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Its' the Beginning of the End?

TheOtherMom's picture

Submitted by TheOtherMom on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 9:55am

This is our last weekend together for a year.
I put post it notes all over the house and hope the kids find them while I am gone.
I bought a little calendar and marked down significant events each month to look forward to so the time flies by.
I bought a "365 Questions" for Couples book so each day I talk to DH I can ask him questions so we don't drift apart too bad.
I don't know what else to do to prepare for this deployment.

I desperately do not want to drift apart again. I need them to be my family when I come home. It makes it easier to have hope when you have your family to come home to.

At the risk of sounding dramatic, I can't help this feeling that I dying - in that I have this "it is the end" feeling.

I know self-prophecy will ruin a perfectly healthy relationship, but I also know how fast children grow, how men detach themselves emotionally a lot easier than women do, and that my DH and the boys are all very similar - when they hurt, they shut off their feelings.

Ugh.

Comments

Marie0124's picture

Submitted by Marie0124 on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 9:58am

I feel for you so much. I can't even imagine how hard it would be. Sounds like you ate doing everything you can to prepare!!

secondplace's picture

Submitted by secondplace on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:01am

My heart hurts for you. I hope everything you are doing will help you keep your couple connection.

TheOtherMom's picture

Submitted by TheOtherMom on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 9:54pm

Thank you! And I am fairly certain we can do the Skype thing. I am just afraid of losing touch regardless of the effort Sad

StillSearching's picture

Submitted by StillSearching on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 12:58pm

TheOtherMom, my BF just returned this past June from his deployment in Afghanistan and I too felt the "it is the end" feeling. I felt it so strongly I would cry so hard my veins under my eyes would turn red from the pressure. I really thought that he was not coming back and that was the end of us. When he came home on leave last January I felt so worried about him leaving again and kinda felt him coming home on leave was just a last chance for me to say goodbye. It was so horrible and I was an emotional wreck. My point is that we get so wrapped up in these emotions that we feel it is true like "dying." But he came home alive and well and it was just my emotions taking over my natural thinking. I hope you have a safe return and you and your DH make it through and become stronger.

NCMilGal's picture

Submitted by NCMilGal on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 3:55pm

DH and I have been living separately (other than a couple weeks here and there) for a year now. We have another six months minimum to go before he *might* get orders back to NC. There's decent odds that he'll a) get orders to Ft Stewart, GA as of Dec '12 (and will stay in TX until then) b) get snagged to be Senior Enlisted for a Provincial Reconstruction Team in Afghanistan for a year with another year in TX, or c) get orders to Ft Hood, TX (best option outside of back to Bragg)

We're still going, even if I think he deserves better - he won't quit on me. Your DH won't quit on you either.

ddakan's picture

Submitted by ddakan on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:10am

My navy wife friend couldn't live without Skype. Her and her husband stay connected that way. It must be really hard, but you must get your mind set in a positive way, and believe in it. Stop letting the IFs and BUTTs drive you nuts!!! That is pure self torture.

If you are going to have this relationship, do all you can to preserve it and if you give it your best shot...you will have the knowledge that you did what you could with what you had to work with.