Are SK's voices heard in court?
SD 8 and SD 10 requests to have more time with DH over the past year has intensified. We are constantly hearing from SK's that BM yells a lot, the drive from across town to their school is too long, and the friend's house they are staying at smells like cat pee. Per our conversations, both SD's say they talked to BM about getting more visitation every week with their dad. Varied responses come from this person, who I fear has unmanaged bipolar disorder. She tells DH and the kids that she will agree to letting the kids stay over an extra night, then that night comes she'll recant. Sometimes she'll start screaming colorful adjectives at the kids, belittle them,and badmouth DH and myself (of course).
In the mean time, if DH has to converse with her in the slightest about this subject she begins screaming obscenities at him (most of the time when the kids are in earshot) saying that he is "turning the kids against" her and manipulating them to come live with us. Um, not really you freaking nutjob, you are pushing them away!!! Seriously woman, are you using the brain in your head, or renting it out to the mental facility down the road? Ugh, the stupidity is astounding!
Tonight we got the girls at 5:30 and dropped them off to BM at 8:30. SD's were very sad and moping around during their visit because their mom changed her mind AGAIN and won't let them spend the night. The thing is, Psycho lives across town, about 45 minutes away. The kids school is five minutes from our house. Vindictive much? Having the kids here on Tuesday nights to Wednesday mornings only makes sense. But again, Psycho puts her creative verbiage into the mix and tells the kids that they are being pulled to us by the devil, (dang it, where did I put my horns?).
So my question is, how are the kids opinion viewed by the court if they express the desire to have more visitation, or even move in with the other parent? I keep hearing that the age a child can choose who they want to live with is 12, and the courts still review the living situations of each home to make a more sound decision. Has anyone gone through this and what was your situation like and the outcome?
Thanks all!!
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Comments
The older they are the more
The older they are the more they are heard... but it really depends on the judge and the state your in.
Snarky, what is the current
Snarky, what is the current visitation schedule? I think you guys have a very good chance regardless if the judge hears the children speak or not, but that is just my opinion.
First of all, if you guys are already getting them once or twice during the week, especially if they are staying as late as 830 anyways, and BM lives 45min away when the school is only down the road from your house, it would make PERFECT sense for them to just stay the night.
Have you had a consult with an attorney yet? When you do, make sure that you bring up the key factors that they stay at 830pm anyways during the week, and that the school is 5min from the house.
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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
My SS was 14 when DH and I
My SS was 14 when DH and I went to court for custody. His opinion did not matter to the judge.
In our state you have to be
In our state you have to be 13, but they usually don't talk to the children. You should get a lawyer and modify the custoday agreement.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Kids deserve to be heard!
Kids deserve to be heard! Our judicial system boggles my mind especially when a stand-up father is trying to protect the physical, emotional and mental well-being of his kids. It's obvious this woman does not care about anything but herself. If BM is there while the kids talk to the judge, I'm sure they'll be too afraid to speak against her.
Here's a little history:
Psycho got initial physical custody when the divorce occurred because, per the judge, since he left, DH was confident enough to leave the kids in her care. Um, yeah, she was verbally and emotionally abusive to him, and would have called the police otherwise. She is VERY kaniving!! She wasn't doing this to the kids at that point, but we have seen her behavior worsen over the years towards the children.
Since the divorce, we have established a secure home. BM has been evicted TWICE and has not sought employment. Her reasoning is, she goes to school 'full-time' (three days a week). Our thought is, she won' get a job because she is a convicted felon. She'd have to put that on her application and tarnish her fragile image.
The oldest SD 13 refuses to come over b/c her BM allows her to do whatever she wants; including dating a supposedly 18 y/o person (we have no proof other than the SD's word or else he would be in jail!). She is also brainwashed into thinking that every (and yes I mean every) problem BM has is DH's fault. (Can't pay the rent: DH fault. Payments came late from the Clearing House: DH fault. Tardy from school because they have to drive 45 minutes to get there: DH fault. Had another baby from a different man, and can't afford to get her what she wants: DH fault).
He was advised to take her, first, back to mediation court to modify custody, and to gather any documentation necessary to assist his case (we have a bunch!). DH doesn't have enough money to secure a lawyer, so he is doing all the paperwork himself; but he is looking into affordable legal assistance, which should guide us properly. He also records every conversation with the wench, which reveals her screaming most of the time and saying he needs to give her more money, and he shouldn't have left, blah blah blah.
Has anyone been through mediation, what is it like?
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz