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Lie after lie after lie...

MandaV's picture

Submitted by MandaV on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 6:13pm

:jawdrop: This is the worst thing that could ever happen... If you have been following my blogs on here, you know that my skids' BM is in a relationship with a man who physically abused the skids.

Well, back around November, she declared that she was leaving him, moving to Texas and starting her life over there. We thought, "Wow, does she finally care about the kids?!"

So, this whole time, we have thought that is where she was. Well, a few months have gone by since she has attempted contact with the kids.. We thought it was odd and began to investigate. Turns out, she NEVER left him, never left Kansas.. Nadda!! Not only did she not leave him, SHE MARRIED HIM!!!

Last time we took her to court, the judge found him to be a child abuser. The kids aren't even allowed in the same state as him! She even agreed that she understood her was a child abuser!!! WTF?!

The fear we are facing right now is this...

She has been allowed a 30 day visitation with the kids this summer. She is only allowed to have them at her mother's house. If she is capable of hiding so much, what is there to say that she will have this man around the kids and try to hide it? She's threatened them to not tell things in the past, so she could easily threaten them to not tell us he's around them.

What should we do? We're getting our ducks in a row to take to our lawyer to see if there is any legal action..

If anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated..

I'm so terrified for my kids. I have had these kids since they were 1 & 2 (they're 6 & 7 now), so in their eyes, I am mom, and I will always be their mom. I'll be damned before anyone hurts these kids again.

Comments

MandaV's picture

Submitted by MandaV on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 6:45pm

We are pulling together all the current information we have and are taking it to our lawyer. I have the contact info for the Detective that was a part of the child abuse investigation, too. Maybe he can give me some hope.

rollercoasterirder's picture

Submitted by rollercoasterirder on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 6:45pm

What I don't understand about these terrible BM is why don't they just leave the kids alone and move on with their life? Is it the guilt? What the heck is it?

MandaV's picture

Submitted by MandaV on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 6:47pm

That's the million dollar question. She has lost her physical custody completely. She's only allowed supervised visitation at her mother's house. She barely pays child support and NEVER contacts the kids.. She even forgot their birthdays!! Why is she still in the picture?

Kilgore SMom's picture

Submitted by Kilgore SMom on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 7:10pm

We are going through something like that with our ss BM. Our Bm was also doing sv with her mother being the supervisor. BMs, Mother decided that she couln't do that anymore because Bm is to agressive. So Dh sign up for BM to go through a sv with a court appointed agency. That was Dec. 1st. Bm still hasn't gone to sign up. We are going to our lawyer this month and are going to ask that BM take drug and parent classes, drug testing and if possible for the Judge to put a time limit and how long she has to comply. Say 6 months and if she doesn't then the Judge will remove her rights. Dh doesn't want to ask to have her rights removed. That was he doesn't have to ever tell ss that he asked for them to be removed. Not sure if this will happen. I'll no more at the end of the month.

MandaV's picture

Submitted by MandaV on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 7:13pm

Best of luck to you. Going through the court cases is so stressful. My husband threatened drug testing last time we were in court and it made her relinquish her physical custody. She was supposed to pick the kids up for Spring Break last year, but forgot and was at some Pot Fest instead.

Kilgore SMom's picture

Submitted by Kilgore SMom on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 7:28pm

I think DH should think about terminating Bm rights and letting you adopted. BM Marrying that guy is reason enough to have her rights removed. I've never heard of a BM only getting 18 days a year. I don't see how a child can remember their BM if they only get 18 days a year. What was the judge thinking. He or she should have just terminated Bm rights. SO if I understand right Bm husband has not been charge with the abuse yet?

MandaV's picture

Submitted by MandaV on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 8:05pm

It was shocking that the judge granted her the visitation. The detective over-seeing the child abuse case has only told me that the investigation is still going on. The judge of our custody hearing put into the custody agreement that the BM's husband cannot be in the same state as the children and BM cannot talk to the kids about him or allow him any contact with them whatsoever. She actually told the judge that he was no longer a part of her life and that he should no longer be an issue (LIE).

How can she expect to be married to a guy that there is this retraining order on?! What if she ends up having kids with him? Will she think it's okay for them to know each other? This is a colossal mess...

We want desperately to take her rights away, but we don't know if we have enough to. California is terrible when it comes to that. She has to practically kill someone in the middle of the court room for rights to be revoked...