So my SD10 and SD 5 are here eowe. It is always a challenge. SD 5 is a whiner and always "daaaaddy", get me this, do this for me, tattling like crazy. SD10 is a little B word, and it's consistently getting worse. She is 10 going on 30. She thinks she knows everything, is bossy, has an opinion about everything, says not nice things. She has a major major attitude problem. She is just a plain and simply rude little girl. I've tried so hard to be nice, "get them" to like me (although I know that's wrong). I feel like I've tried to kill em with kindness, as I would anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I PARTICIPATE in the discipline (DH does actually TRY and supports me when I do so I'm not doing it alone) and that actually makes things worse. When I say anything, number one they look at me like the second coming of Christ, as if they've never been yelled at or told not to do something. Then, Even the most minor thing turns into a huge, I mean huge drama filled fit from either one.
Anyway, my point ( lol sorry just trying to give some background) is what happened tonight. I just feel so hurt, when I try so hard. So SD10 has a friend here for a sleepover. We ordered pizza, breadsticks, pop they like and tried to be kind and accommodating. My DH took a phone call as we were eating. He and I were at the counter, 3 girls at the table. Since he was on the phone I turned around to check on them. See if they needed anything, how they were doing, etc. I asked if they needed more pop. SD10 and friend said yes. I got up, got the pop and poured it for them. I sat back down at my seat at the counter (back turned) and turned around again to look at them. For no reason just did. SD10 and friend had this "eye contact" and smiles on their faces. I kind of smiled and said, "what's up?" They said, "oh nothing!" Then SD 5 says, " they're laughing because SD10 says your hair looks stupid with orange in it."
I wasn't sure what to say. I really didn't say anything. SD10 tried to obviously defend herself and gave SD5 almost a dirty look for outing her. SD10 asked me why I wanted to have orange hair anyway. Ok so just so everyone is aware, I DO NOT have orange hair. I have dark brown hair, and rather than having whorish blonde highlights, I have Carmel/ copper to blend nicer. Anyway, not that I need to defend it, but I'm just saying.
So this really hurts my feelings. It shouldn't, she's 10, but why does she need to be SO mean and unkind to people?! From what I know the BM is the same way, outspoken, unkind, says what she wants.
I just dont understand. I basically didn't know what to say other than " well it's not orange it's copper and I rather like my hair". NOT A WORD. Just eye rolling.

I was not raised this way. I do not treat anyone this way, and it's very bothersome to me. What gets me too though, is my DH is also a very kind caring person. To everyone,not just me. Could BM have that much influence on her? I know they are with her most of the time, but still.
I don't know. My feelings are hurt. I was bit embarrassed. I am sad she was so unkind.