Anyone Feel Like No Matter How Hard You Try, You Always Lose???
We have had the kids for 2 and a half years, she never once paid child support, we never asked for it until last month. We had to wait six months for a court date. She has never bought them clothes, toothpaste, NOTHING. In fact, they always came and got all their stuff from our house, including pillows, blankets, clothes.... etc...
Today was our first child support check we recieved from her. $100!! WOW. It all seems so stupid. All of this fighting with my husband.... convincing him to take her back to court to MAKE her take care of HER OWN KIDS.
Now today she is refusing to bring the kids home. She tells us she is going to, later that day. First, he was suppose to take the bus home, but that didn't happen because he did not go to school. Then she says she is bringing them home in alittle bit. Then 5:00 rolls around and we get the phone call that she went to the courts and has a temporary child custody. WHAT????????????? I looked it up online and all the things that call for temporary child custody are EXTREME. Like accused sexual abuse, or abandonment.... serious stuff.
I am so fed up with this stupid crazy woman. She is so money hungry its ridiculous. Up until like 4 or 5 months ago they were not even allowed to SPEND THE NIGHT at her house, but NOW that she has to pay us child support, now she is suddenly wanting to have the kids. PLEASE HELP ME. We need a lawyer.
We were actually trying to buy a house, and we already got approved. Now my husband says if we have to pay her $800 a month, we will not be approved to buy the house. So we are out the $400 for the appraisal, and possible the $1500 earnest money we put down!!!
I do not understand how the courts just take her word for it. THey don't need any evidence of any extreme activity. She says on april 11th we have a court date. WHATTT!!!!!!!!!!! We had to wait 6 months to get OUR COURT DATE. BUt now that she says it, We have to jump through hoops to make her happy. I am sick to death of dealing with this patholocial LIAR!! She is turning the kids into pathological liars as well, along with putting poor SS12 right in the middle, making him choose between BM and DH!!!
Please someone just put me out of my misery now. Why is she doing everything in her power to ruin our lives??? Why is it so unfair that she has to pay us 200 in child support but we have to pay her 800??? Why can we go two and a half years of taking care of the kids, and she cannot go with just ONE child for ONE week. (SD15 moved out last week after getting caught smoking spice on school campus, plus had to be rushed to the emergency room for a bad reaction... by the way, no one called us, not the BM, not the school, not the police, and not the hospital. We did not find out til the next day!!!But you can be guaranteed someone called us when the probation court date was set)
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oh what an awful woman!I'm so
oh what an awful woman!I'm so sorry!But try to be positive about this.You've had the children for 2 and a half years.You have a history with the children.A judge awarded support to guys to be paid by this psycho.The probability of the children being given back to bm seems like it would be slim to none.It will be obvious to the people reviewing the case that she is only doing this to get out of paying for them and that is really bad in the eyes of the court people.You have proof that she hasn't contributed a dime to their health and care in over 2 years.I feel things are in your favor at this point and anything she does is just digging her own grave.Can you get a pro-bono lawyer through the court maybe?I can't see that you would need a high profile lawyer to deal with this because BM is obviously creating trouble for nothing.
I don't know if it is like
I don't know if it is like this in your state, but in a lot of states a parent has to be CURRENT on their CS before they can try to get a change in custody.
She is current on it because
She is current on it because we never filed for support before. My husband always said that somehow she would make it so that we had to pay her.... well turns out he is right. We went to court on Feb 2nd and just got our first payment of $100. And now we have to go back to court... Its so sad, and twisted and pathetic.
I so wish that they could see through her lies. I was up all night trying to figure out what we are going to do... do we let the house go? Or do we keep trying to get it, put all our money out there just to find that we can't get the loan anymore? UGH.
We went to talk to SD16s school the other day and the school counselor said that she had told him that it was 50/50 custody, every other week. NOT TRUE. She only has them two and half days a week, according to the child support guidelines. She has always been very involved in the schooling for the two girls. But not for SS12. And she always has alteir motives. Its like she wants to go to the school every day just so she has control over them. So when we go in, they're like, "Who are they? I thought they lived with their mother?" Well just because she takes them out of school all the time does not mean that she is a good mother, actually it would mean the opposite.
And people wonder why there
And people wonder why there are so many dead beat dads out there. When there is a real father, trying to do good, they give you a hard time!! They just take her word for everything with no proof of anything. We did nothing to these kids but give them a stable home with food, and electricity and everything they needed.
DH called SS12 last night and asked if it was true he did not want to live with us anymore. He said that its not that he doesn't want to live with us, its just that he wants to live with his mom more. Poor kid, being put in the middle like this. There were easier ways to go about all of this. Since when is it up to the kids where they live? I thought it was the best environment??? I looked up the ex's boyfriend online last night, he has two DUI's, and has been in trouble with the law. We have nothing like that in this home. My SS12 is only thinking that all his friends moved away, so he cannot walk to their house anymore. He is thinking that by his moms house he has one friend where he can just walk over there whenever he wants. It should not be up to the children where they want to live because they are not going by things that actually matter.
Big surprise: She Lied! Dh
Big surprise: She Lied!
Dh went to the court house first thing this morning and found that she lied about the temporary custody. The court actually denied her request. She requested two days to go to our house and take everything from their rooms!!! I will take everything out of their rooms before she comes over. She did not pay for anything in this house- we have paid for everything. She is something else.
When the cops went to her house last night to see the papers, I guess she showed him the original arangment from four, almost five years ago.
Should I get a restraining order against her?
You might want to talk with
You might want to talk with DH about getting an RO against her on behalf of the skid(s).
This is exactly why I tell NN NEVER take BM's word for ANYTHING. She is a drama queen and tends to exaggerate. I told him, "If BM says the sky is blue, you'd better get your ass outside to check for yourself!"
The whole system is flawed
The whole system is flawed and it is even MORE flawed and militantly pro-golden uterus in states like NY, CA and MA where CS goes on pretty much forever.
Custody is seldom awarded to biodad even though biomom is neglectful, kids failing in school, etc. PAS is winked at, but they'll throw NCP biodad in jail if he loses his job and can't pay CS.
In the states mentioned above it's simply "non custodial and custodial" There is no account for nights stayed at either parent's residence so joint custody is just a paper tiger legal term. There's no account for other children in the home either that aren't part of the "first royal family." Men that do get custody often continue to pay the NCP BM CS as "ransom" so that the BM won't keep taking them back to court.
Pretty pathetic.