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Father's Day

NoDramaMama's picture

Submitted by NoDramaMama on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 1:25pm

I don't know if I should get a gift for my BF for father's day. I already picked out a card...but not too sure how I feel about getting a gift. He has a son, and I know that BM is probably going to get something for him. I feel like he is a father, but not to my child, so should I bother get him anything? I know that sounds horrible, but that's how I feel. Also, the fact that BM will get him something for him from her boils my blood and makes me want to one up her...however, that's a bad reason to get a gift. Is a card good enough?

Comments

luckykell's picture

Submitted by luckykell on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 1:30pm

A card works for Fathers Day. I always get FDH a card from me, and starting 2 years ago I took over the gift part from BM. I now pick out the gift, wrap it, help SD5 fill out the card. Once you and BF cross the line into engagement and marriage, I feel the father's day gifting for Skids will be your area. If BM continued buying my FDH presents i'd consider it an overstep...but that's just me and my opinion! But to answer your question, yes a card is good! Smile

eamgw's picture

Submitted by eamgw on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 2:35pm

My DHs ex still gets him stuff. like a beer mug although hes a recovering alcoholic! Shes a twit and always WAY oversteps the boundaries. Any thoughts on ways to handle it?

NoDramaMama's picture

Submitted by NoDramaMama on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 2:41pm

If there is anything I've learned being in the situation I am now and StepTalk, it's really up to ur DH to set the boundaries and reinforce it. You or I can't control the BM...she does what she does and will keep doing it until the person she is targeting (ur DH or my BF) puts his foot down and does not humor her. Wish there was a better way though!

luckykell's picture

Submitted by luckykell on Tue, 06/15/2010 - 1:23pm

Yeah, I agree with NoDramaMama...my FDH had to put his foot down with BM. He sent her a very LONG email, but the jist of it was that he wanted to continue working together as coparents to raise their daughter; but when it came to their respective separate lives they needed to stay just that....separate!!! She threw a fit at first, but we haven't had any problems since.

stepmasochist's picture

Submitted by stepmasochist on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 1:40pm

It definitely wouldn't bother me if it's a gift she bought for the kid to give to DH, and most likely wouldn't bother me if she gave him something herself as long as it was something not too extravagant or personal. I don't think I'd like if he reciprocated that on mother's day though. Sent BM flowers or some such - no friggin' way.

luckykell's picture

Submitted by luckykell on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 1:46pm

If you're dealing with a sane BM, absolutely no problem! But I deal with a BM who likes to wrap naked pics of herself in w/ the gifts from the kids!

stepkate's picture

Submitted by stepkate on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 1:49pm

Well, that one would be big no-no. BM in my case isn't really crazy as far as I can tell.

NoDramaMama's picture

Submitted by NoDramaMama on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 2:29pm

Willow2010 -- his son is 7.
BlendedFam -- BM has asked his mother for pictures so she can make something "special" for him.
LuckyKell -- BM used to try stunts like that!!
stepkate -- Yes, I do agree that he is the father of her child...I think that's what gets me sad.
Stepmasochist -- He did not get her anything for mother's day, just a gift his son picked out for her..which by all means is fine with me.
jojo68 -- I have no kids of my own...so I wouldn't have expected anything for Mother's Day...but to answer your question, No.

Thanks for everybody's comments, I think I will just stick with the card. Smile