Bad parent?
I've got 15 year old stepson with physical, mental, developmental, issues as well as health issues. He has been hospitalized since December 26, 2016. I have been with him since he was admitted to the hospitak. We are currently in a hospital that is over 300 miles from home. It takes three hours to drive each way. His bio mom has come to see him once my husband has visited four out of seven weeks. Due to transportation issues he has missed three of the visits.
Due to my stepson being developmentally 6-8 years old it is very difficult to leave him unsupervised even in a hospital setting. My original plan was to make a trip home tonight after he went to sleep unfortunately due to winter road conditions my ride was unable to go. At this point they're planning on leaving tomorrow after lunch time. I still need to make a trip home and I don't know when I can find another ride down and I'm seriously debating putting my foot down with both the child and the hospital staff that they're paid to take care of him and it will not kill them to watch him for the at most six hours that he should be awake. At the same time though with all of the issues my child has I don't want to do anything that will cause him to backslide.
I feel like I'm being a horrible parent because I need to go home to take care of things there plus I really just need a break from the hospital I've been up here for seven straight weeks no break I sleep in the room I eat in the room I even do laundry in the hospital and I feel like I'm going insane.
Okay, where is BM? Where is
Okay, where is BM? Where is BioDad? Where is your car for you to come and go as necessary?
Just a few basic questions that could all easily alleviate some of the stress on you.
Take care of yourself. If you don't you can't take care of anyone else.
BM is unemployed lives about
BM is unemployed lives about 30 miles past my home. BD is at home because of work but if he can arrange transport comes up on Friday stays the night and goes home late Saturday to go back to work. 2 weeks after hospitalization the motor in my car blew up which is why BD is having a hard time getting up here. Round trip plane ticket is $212
Ahhh. Thanks for the
Ahhh. Thanks for the clarification. Still, BM needs to be there and she needs to figure that out in a hurry.
Your dedication to your SS is commendable.
I hope things get better for you and your family very soon.
The court and OCS/CPS have
The court and OCS/CPS have given me temporary physical custody because of the amount of care he needs for his mental health issues. The hospital he is currently at isn't equipped/ staffed for his cognitive delays. That being said I need/want to leave and get stuff before surgery. My plan was to go during a period where he would be asleep so the staff had no extra work etc. Due to road conditions that didn't happen my ride will be leaving after lunch today so I can still go it just means staff would need to keep an eye on him until 6 pm when he goes to sleep. I would be back at hospital before he wakes up Wednesday morning. Obviously I won't go if SS finds the idea stressing or it upsets him.
Is this psychiatric hospital?
Is this psychiatric hospital? Several of my students were hospitalized over the years but parents were never required to be there 24/7. Or this isn't psychiatric facility? So confused on what's happening. If your husbsbd at last stages or renal failure and on dialysis when does he do that working full time and not having wife around? How often is his dialysis? A wife of my DH's friend is on last stages too and she is truly very sick, she actually had to go on disability because she is unable to work.
She said her DH is on
She said her DH is on dialysis? Oh my. I am lost
1. SS is end stage renal
1. SS is end stage renal failure. He has dialysis Monday Wednesday Friday and if needed on Saturday as well
2. Children's hospital not psychiatric. He has had 3 surgeries so far. Has 2 more this week and another in a couple of months.
SS was born with only one kidney due to BM deliberate neglect if no longer functions. Currently his Nephrologist refuses to let him leave the hospital until after the custody issue is settled. He firmly believes that if she regains custody SS will be dead in a matter of months. Yes I have court paperwork to back this up.
3. As far as hospital staff goes I'm not planning on abandoning the kid I just really need to make a trip home. Original plan was to leave after he goes to bed at 6 pm then be back by 4 am. Due to road conditions that didn't happen. My friend is going home today sometime after lunch and I've got a guaranteed ride back up at 1 am.
He is not required to have 24/7 monitoring. My issue is I'm concerned with leaving him behind and have had several nurses who can't handle him due to developmental delays. At the same time I need to go to his school, I need to pick up stuff from home. He wants clothes, toys, books. I need stuff to keep him occupied. I need to print off paperwork, grab paperwork to file taxes and grab stuff to help keep room clean and organized. Totes, coloring stuff, hangers, socks for his braces. Every time his BD comes up he brings stuff but not the right things and I'd like to have stuff here and ready before surgery because after surgery he has mental health issues PatSD, flashbacks etc and I will be unable to leave him unattended until he is mentally stable again.
Remember the safety warnings
Remember the safety warnings on aircraft: parents put on the oxygen mask first before helping the children. SS depends upon you, but you need to take care of yourself also. Burn-out is very real. I would speak with staff and shift supervisor, then catch that ride home. A few hours away will mean the world to you especially if there are additional surgeries coming up. Not a bad parent at all.