Bad stepmom
I realize now that I am a pretty bad stepmom. There were so many things I did that were obviously so wrong...
~I took her on vacations to places she had never been: Grand Canyon, St. Louis arch, San Francisco, Carlsbad Caverns, to visit HER family in the midwest, river rafting in Colorado, and more...
~I made sure she joined clubs and teams that she wanted, as well as provided transportation to each: girls scouts, track, volleyball,...
~I let her pick summer camps and took her each day...
~I made sure she had art and sewing supplies to encourage her hobbies...
~I took pictures so she would have memories of the 'good' times
~I made sure she had contact with HER family whenever she wanted
~I allowed her to claim my family as her own..
~I made sure she had health and dental insurance and took her to each appt, even braces...
~I took her to drivers ed and helped her practice driving...
~I kept my mouth shut about the person that gave birth to her and encouaged her to have a relationship with her...
~I paid for it all without a issue...
What I didn't do...
~Put up with a bad attitude, lies or disrespect
~Feed her tendency towards drama
~Allow her slack off at school
~Allow her take advantage of others
I guess I can see why she would want to go back to BM after 6 years, I mean I really sucked at being a 'parent'
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Comments
You're absolutely awful! The
You're absolutely awful! The nerve!
You should be ASHAMED of
You should be ASHAMED of yourself. . .usurping the golden uterus' position, after all!!!
I did some pretty terrible things as well:
Took them to their first pumpkin toss
Took them to their first haunted hayride (it took the Behemoth THREE MONTHS before she "allowed" GG to have his kids when in the company of MOI!)
Bought them an ATV and numerous xmas, easter, b-day gifts
Showed them how to brush their teeth/wash their hands (they promptly "forgot" after going back to the Behemoth's)
Bought them books that would help them learn manners, and be better with their school work (sold them almost instantly as skids were only interested in vegging out in front of "Sponge Bob")
Showed them about educational TV like I had for my bios (again, ignored and all undone after going back to the Behemoth's)
We were repaid by having them wreck/destroy/bring back to the Behemoth's everything we bought them never to be seen again or in a working condition. . .AND of course the lying on the phoney CPS report against us to "make mommy happy!"
How dare you provide love and
How dare you provide love and attention to that child when all she wanted was money, a maid and a chauffer!!.....
Now, really what you did was what you were supposed to when you stepped into the role of being a parent whether she sees it or not. One day she will appreciate everything that you did for her even if she doesn't see it before she has her own children.
I (being a stepparent myself and doing all of the above that you have done with yours) COMMEND YOU for beign a wonderful Mom to that child!!
I feel like I'm in the same
I feel like I'm in the same situation as you are. My husband and I have always done what's best for the kids no matter how many times we could have played the game like their BM does. We never stooped to that level. The kids are so protective of their poor fragile mom's feelings yet never seem to worry about hurting thier dad. I guess they see him as invinceable. Now SD13 wants to live with her mom and has said some pretty hurtful things to her Dad...I've never seen him this emotional and I can't imagine the hurt I would feel if one of my kids ever saying things like that to me. I'd love to sit her down to explain to her what her actions are doing to those around her but, she's a know-it-all teen who has been brainwashed by her mother...what's a step parent to do?
I feel your pain, the only thing that keeps me going is the hope that SOMEDAY they will realize everything we've done and the sacrifices we've made with their best intentions in mind. That day may never come, but I refuse to give up hope. Best of luck to you...
This is exactly why our SD
This is exactly why our SD left at 16.
I know. You are right, that
I know. You are right, that is exactly what is happening. Darn teenagers!!!!
It has taken the better part of this past year for me to come to terms with it all and let go of a lot of the self blame. This blog was my attempt at keeping my perspective in check and I am glad that people saw some of the humor in my snarkiness.
Wrote and said vows to her on
Wrote and said vows to her on my wedding day. Gave her a gold chain with a ring with engraving, and eventually adopted her ungrateful ass. And she hates me for it all because I am everything her mother wasn't...
I think that this sums it up
I think that this sums it up for me "she hates me for it all because I am everything her mother wasn't". The thing is most skids want all the positive attention,except they want it from BM's. Most of the BM's here are far from capable of worrying or thinking of anyone but themselves.
I get told I am clueless on
I get told I am clueless on how to raise a child because:
1. I do not allow the children to run in the house.
2. I do not allow children to throw things in the house.
3. I do not allow a 15 yo and a 13 yo to throw tempertantrums.
4. I will not allow children to dictate to me what they are going to do and not going to do...
5. I will not allow the children to dress in ripped clothing, stained clothing, and not go with out a shower.
6. I make the children eat healthy well balanced meals...
It hurts. Being an engaged
It hurts. Being an engaged stepmother hurts. You do soooo much for them, and when BM does one little thing, finally, its over-the-top amazing for them.
Workinthru..i wish you were my step-mom.