staying postive
There are times, like today, when I wonder why people, in general, are filled with unhappiness and treat others unkindly? Every day I see people who are filled with such selfishness and negativity. Maybe it's where I live and where I work. Maybe it is the dynamic of our step-family. Maybe it is the times. Maybe it is reflective of the troubles in their own lives. I don't know.
I know that it's hard to be positive when surrounded by negativity, but I try. I try to let the car with it's blinker on merge in front of me. I try to tell a person when their brake light is out. I try to hold open the door for the next person. I smile and say good morning, hello, etc. I say Please and Thank You. I let the person with only a few items go in front at the store. I try forgive others that are unkind. Sometimes it is hard. I try to listen to other opinions, that do not match mine, with openness. I try not to judge others, even if I would have done or said something differently. I try to listen without interupting.
I am SO far from perfect and I fail in my efforts some days, but I try. The past week or so has found me constantly reminding myself to stay positive. It has become like a chant in my head. Maybe I am a little crazy talking to myself, but I don't know how else to do it....other than cranking the ZBB song 'Quiet your mind' I wonder if there are others trying so hard to stay positive in the midst of the circumstances of life and how they do it?
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It's really difficult. I work
It's really difficult. I work in an environment of entitlement and attitude, blame and "it's not my job". Some days I struggle just to keep from scowling. I know how you mean it is hard - but I have to remember I'm better than that. And the days that beat me - I stay away from people.
It's funny though - when I do force myself to be thoughtful and kind, I find that randomly - when I least suspect it - someone does something that just makes me smile. And then I feel better about my day.
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Those moments when someone randomly makes you smile, or laugh, or they are just kind - those are the best!
It can be very difficult to
It can be very difficult to stay positive when things are chaotic around you. I love your post. I also try to do all those things. Of course we're going to fail, we're human. When I encounter a "difficult" person, I try and give them the benefit of the doubt. Did they get get in a fight with their SO? Are they grieving? Are they standing on the ledge? Will my attitude towards them make a difference? It very well may. One smile can turn somebody's whole day around. One random act of kindness can make that person back away from the ledge. I know how I feel when people are kind to me...and I want others to feel that from me. So those are the things that I try to think about when I'm trying to stay positive. One thing is for sure...I don't want my bad mood be the straw that breaks somebody's back. Also, my go to attitude adjuster..WWJD!
Thank you! You are so right
Thank you! You are so right - we don't know what is happening under the surface. And I would never want to make someone's troubles worse. A good thing to remember... = )
I agree that this is a nice
I agree that this is a nice post. It is hard to stay positive when things are hard. I try and think about the fact that if it was easy, and everyone acted the way we wish they did...there would be no need for patience, understanding, compassion and even love. Those are hard feelings to muster sometimes, yet they give us the greatest satisfaction. I wish I could keep all this in mind more often when I am in the moment.
Thank you! Yes, you are
Thank you! Yes, you are right - it is so hard, in the moment, to have patience and understanding, but it is so worth it to the people we are interacting with and to ourselves. Taking a deep breath and reminding myself of that is definately a good motivator.
I was once given a very
I was once given a very valuable piece of information.
It is too hard for your brain to change a negative thought into a positive thought, especially because you cannot generally change your negative issue into a positive issue.
If you are having a really bad day because of a particular issue don't try to overdo yourself by pretending that you are happy and everything is peachy.
Just bring yourself and your thoughts back to neutral. That way you aren't overextending yourself and exhausting yourself and after a day of trying to be falsely happy when you know that youre not and you get annoyed at the issue even more.
Do you ever have somthing really negative on your mind that you imagine things that could result from it? I personally have thought after a fight with my partner, he goes to pick up SD - I think that he will think being with me is not as good as he thought and will go back to BM because he misses SD and figures that it would be just as equal as being with me anyway. Well... if I let myself I will picture them getting back together, I will picture him leaving me. I will picture them being a happy family and me being sad and alone. What a silly thing to do over a small fight about whos doing the dishes!!
A technique I have used before - when I am imagining silly fantacies like that I bring my thoughts back to neutral - I honestly think of the alphabet - I picture each letter in my head, I dress it up in colours and patterns. After a while it brings me back to the real world. My anger has diffused and I realise that I was being silly and carried away. I then find it easier to get on with life as normal.
It sounds silly when you say it (I hope this is not something that works just for me....) but it honestly works. I use it at work, home, when I have a bad day for no reason.
You are right - so many times
You are right - so many times you can't do anything to change the negative circumstance, whatever it is, so you can only change the way you react or feel. I never thought about bringing my thoughts back to neutral, but that makes sense and is definitely worth a try. Thank you.
I see so much of the society
I see so much of the society you are talking about and it just makes me so sad.
You are absolutely right about laughing and it reminded me of a quote that I have on my board:
"Laughter is the brush that sweeps about the cobwebs of the heart." Mort Walker
Wouldn't we all feel better if we laughed more? I love it!
I love 'pay it forward' - I
I love 'pay it forward' - I was thinking of that the other day. Quite a few years back myself and a large group friends did the same idea - but at the toll booths in the bay area. We would pay for each other (if in seperate cars), we would pay for strangers. It was wonderful. The cars behind us would catch up to say thank you. We would get waves and smiles instead of fingers and cursing! Even the workers in the toll booth would start smiling; I imagine they don't see much kindness in those little booths. Thank you for bringing up such a wonderful idea and bringing back a great memory!
I am a full time cheerleader.
I am a full time cheerleader. (I am a salesmanager). My job is to keep my people motivated and happy. To problem solve. Staying positive is a way of life for me.
Like you I am amazed how unhappy some people are and yet they have so much and cannot see it. But I also learned along time ago what you see on the surface may not be what is really going on in someones life.
When I leave the rah rah of the office sometimes I want to just bite someones head off. So I crank up the music and sing really loud on the way home...it helps.
I am blessed and I know it. The step thing is still a challenge for me. It is much eaiser for me to see the negatives than the positives. I am a work in progress.
Liked your post this morning....
I understand where you are
I understand where you are coming from. As a teacher, I have to stay positive through the day - but some days I am fried from trying to so hard. We are all a work in progress and I appreciate so much that you and the others are willing to share your thoughts. Thank you.
'Those who bring sunshine to
'Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves'
A thought for those that shared such kind words today. Thank you.
I just read something today
I just read something today that made me smile. Someone said that they keep their spare change from the car etc and when they get around $20.00 they treat themselves to a coffee at Starbucks and the pay for the person's coffee in the car behind them at the drive through. They said it really makes their day, to see the smile and wave from the person who got treated and they hoped that it would catch on and others would do it too... kind of a pay it forward type thing.
I love it and am going to do it next time I am at the drive through!! If anything it would make me feel better about the crappy oh woe is me attitude that I get stuck in sometimes.
EDIT-- just read above that someone else has heard of this too! Hopefully it will spread!
I love it! Thank you!!!!
I love it! Thank you!!!!