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It's finally happened

MandaV's picture

Submitted by MandaV on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 11:23pm

Well, Bio-mom has decided not to pay child support. This is the first time she's done this. We don't know what we're supposed to do. Do we just keep track of what she owes? Can she be arrested? My husband tried talking to her about it and she just says she needed the money for other things. How can you force someone to pay their child support?

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GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 11:30pm

If you have a court order, you go to the child support enforcement office and file a request to have her wages garnished. If not, get a court order or file for help through CSSD.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Sat, 09/03/2011 - 12:15am

^^This - BUT - be prepared to be patient. Depending on where you live they can often have quite the back log. When they do get it garnished, they'll take a little extra each pay check until she's caught up.

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Sat, 09/03/2011 - 8:26am

Does she know that you are likely to pursue her? I agree with the other posters and that it could take time. A cut in income is never a good thing, kids have needs!

Having said that we never got child support from BM, we'd only pursue BM for child support if there was such a big expenditure that we could not meet it ourselves. Like if the state decides they want child support because our girl is in a juvenile detention facility, or when she was in group home and they wanted money for her living expenses. If they ask then we'll refer them directly to her, she is the absent parent for these last five years and has not paid a nickel. We are blessed that we can feed and clothe the kids...they are about to come of age anyhow. They are old enough to have/or not have a relationship with their mother on their own terms, we do not need to arrange pick ups or drop offs any more, or have any dealings with the woman. I am sure it's not 'over' though...LOL she'll still try and put her oar in somewhere! We mostly do not care, ignore her calls and get on with what we are doing.

stepmama2one's picture

Submitted by stepmama2one on Sat, 09/03/2011 - 12:17pm

You file with child support enforcement and they will file paperwork with the government. Her not bn current with child support will go against her credit. Her credit will start to look bad. Also depending on how far behind on child support she is they will take it out of her tax refund if she gets one. I believe if she is more than $500.00 on child support they will take it out. Have your husband send certified letter return reciept requested to her home saying that she is behind one month already and that if she does not pay that month with next months payment that you will be calling child support enforcement and letting the deal with it. Usually when you call them they will put the garnish on her wages to get the months support payment and then when taxes come around they will put an intercept on her taxes so you will get some or all of her refund depending on how much she owes you.

MandaV's picture

Submitted by MandaV on Sat, 09/03/2011 - 9:21pm

Luckily, we really don't need her child support. She only pays $500/month for 2 kids, which is way below what the judge wanted her to pay. My husband used giving her a cheaper child support payment in exchange for staying out of our lives as much as possible.
My husband sent her a message and she has claimed she'll pay this month and next month's in October, so we'll see.
It's very frustrating right now, though, because this month, we really could have used it. My step-daughter has to have surgery on her eye from where BM and her b/f hit her. Still don't know how much insurance pays and how much we'll end up paying. It's so enraging.. This little 5 year old has to have surgery for something the mother has admitted to doing and she STILL has some legal custody... I hate our justice system.. Thank God she at least has no physical custody and will probably never get any.

sixteensmom's picture

Submitted by sixteensmom on Sat, 09/03/2011 - 10:59pm

I wouldn't wait a moment longer. Go to the cs enforcement agency and get it done. The sooner you do, the sooner you don't have to have anymore contact with the bitch. She's gotten away with skipping one payment now, she'll keep skipping and never pay. I don't care if you don't need the money - put it in a fund for the kids college. And Why isn't she in jail for child abuse if she and her bf hit your sd... what a loser.

MandaV's picture

Submitted by MandaV on Sun, 09/04/2011 - 12:37am

@sixteensmom - you've asked the million dollar question.

The child abuse investigation is still technically open due to new things the children have said, so there has been no conviction yet. And, in this wonderful state of California, until there is a conviction, the judge will not revoke her custody. The children's therapist I take them to was completely shocked. Even the detective working the abuse case (which is being investigated in Texas) couldn't believe the judge's ruling. We just live in the worst state when it comes to cases like these. California believes that a parent should be given a million chances, and that there is always hope. I'm sorry, this is not that kind of case. She is just an egg donor. These kids have never seen her as a mother. She's just this lady that drops in once a year, gives them a few toys, gets irritated with them, then bolts.

My husband loathes confrontation with his ex and is trying to play the nice game right now with the child support. I don't like arguing with him over her, so I'm not pushing him right now. But, if come the 15th, (when she's supposed to make another payment), we don't see anything, I'm bringing the hammer down on her.