Baby Momma Drama
Hi Everyone! I am new to this site, but really needed a place to vent. I have been with my fiance for almost 7 1/2yrs now, friends for 10yrs. He has a daughter who is almost 8yrs old. So we have been together since his daughter was an infant. There were several issues with the BM in the beginning where she used to call the cops advising that I was making a scene in her front lawn (while in reality, she was the one cursing at me with the child in her arms), sending harrassing text messages, etc. I got myself an atty to protect myself and they suggested that I video tape myself in the vehicle, so you could see that I was not causing a scene and you could hear her the background, and document everything.
The drama began to stop after the first year or so, but has recently taken a turn for the worse. We got engaged in December of last year and ever since it is getting more and more difficult to handle the situations.
I have been very much involved in my fiance's daughter's life. And all parties were welcoming to that until now.
Since we got engaged, she calls my fiance after every drop off complaining about something. My soon to be stepdaughter will be attending a new school this year. This will be her first year riding a bus to and from school. My fiance requested that we be able to put her on the bus in the morning and take her off on our scheduled visitation days. Today, his daughter went home and told her mother that she wanted us to be able to do that with her. She was really excited, but her mother told her no and yelled at her for it. They ended up calling my fiance and the truth came out. The BM told my fiance that he is welcome to do pick ups/drop offs, but I can no longer do them.
Does anyone have any info as to what she can dictate? My fiance is currently in the process of taking her to court for several issues that have occurred through the years. (They have not been to court since their split in 2004.) Is the person(s) who complete the drop off something he can argue and possibly win? I don't want to cause unnecessary drama for my fiance, but I think (could totally be off my rocker), that I should be able to do the drop off/pick up in the event my fiance is unavailable.
Any help you can provide would be appreciated. 
Thank you!!
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Comments
It has always been my
It has always been my understanding that she cannot dictate who he chooses to have care for the child on his time when he is unable to. UNLESS they have a criminal record, or the courts have reason to believe that they would harm the child. Hope this helps. Good luck!
what most are probably going
what most are probably going to tell you is legally? you have no rights, you don't exist... especially if you are not married yet.
That is a tough one - some
That is a tough one - some one with more experience than me will probably comment better, but I would think that she can't keep you away from the child unless she can prove that you are a danger to her. As for picking up the child for him, i think your man would have to ask a lawyer.
Sorry I can't be more help.
Would it be possible to have
Would it be possible to have you listed as a caregiver to his daughter? You are in a stable relationship with her father. There are bound to be occasions whereby he is not able to do pick ups or drop offs, it might be possible for your fiance's attorney to put that forward. Screw crazy BM and let her rant if that's what she chooses to do.
The bm in our situation tried
The bm in our situation tried to tell us the same thing. The thing is she cannot tell him who can be around his daughter UNLESS their is a court document saying so. If someone is around the child that is not a very good person to have around the child then it would only make sense not to have the person around but unless they are lets say a registered sex offender or if there is a CO saying they cant be around then it is really up to the parent that the child is with who the child is around. So what you need to do is if you are the only one available at the time to pick up skid and she tries to pull that shit again then you have your fiance tell her that it is NOT written in the CO anywhere that the father is the only one that can pick up skid so you have him tell her that you WILL be there to pick up child and if she withholds child for any amount of time that is running into fiance's visitation that FIANCE will take her to court for withholding visitations from him.
Thanks for the advice
Thanks for the advice everyone. To give you an update, we have hired an attorney. The BM completely modified my fiance's parenting time to almost nothing. He has been fighting back and forth for a little over a week. We saw that she was only going to do what she wanted and make it difficult for us regardless of what is in the best interest of the child. Unfortunately, the previous parenting time was only verbally agreed upon, so there was no court order.
Well now that we have hired an attorney, we are fighting for everything. We are requesting that the previous parenting time be documented by the court so she cannot threaten to take it away any longer. In addition, we are requesting reduced child support so that money hungry whore cannot keep buying Tiffany's jewelry and go on these extravagant vacations while my fiance and I sit back and try to figure out how we're going to pay the mortgage this month. (He pays over $1K per month in support, but is currently making 1/3 of what he was when support was calculated. Based on her current income and his, his support should be reduced to approximately $50 per week...This would make my day!
As well, we are requesting that any member of our family (his or mine) be permitted to pick up/drop off.
All of the things we are requesting are currently in the BM's first ex-husband's agreement for his daughter, so we are sure to win.
I can't wait to see her face when it all goes down!
Wish us luck!