I consider my husband the head of the household and he has the final say in things. I can do that, and have faith in that, because he's a great guy with a great head on his shoulders and makes the same decisions I would! There have been times though when I've not agreed with him. But him and I are a little old fashioned on this. When we can't agree I do agree to give him the final decision. I agreed to that when I married him, and I always knew that I could trust his decisions.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone should do this. Or that I look down on anyone who isn't that way. I realize that some people cannot be that way because their husbands would take advantage of them, etc. And I also realize that saying it makes it clear that I'm not one of the womens activist! LOL! I actually wish we could go back to the old days when mom could stay home and raise the kids and dad came home to a hot dinner! I mean I guess we could do that, but we wouldn't be able to afford a home for him to come home to! So I have to work, sucks for me.

I have a x who was and still is a idiot. The man couldn't make a decision to save his life. I was the man of that relationship. No doubt about it. After the demise of that I really found my inner person and realized that I don't want to be the man of the house, I want my man to do that! I want to be the woman, up on her pedestal, loved, worshiped, and cherished! The mom that when a kid gets mouthy to my husband will say "watch what you say to your momma"! LOL! That's always been my ideal kind of marriage. I love him to peices for being the man and he loves me to peices for being his woman.

"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie

For the most part, I am the head of the household. I make the most money, I pay an overwhelmingly majority of the household bills. I am smarter when it comes to money management, and I am the one who gets things fixed/done (ex, we are being overcharged on this bill, this statement got screwed up, we need to make arrangements on this, etc). I do the grocery shopping, the bill payment, budgeting, vacation scheduling, party planning, etc. I am extremely more organized when it come to that kind of stuff.

As far as major decisions go, we normally make them together, but I have my ways of getting him to vote my way!

He is responsible for things like car repairs, he does laundry, most of the household chores, yard work. He is 3 times better at domesticated stuff as I am. He keeps up with it way better.

We split cooking duties.

I am somewhat of a control freak and he is perfectly happy just being told what to do (not bossy, but he would much rather me hand him a list of things to get done rather than figure out what needs to get done by himself).

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

As much as I hate to admit it...I'm a go with the flow type of woman when it comes to my husband's choices in the home(who has our mortgage,can we buy that piece of workout equipment?)--stuff like that. I got tired of going against the current and was brow beaten into submission.

I'm in charge of lots of stuff 100% with no say from him but he's in charge of the big stuff like our business and how much money we can spend each year on projects and frivolous stuff like cars n fun things.

We compromise on family stuff mostly and we compromise on weekend plans when possible.

I don't consider either of us to be leader or head of household. We each have our own leadership role in the home for various reasons. I'm good with decorating,cooking,creative stuff...I'm the idea girl for what our home needs,what to do with the kids,etc. He's in charge of business,money,home maintenence,landscaping,cars,bills,etc...

I'm the free spirit...he's the rock.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

Dh is used to just letting a woman tell him what to do, having lived with Satan for 20 years. While this benefits to a very good degree, I find it annoying sometimes. I don't want to be placated. I want to know that he agrees with me when I say something because he feels the same way not because he's afraid I'll go gangbusters on him or call 911 (like Wingnut would - she threatened to call 911 because he hung up on her). Its a struggle, but he is getting much better at making decisions. On the other hand, I just handed him my brand spanking new set of rules regarding SD's visitation and what I won't tolerate regarding her mother's responsibilities and I am sure even though it will pain him to do so, he will concede.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

I am the head of household ane everyone knows it, lol. But seriously, we do most of the serious decision making together (but we usually go with my decisions because DH is very impulsive). I do more cleaning, but he does more yard work. We make about the same amount of money and we split the bills in half. It evens out in the end.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

My FH is the head of the household. It makes him feel good to be supported in that.

But I am the NECK that tells the HEAD which way to turn.

I handle all the finances, make twice as much money & do most of the work around the house...if laying on the couch watching TV while your wife mows the lawn, cooks, cleans & oversees all 3 kids makes you the head of the household, well then I guess my husband would be the best head around.

My husband are co-head of household. We agree and compromise on all decision making that will effect us both. The only thing we defer to each other on is how to handle our own kids. We both will discuss children and even make suggestions, but the decision is strickly the bioparent's

I am the head of my house. My BF is fine with me making the decisions.

DH is the head of the house. Neither of us would have it any other way. I was in a relationship where I was the one wearing the pants. The guy was spineless and left me no choice. It just doesn't work for me. We both wound up resenting one another roles. It was very dysfunctional. I prefer for DH to be the head.

"There comes a time when you have to surrender the idea of what your children could be to the reality of who they are."

DH and I are in a partnership, we are both strong willed and stubborn. There is no head of household in our family, we make decisions together.

The only exception to this is when it involves parenting his kid, that's his job and not my job (as long as it doesn't affect our home, our relationship or me). If he asks my opinion I usually turn it around back to him and let him deal with it.

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine

Why do you ask misguided? Are you taking a poll?

"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie

We're pretty laid back with this stuff. Though, our money is separate and will be until we get Wilda's money bullcrap figured out. He pays the mortgage & property taxes because it's the house that he had with her and I want nothing to do with it. I pay the electric and cable, we split heating oil (he usually has to pay up front & I pay him when I can) and we each have our own seperate bills to pay. We buy what we want, things we share we decide on together. He pretty much does all of the cooking (mainly because I barely eat), I do the cleaning. We both do dishes but it's becoming mostly him because he bitched about the way that I do them and told me to relax so he can clean mold out of the sink for all I care.

However, when (if) our money is together, there are going to have to be serious changes because he's not very responsible with his money. I guess I'm not either but I at least make sure that there's always something in my account and that bills are paid first.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

We are partners, but it's definitely not an equal partnership. I make more money, I have more childcare responsibilities, I do more of the day-to-day work. DH sits in his chair and bitches about not being able to watch "his shows" on TV. Too bad buddy.

Funny thing is, I come from a family where the woman is the head of the household, it's been that way for generations in both my mom's and dad's families. But DH comes from a family where the man is the head of the household. So you can imagine the clashes that causes!

I used to be the major breadwinner until the economy dropped out from below me and now we are both making the same amount. I am the HEAD though and everyones knows it. I pay all the bills, I make ALL decisions as far as major purchases go, I clean, I cook, I do laundry, I even ripped out the carpets and had the floors sanded while he was away one time. He was against getting rid of the carpets, I hated them, and I just did it. When he came home we had beautiful hard floors thruout and he loved it.
I plan vacations, parties, get togethers. He does the outside work. Lawn, snow, Xmas lights, recycling.
Sometimes I wish he did more but I'm a control freak so it works for me.

I guess I should speak up since I said that my DH was head of household in my house because of our belief in the bible. I think BMJen's first response at the top says it perfectly--and I believe the Bible supports this. This is my belief. I know a lot of people take offense right away with anything having to do w/religion (or politics for that matter). I don't just look at one verse here and mesh it with other things. I don't know everything in the bible, but I have studied a LOT about some practical living philosophies preached, such has family, respect and love. This is what works for us because we try to follow God's standards, which are in the Bible, rather than man's.

I am not sure what to think of the couple that has the H spanking W as she is a child. I have never read anything in the Bible that supports that. No, I prefer "Husbands, love your wives. Wives respect/submit to your husbands" from Ephesians 5

DH and I have an equal partnership. He would never make a decision that I didn't agree with, though, so if I was someone who wanted the man to be the head, I would feel very confident with him in that role.

That said, I do a lot of the traditional "man" things. I pay the bills, I manage the finances, and I pretty much make the majority of financial decisions. But that's because DH is man enough to know that we will be in MUCH better shape if I do that. And DH cooks, and does the shopping, and I give him an allowance. But does that make him the "follower" and me the "head"? I don't really think so, because to me, those are the "management" issues. The REAL sign of who is in charge has to do with the larger issues of how we are going to live our lives, who we give our charitable donations to, the footprint we want to leave on the earth, etc. And we both make those decisions.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Hmmmm, FH is the boss...And I would prefer it stay that way. Big Items( homes, furniture cars etc,Very LARGE purchases ) we both make decisions. But he has great taste & we're exactly the same in things we choose...so I guess it wouldn't matter.
We decorate and love the same things. His TASTE is a LOT More extravigant then mine, I love nice things, but his is always more perfection..the BEST of the BEST..I even think the house is over the top. I don't THINK two people need 4,400 house, its massive. I'd prefer to live simpler,like half that size house. I am use to living the country life style..even though I have lived in Major cities...Love the country....FH was Military, a Stock broker , and a Professor..the last 15.. he retired for the 4th time..he is a workaholic always has been. Now going for his 5th retirement...gosh..Maybe this winter 2010.I told him tonight he needs to slow down..we're NOT as young as some of you here.
It's ( my new life) is always over the limit, better then, I could have ever expected or dreamt of in life.
I am extremely happy living this Lifestyle ( who wouldn't be), the one he has always lived. I just have too get use to it.
I am a saver, he is also,( he knows finances) but he loves to spend, and its nothing but the best, in everything he buys or does. He also loves to cook, does everything domestic,laundry, makes beds, scrubs floors, yard cars,anything that needs to be done & a perfectionist.or he will hire a professional...He even knows how to iron & sew if needed..He probably is the most "put together" Man, I've ever known in life, and does it without whinning, he just automaticly does everythng like a robot..LOL I never have to ask...ever!
He's also very Intelligent , articulate, amazing. He treats me like a Queen..opens my doors, seats me in restaurants, helps put on my coat etc... very old school..this amazes me..and he's great in the ..Playpen too LOL
I was always the bread winner, Wife/Man, of my family..I ALWAYS did both roles, Mom & Dad, since my husband became disabled when I was 24. It was a hard life, with 3 babies, very close in age..and keeping "IT" all together..Sometimes I wonder "how" I managed it alone, there must have been a reason for it. Only God Knows.
I lived very rich & very poor. I know both lifestyles. I prefer right in the upper mddle...,, NO stress...easy, laid back, calm,and very happy with the little things, and now the big things, I've been blessed with.
Honestly,My new life has been so much easier...completely different...I have not sacrificed anything, I'm living my dream, along with all my passions..In life.....Some times it just happen later in life..I guess.

I asked DH last night who he thought was the head of the household & w/o any hesitation he said it was me. He said he is fine with that too.