Question for the BM's out there
SS10 got given a drumkit for Christmas from his uncle, which thankfully is living at BM's house cos there's no way it would fit in my tiny flat! Anyway, his Uncle lives several hundred miles away, so although he's shown SS the basics, will only be able to teach him stuff a handful of times a year. I'm very involved in music locally, and a friend of mine has a son who's 18 who plays drums & would be willing to come round to teach SS (cheaper than a full blown teacher).
How do we present this to BM? I'm the one that would be paying for the lessons, and I would like SS10 to know that so he realises that I care about this, but I don't know how BM would react. Plus, the lessons would have to be at her house, so she'd need to arrange a day & time that's convenient and ensure SS practices in between lessons.
Any words of wisdom ladies? All I want is to encourage SS to learn an instrument properly!
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Comments
Do you and the BM get along
Do you and the BM get along well?
If so I would just say to call her up and tell her exactaly what you've told us. You're not doing anything wrong by caring about this child. And if she's a sane BM she'll be glad that her son has the option of learning this and to be able to take lessons for drums at the age of 10 has to be the coolest thing in the world! I'm sure he would love it!
Im not a BM. I just wanted
Im not a BM. I just wanted to say thats awesome!!! Good for you for being a good stepmom.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
As a BM, I think DPW has it
As a BM, I think DPW has it right on, if you send an email, especially a nicely worded one, I would think it's great that someone was taking the time to want to do something nice for my kid!
We don't really interact
We don't really interact with each other, so I would feel weird phoning her - I'd probably get my OH to do it! She can be a complete money-grabber, so I'm worried if she thinks it's from OH she'll just ask for the cash instead, but how might she react that it's me offering to pay for them? Would she then expect me to pay for other stuff for SS10?
"God never gives us more than we can cope with, I just wish he didn't have such faith in me!"
He seems fairly keen on the
He seems fairly keen on the drums, which is why i thought maybe agreeing to 6 months of lessons initially with someone cheap will give us an indication whether it's something he's taking seriously or not.
I suppose as I know the guy who'd be doing the teaching I could just pay him direct a month in advance or something, and then just check directly with him how SS is doing.
"God never gives us more than we can cope with, I just wish he didn't have such faith in me!"
and girls!!! I desperately
and girls!!! I desperately wanted a drum set when I was a kid and my awesome step-dad got one for me! Drumming isn't just for boys!
"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde
Thank guys - will tackle
Thank guys - will tackle this over the weekend!
"God never gives us more than we can cope with, I just wish he didn't have such faith in me!"