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Selling the House DH bought with BM...and still owns with her! QUESTIONS!

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I've brought up the topic here before, but now this is an actual real deal that is happening! History: BM and DH bought a house and lived there together for under a year before she moved out. I moved in four years ago. Since I've moved in, we've updated almost everything (flooring, trim, doors, windows, paint, appliances, etc.). We have an opportunity to buy our dream home from someone we know, and we have just gotten pre-approved for it.

Somewhat O/T: Need house and selling advice.

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DH and BM (though never married) bought a house together. They only lived together for about 6 months in the house. I moved in 4 years ago. BM has refused to sign a quit claim - it's helping her credit, of course!

2 years ago we looked into refinancing for lower payments as well as to remove BM's name from the house. At that time, we were unable to refinance until we got a little more on top of some credit debt. Then a few months later, DH got a new job.

Is this normal? (SS5 behavior/thought processing)

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I think I've finally nailed the primary issue that seems to be the root of everything behavior-related in my SS5. Has anyone ever dealt with this? To what extent is this normal? --- (I also want to say, I do understand that he may not be that good yet at processing multiple-step instructions, but I hope I can express here what I mean, that it's MORE than just that.)

If SS5 has a thought or idea in his head, he cannot stray from that idea. If any instruction is given during that process, it simply doesn't register. Let me give examples:

Need advice on SS5's violence/anger issues - especially toward his younger brother (my son!)

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In the past 6 months we have been having issues with my stepson’s anger and violence issues. He just turned 5 this month. I need advice! But first a little bit of back story:
SS5 and BS 1.5 go to the same daycare, as well as SS’s older sister (SD7) after school. It’s a private daycare run by an older woman who has done daycare for many many years. We are usually right on with her discipline style and the way she raises the kids.

How to teach the dangers of "tanning" to skids 4 and 7?

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We recently got the skids after our week off, and they were RIDICULOUSLY tan. I mean, insane tan. TAN TAN. Don't get me wrong, I totally remember being outside all day long in the summer and getting tan when I was a kid. And I've used a tanning bed before, and gotten spray tans so I'm not judging those that do tan occassionally. I personally have stayed away from tanning beds for the last 3 years and I'm really proud of myself, and trying to "own" my skin.

How old is it still okay to have brother and sister sleep with each other?

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SD7 and SS4 share a bedroom. We are hoping by the time SD7 is old enough she won't want to share with her brother, we'll have a bigger house and a room for her, and the other scenario would be to have our BS1 share with SS when BS is older (however I don't really feel it's that fair to have our BS share a room and give a room to SD7 who is a. not our daughter and b. only with us 4 days EOW...but anyway.)

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