TheOtherMom's Blog
Last Entry for A While
This will be my last entry for about a year or so. I won't be much of a stepmom while I am gone. 
I hope that I still have a family to come home to. I hope and pray that I am miraculously able to maintain the healthy relationship that I have with my stepsons in my absence.
More than anything, I hope and pray DH will be okay and that BM does not give him grief as I am not there to protect him.
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DH Took the Advice from ST
DH took the advice offered in a previous blog where the judge said DH will have to waive his right to appeal to have this judge hear his case. So DH went to his lawyer yesterday and said "well I am not waiving my rights so please find another judge."
What I didn't expect was BM's reaction. She is livid. I don't understand why. Basically, DH is making the case take longer than necessary and if I know one very scary thing about him, he can be very cold and calculating. I wonder what he has up his sleeve for her?
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Its' the Beginning of the End?
This is our last weekend together for a year.
I put post it notes all over the house and hope the kids find them while I am gone.
I bought a little calendar and marked down significant events each month to look forward to so the time flies by.
I bought a "365 Questions" for Couples book so each day I talk to DH I can ask him questions so we don't drift apart too bad.
I don't know what else to do to prepare for this deployment.
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This Might Explain Some Step Parents' Hatred for Their Step Children
Okay it is wikipedia but it sparked my interest.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella_effect
I think it stems from deeply rooted jealousy?
It Has Begun
The boys have started asking DH for permission to do this or that. Whereas, before, it was me. I can already see him stressing the additional responsibility. And the boys have started looking for ways to manipulate him - which is a GOOD thing kind of because they are doing things like offering to take out the trash, dishes ... all the little things that DH wishes they would do to help.
I had a nightmare last night that I came home from deployment and SS11, now 13 in my dream, was sitting on the couch and looked at me stone faced and said "you don't belong here."
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Stress taking its toll on my body
I used to do yoga. Then I was bothered by the extreme quiet. That was about 10 years ago. Now I am more mature I think I would welcome it. The problem is that I can't seem to get back to that state of calm.
I am having panic attacks again. I am on meds and I don't want to increase the dose.
Everytime BM calls I get them.
The last time this was happening, I had a horrible feeling that something bad was about to happen - and it did. She countersued for child support with DH.
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Letter from the Judge's Office
DH received a letter in the mail from his lawyer asking if he wants to sign a waiver from the Assistant Judge in the custody case.
The waiver, if he signs it, will waive his right to appeal the judge's decision. If he doesn't sign it, the judge won't hear his case and another judge will have to be found.
Why would this happen? Isn't the right to appeal one of our constitutional rights?
Advice?
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How to Stop Worrying?
So I am about to deploy for 1 year and I am so worried. Originally, I was worried about the skids and DH losing his temper and lashing out at them. NOW, I know they will be okay because I have some trust in DH (and his medication) and besides, he is going through a custody battle with BM so that would be stupid ... long story.
I am worried about DH. I am worried about US being able to sustain our marriage. A year is a long time, I don't care what anyone says.
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Burn it all!
Okay I have something I am ashamed of ... I want to all the skids clothes and toys they got for Christmas from BM.
I thought I would be fine after I felt only pity for her ... then I realized ... All of her garbage is in MY HOUSE!!!!
Help me get over this stupid, petty, thing ...
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Disney BM But I am Thankful I Understand Why She Does It - THANKS ST!
We are taking our first vacation away with the kids for Christmas. It is DH's year and I am about to deploy so we saved up and are all flying to the east coast. We are all totally excited.
So we let the kids open the presents from BM and her weirdo family this morning. There is no way we could pack all that into our bags and bring it with us.
The cost of these presents besides shipping must have come out to about $600!!! Nuts.
BUT, DH remarked "Wow. Guess she has to make up for her neglect somehow."