So-up until this point things between my bf's D and I have been very good. Her and my son fight like cats and dogs but between us it's been good. She's very accepting and loving and respectful.

Oh..yeah I actually saw the BM at a soccer game this Sat for the first time...we just said an akward HI and that was it.

Anyways-I've noticed over the last couple of wknds she's making more of a stand/fuss when I'm asking her to do something/stop doing something or to listen to an order. She's getting more mouthy (not horrible), will stomp or get upset at me, or answer back-in essence she's more comfortable around me now to act out to me. It's like she's testing me to see how much discipline/rules I'll enforce and put up with.

Of the two of us I'm definately more strict then my bf. BUT she already knows her boundaries with him-and believe me he can get her to back down quick-but not with me yet-so I think she's going to be doing some serious testing. I talked to him about this and asked him to just back me up. That she knows her limits with him-but up to know it's all been lovey dovey with me..and of course at some point she will get more comfy and I as well and feel more comfortable enforcing rules, consequences or asking her to respect my wishes.

I don't forsee an adversarial relationship w/her-honestly I don't. Her mom and her dont' get along well-she heavily looks up to me and admires me greatly and you can tell is craving the mom time/attention. She'll come into my room with me-we'll look at clothes-she'll try on my shoes, we'll do our hair. She's certainly has some problems, and is very lively and spirited...nothing chill/mellow/submissive about her ha! That's fine..neither am I.

just wondering at what point of your relationship w/your skids did they start testing your boundaries to see your response.

I mean even my own kids do it all the time..every few months they'll buck harder to see what I do. They know I love them they love me and feel safe in 'rebelling' waiting for me to impose limits.

How did you handle it, what did you ask your then bf's, fiance/dh's to do to support you? So far the bf and I are taking a united approach on it and he very much respects me as a mother and will likely go with me then against me. I think even though we only see her EOW...he probably feels more comfortable with me imposing discipline then he does w/my boys even though he sees them more often...probably again because we agree i'm the tougher one He's definately more patient then I am.

It is what it is-originally when I was married I was the softie...when I became a single mom I had to constantly switch between two roles all the time..the stricter side of me which felt completely unnatural had to come out because handling two boys is no easy task. They needed it with no man in the home. I still go back/forth between both. So I'm sure I'll probably take a similar approach with her.