Sing it sister. My sd's home and our home do not having the same moral or ethical backgrounds at all and that makes life very challenging.

Same here, vgill - you're not alone. I've even nicknamed the period of time when the skids first come back home from BM's house...I always say we have to "deprogram" the skids because when they first return here, they are always lazy, disrespectful and just plain annoying. They leave empty wrappers, clothes, etc.. just laying around the house for the maid (me) to clean. By the way, they are a 15 year old girl and a 12 year old boy. 15 year old girl, who I love, becomes a total slob and 12 year old boy is a total momma's boy. BM didn't even graduate high school or have a job or a driver's license when she met FH - no goals, no morals, no ethics. Fast forward: she's teaching skids to be the same person she is: loser. SD15 failed a class last year and had C's & D's and now this year 1st quarter has failed 2 classes already and barely in the 70's with most everything else. SD15 is starting to act & become just like BM - doesn't care about her education, grades, etc..., doesn't want to work, the list goes on and on. I've learned to disengage quite a bit and I've come a long way over the past few years. I used to get so aggravated with it all - me constantly tutoring the skids and helping them study & get good grades, good morals, etc... only for BM to "erase" all of my hard work. You know what, they're her & FH's kids, not mine - I certainly wouldn't raise my own future biokids the way they do.