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Venting.....Again

stepmom23WV's picture

As I sit here while my DH is arguing yet again with BM because the children are still out with their grandma, I keep thinking about all of the crap that BM keeps putting us and the children through. Its bad enough that SD8 is not doing well in school, hates to go to school and makes up reasons to stay home from school, now BM is letting them stay out all night so that they are tired for school tomorrow. I just wish she would realize that the things she does are detrimental to the children's well-being. I really do love my skids and it kills me to know that BM only does what is best for her. They don't get to enjoy their childhood when they are with her. She is too worried about losing that CS so she is making them worry about all of the court stuff instead of letting them just have fun. We hardly get to do anything with the children anymore that is fun because she keeps them in so many sports and activities (which of course are on our weekend time so she doesn't actually have to take them) and comes up with excuses to get them on our time that we don't have a free minute to even take them to a movie or to the park. The kids are so different when they are with us than when they are with her. When they are here they are light-hearted, loving, care-free kids. Then they have to go back to her house where they become distant, withdrawn and seem to be stressed and depressed. I am so worried that she is going to convince them to lie to the GAL and they will be stuck as part of the cycle with their mom and grandma, in a home where they are taught that women shouldn't have to work so therefore education shouldn't be as important as looks and popularity, that the men are the ones who are sopposed to do that so the boys are expected to grow up faster and act older than they are, where it is OK and even encouraged to lie and cheat, where you are taught to be lazy and that is you don't get what you want to tell everyone you are sick so they feel sorry for you. I am so frustrated with BM and her manipulations.

Comments

StickAFork's picture

Why is your DH arguing with BM because the kids are with their grandmother??

I DO NOT understand why so many parents are all up in the other parent's business.

stepmom23WV's picture

It is not because they are with their grandmother. It is because they are 6,8 and 10 and are out past 10:00 on a school night. They haven't been home yet and when he talked to them at 9:30 they still hasn't done their homework. So even if they get home sometime soon they will still be up atleast another hour or so doing homework and getting baths. This is an every night thing and SD is already doing poorly in school because she keeps falling asleep during class. Also, if you look at my other posts you will see that grandma is part of the problem. (teaching the kids to lie, telling them how daddy is a bad person, convincing them they have terrible diseases, not to mention this woman has assult charges pending for attacking one of BMs friends)

I just have to ask....everything in my post about all the stuff BM and Grandma do and you choose to criticize my husband for not wanting the kids to be out at 10 on a school night?? Why? Its not about being "up in" her "business". Its about these constant late nights being detrimental to the children and their education.

stepmom23WV's picture

Its not about attacking her parenting style, if that were the case there would be many more arguments than there are. These late nights are causing the children to fall behind in school. SD falls asleep everyday in school and the teacher has contacted DH about it. If you read my post you will see that they had not done their homework and I don't know how schools are where you live but here homework is due the next day you can't double up on homework to make up for what you didn't do the night before. They finally got home around midnight, which as I stated in my original post is becoming an every night occurance. SD also didn't go to school today because she was "sick" which is what she says when she doesn't want to get up and go to school. So I think DH was right to say something when its affecting their education.