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Showers and Homework

misschristina95's picture

Submitted by misschristina95 on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 10:11am

Last week BM sent the kids home at nine oclock as agreed. But SS11 had not taken a shower or did his homework. His bedtime is 9:00. He had a free birthday pass for one free homework missed assignment. So it was not a big deal... because he still got an a.
I asked BF to remind her that she needs to have his homework done and he needs to have taken a shower.

So this project was due where SS11 had to dress up like an adventurer. So I got him a beard and some other stuff. So he calls me crying because he has to get his project done but he is at his moms house. I told him to calm down. I told him take a shower over there and I will call you when I am done grocery shopping and you can come home.

I get a text message from BF saying that SS11 is coming home. I just got off the phone with him so this makes NO SENSE to me. Of course BM just decided to do whatever the hell she felt like, and decided she was going to drop him off at the house- I wasn't even home! (SD14 was-- she was sick in bed) So I called SS11 and asked him what was going on. He said he was at our house and taking a bath. I asked him why he didn't take a shower at his moms house like I said. First he said they didn't have any shampoo and conditioner. I said REALLY??? Then he changed it to he didn't want to smell like a girl. I said why didn't you use your moms boyfriends stuff. He said he can't. UGH. drives me crazy that her boyfriend is so selfish!!!!

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misschristina95's picture

Submitted by misschristina95 on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 9:56pm

I completely understand that this is going to drive me crazy. It has been driving me crazy from day one. Its all the things that she doesn't do for the kids. Its all the things that we pay for that she doesn't. Its all the discipline that we give that she doesn't. Its all the things...

As for the boyfriend, its not just his personal hygiene stuff. Its with everything. And its not only with the kids- I'm scared to say that I almost feel for BM too. When she had no car he would not let her use it to go pick up the kids, or for anything! Now his car is broke down, and he is driving it everywhere. Its almost like he is holding something over her head.
Its weird-- I've tried to reach out to her before, when we were on good terms for a minute or two, I just asked her if it was "THEIR" decision to not have the children spend the night, or how it always seems like they can only be at their house when he is not home. I tried to reason with her, tried to find out if she was actually just really selfish or if she is just scared of being homeless, say she said no to him and he kicked her out. Anyway, the only thing I got out of her was that all the decisions were mutual... don't know if that is the truth or not. So either she really is just trying to build a new life with her boyfriend and his family and leave her own kids in the dust, or she is scared to lose the house.

I personally cannot imagine having children and being able to not see them and feel okay about that. I can't imagine another woman raising my children. But I guess she is okay with it.