chosen orientation and lifestyle affects us. His lack of steady employment and financial issues....the fact that we aren't further in our relationship is ALL because of the side-effects of his first family and his trying to 'recover' from that mess.

His first family affects MY LIFE, MY HOME, and OUR RELATIONSHIP. Can I have ONE FUCKING PIECE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP that is NOT TOUCHED BY YOUR PREVIOUS SCREW UP AND BAGAGGE????
One, my bedroom, our sex life, our intimate moments....can at least THAT not be touched by them? Holy f'in shit i'm pissed today.