You are here

Christmas Light Show

misschristina95's picture

I invited SD17 to go with us to the Christmas Light show. She said she had already gone and it was dumb. She didn't even know which one we were going to! She always complains that we never invite her anywhere with us, and when we do she always says no.
This was the first year I went to this christmas light show and it was freakin' awesome!!! The lights went to the music that we tuned on in the car. She really missed out! Even the SKids were excited!
I'm assuming that she went with her BM and BMs boyfriend and BMs boyfriends 4 year old son (who acts like he is two!!) Of crouse the happy family went without the two kids that live in this house! Why are they never allowed to go anywhere if her boyfriend is going to be there? The kids have got to be figuring out by now that if her boyfriend is there they are not allowed to go, or go to the house.
BMs christmas party was last week. She took her boyfriend and SD17, but dropped SS11 and SD14 off with us at five in the afternoon, because and I quote "Only kids who live in the same household are allowed to go, sorry" !!! YEAH RIGHT!!! We have "joint" custody so technically she is supposed to have them half the time so therefore technically they do "live in the same household"

Comments

Sita Tara's picture

"Only kids who live in the same household are allowed to go, sorry"

who's rule did she say that was? Hers or her employers?

That stinks for the kids. I'm sure they are feeling the rejection right now. Lucky for them they have you guys to come home to.

I have dealt with a BM of convenience for many years. She has reduced her visitation from WE weekend and one weeknight/ one week each month of the summer...

to 2 -3 overnights a month. When SD's lucky.

She has recently announced she is thinking of taking SD to Fl or somewhere over spring break. This means she is dangling a carrot that will never appear.

Last night was her normal overnight, but she had asked for SD Sunday for a "surprise." Poor SD spent all morning guessing what it was- BM's big family Christmas???? Dinner at SD's favorite restaurant????

It turned out to be a 3 hour two way trip to see BM's aunt who's a nun at a villa.

Anyway... last night I ended up dropping SD 14 at the mall with her friend to buy BM a present, and BM met them at the food court for dinner, then brought SD back home. I was impressed that since my van was in the garage BM actually pulled into the driveway and let SD wait in there to make sure I let her in.

THAT's a first. Usually she doesn't pull in and I suspect really wants to only slow down and have SD jump out of her car when she brings her home.

I have learned... to let it all slide off of me. It's SD's .... and DH's crosses to bare.

It's not an easy process, but I am finally reaping the relief so many of my "stepsisters" on here promised awaited me.

It will bother you a LOT, and create chaos and heartbreak for you.

Til it doesn't anymore.

I hope this journey is a quick one for you.

HUGS,
Sita

misschristina95's picture

Thanks for the advice. I've realized a long time ago if I let go of the control things don't bother me as much. But its so hard because these kids are actually pretty good. They can be frustrating but what kids aren't???

Last year for christmas BM promised them a nintendo DS for each of the kids- even told us that she has ordered them online and that they should be there by christmas. So she didn't have enough money to get any games for the system so we went out and bought some. She even told the kids what she was getting them. Every day they checked the mail to see if the package had come. Well- turns out she never ordered it. It was then they were living with her, and so the presents all went to her house (another issue) and we never saw the games again. I'm assuming she took them back and got the money for them.

To answer your question, it was an employee party. And the employer said only kids who live in the same house.