DF may not be fiance anymore. Even though I've talked with him about the issues I have with SD5, and they seem to be improving a little, I think I still want out. The fact that I have had to fight and threaten to break-up with him makes me want to give up. My health is not so good right now, I'm very unhappy, and I've become a major bitch. I used to be a young, healthy, positive person. I despise what I have become.
This whole situation makes me not want to be a stepmom or a wife. Well honestly it's not just the SD situation but also the fact that he is friends with his ex. It's great that they get along, but I would rather they not have such have a personal realationship with one another. Do I want to marry a man that has a child with another woman who he is chummy with? NO!!!!
The sad thing is that at one time I thought this man was my soul-mate, if such a thing existed. I still love him, but I do not love him like I did. When I look at him I see the anger that has been brought into my life since I met him.
Even if I get over these feelings I am afraid he will backslide. He tends to do that. Actually he can be very unmotivated and spineless. Our problems do not just deal with SD and BM, they deal with his behavior in general. I absolutly believe that people can change, but I absolutly do not belive in one person being able to change another.
The only thing that makes me even consider staying with him is his willingness to change. He expresses his love and his strong desire to be with me, and has no problem changing his bad behaviors to keep us together, but I feel like I am always having to remind him to keep it up. I don't want to run a "relationship/parenting school" my whole life. So right now I am at a loss. I have NO idea what to do.