StepUltimate's Blog
Newsflash: DH Must Have Sportscar
... except I won't "let" him, even though he's willing to go into $100k debt for anything I want!
Yes folks, that is the arguement. I am ashamed I haven't already separated accounts because DH is obsessed with this sports car and watching numerous YouTube vids about it. It starts at like $55k and DH wants to trade in our almost paid off vehicle and finance the rest. Because, "we can afford it" BUT, if I want to separate accounts, then he CAN'T afford it.
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Holidays, Healthcare, Future
All these are on my mind. I've been avoiding talking to DH about anything because it all comes back to: is DH seriously going to try to have SS18 live here in January (assuming SS is driving, insured, enrolled, and attending community college by then)? It's now been two months since DH kicked SS18 out, and I really REALLY like not living with SS.
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SS18 Came, Saw, Tantrum, & Back to BM's
So yesterday SS had DH pick him up to come "clean" his old bedroom (the one he lost when he got kicked OUT by DH one month ago, as detailed in my prior blogs). I was in the kitchen & got a lukewarm "Hey StepUltimate" before SS went into his old room. Based on the vibe, I quickly turned on some AC/DC "For Those About To Rock" and cranked it up enough so I wouldn't hear the b.s. DH went in and a minute later, and they both came out. "Going driving already?" I asked, but DH said SS wanted to be taken back to BM's house. Okay...
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DH Upset I Cleaned SS's Old Room
DH came home from work a little bit ago and is bummed I cleaned SS18's old room. It's still not done - tons of dust & filthy floors, more clothes to store & other clothes to donate, etc. DH doesn't like it that I unhooked the xbox and took all the gaming posters down.
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Left Upset with DH
I left for work upset with DH for being upset that I asked if SS18 had paid his phone bill yet. Every time I ask (and I know I need to stop asking), DH says "I need to remind SS" and today it was, "I'll get the money fom him" like it's a job he needs to do for SS. It's due on the 1st, and what is today?
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StepUltimate Update: SS18 Out 3 Weeks Ago
So I never posted an update to DH kicking SS18.5 out; partly because I’ve been slammed at work (massive overtime), exhausted emotionally AND due to waking up with hot-flashes at 4:00am then not being able to go back to sleep… burnt out. But I have a brief window of time alone and need to write this out.
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SS18 Lives Here No More
So I've written nearly 5 Tolstoy-length novels in the past few on StepTalk. . Of note, and tomorrow will be the first full day:
SS18 No Longer Resides en la casita de StepUltimate. Effective today.
It has been a long journey. I am here with the animals, cuddling, confident stony sneaky SS18 won't potentially be coming by - and by potential I mean he's averaged <2 nights/week @ this house since HS gradjamuhkayshun in early June.
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DH Avoiding / Delaying
So DH would rather mope & be rude to me than keep his word & tell SS18 he has to move out. Today I got angry driving home from work thinking about it... DH's flip-flop last weekend, inability to tell SS to wash his own car & practice driving with that car (not our SUV), his refusal to hold SS to any level of respect about being an adult and contributing toward this household. So I really don't know what to expect.
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DH flip-flopped, I am upset: What to do?!
So I commited Crimes Against Disengagement today and asked DH about when SS is moving out, because so far today, SS slept in past 9:30, and brought our new movie to his friends house to watch it, then return so DH can take him driving. In my car. That's not even why I'm pissed!
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DH Facing Reality
So disengaging definitely turned the tables. I've successfully emotionally (and mostly mentally) disengaged. I had an after-work event tonight & DH had the day off. I came home around 8pm and could tell DH was bummed. Now that he's not triangulated with me & SS18, it's just between the two of them. After a few minutes, DH started telling me about his anger after calling SS today & getting flack. At first I just listened, then started agreeing with DH, and then when I said I was glad DH is finally seeing this... he got mad at me.
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